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October 26, 2009

Top of the Fugs

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I just found myself singing, "words, words, words," to the tune of Motley Crue's "Girls, Girls, Girls," and that's how you know it's a Monday.

The words that occurred to me vis a vis this particular ensemble included: TOO MANY ACCESSORIES. Okay, I guess that's technically more of a phrase. But you smell what I'm cooking. Accessories soup. And it's turning rancid.

October 8, 2009

Crank II: Fug Voltage

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way too much going on

What psychedelic publication hired Bai Ling to be its papergirl?

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

I MUST KNOW. Because clearly I need to read it.

September 21, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Phoebe Price

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HOW IS SHE STILL GETTING TICKETS TO THIS THING?

It certainly isn't because of her contributions to our combined sartorial health and wellness.

September 2, 2009

9Fug210

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Oh, DRUNKFACE. Your face is drunker than ever!

I know Axl Rose, Drunkface. Axl Rose was a friend of mine (by which I mean if he hit me with his car, I'd be able to tell the cops that it was MOTHERF'ING AXL ROSE who ran me over). And you, Drunkface, are no Axl Rose.

Nor, in case you were wondering, are you Steven Tyler.

No, nor are you Bret Michaels (you need a bandanna for that).

No, I'm sorry, you are also not CC DeVille.

No, David Lee Roth also doesn't fly.

No, I'm very sorry, nor will I even accept Kid Rock.

Tacky '80s groupie, the likes of which I have seen in many an episode of Behind the Music, generally before a segment in which someone drives his car into a cliff/ODs on glue/loses a limb/decides to invest all his money in solid gold faucets?

Hmm.

Yes. Yes, that I will accept. Congratulations! I think you're supposed to flash us your boobs now.

August 25, 2009

Google Fug

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Wikipedia is a FONT of information for us today. I just looked up Teyana Taylor here, and I learned so much:

She is apparently officially "an American singer, rapper, and dancer." I would add, "an unabashed lover of trends who is NOT AFRAID to wear them ALL AT ONCE!" That being said, I actually love the red jacket, and she's super young so I feel like she pulls off the tee shirt, but the overall effect is that her upper half has written a check that her bottom half can not cash. Her pants, with the help of those shoes, have BOUNCED that check. Her metaphorical checking account is OVERDRAWN! Her fashion APR is about to SKYROCKET! She is totally going to get hit with major early withdrawal fees from her sartorial...IRA? I don't know. You just witnessed that metaphor crash and burn, my friends. You're welcome.

August 21, 2009

Unfug It Up: Lynn Collins

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way too much going on

So, Lynn Collins here has been popping up all over the place lately -- often wearing a top hat, for some reason -- and I swear to God, I couldn't for the life of me remember what role she played in True Blood. (Of which I have only seen the first season thus far, due to a long and very boring story involving HBO, my OnDemand, Time Warner Cable and Netflix. I know. It's annoying. And iTunes doesn't have any of season two available yet. I JUST NEED THE FIRST SEVEN EPISODES, HBO. Deep breath.)

Anyhoodle, I eventually figured out that she played a coworker of Sookie Stackhouse's down at Merlotte's who meets with -- shall we say, a less than ideal end? All I know is, if you look WAY better in the super short shorts and white tee shirt sported by the lady employees of Merlotte's than you do in your civies, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. When it comes right down to it, thought, I don't really loathe this dress SPECIFICALLY. I think that it competes horribly with the backdrop here, which is not her fault, but mostly I think the styling on this is....problematic. Those shoes with that dress, and that lipstick, and that hair....honey, I just want to start over with you.

That's where you come in, readers: put on your best Rachel Zoe and fix this mess. Nicely, of course.

August 13, 2009

The Fugs Next Door

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You know, I am someone who doesn't have a problem showing up places a little overdressed. (Not that you'd ever guess that looking at me right this moment.) I feel like, my pretty clothes hardly ever get to leave the house, since I work from home, so I might as well trot them out now and then. But there is a line. AND THIS IS WAY OVER IT:

THIS is the premiere of a movie about used car salesmen that Jeremy Piven was reduced to promoting on Big Brother. YOU, Holly Madison, look like you're attending a ball where the dress code is "Into the Woods Formal." I understand that now you've broken up with Hef, you don't have the opportunity to throw wildly extravagant theme parties anymore, and that must be tough for you. But there is a time and a place to work through your unquenchable desire to dress like you're the love child of an ostrich and a tree, and this, my dear, is not it.

August 11, 2009

10 Things I Fug About You

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way too much going on

SIGH. Lindsey Shaw here is so charming and excellent on 10 Things I Hate About You -- thank god I watch a lot of ABC Family, as I noted yesterday on our Twitter, or else I wouldn't know who half these whippersnappers are -- that I just want to HELP A SISTER OUT HERE:

GIRL. WHAT. IS. THIS? Rip off the apron attached to her waist AND the one attached to her boob and we might be in business, but as it is, it looks like an El Torito threw up on the St. Pauli girl. That's a recipe for heartburn hanging in your closet if I ever saw one.

June 4, 2009

Harry Fugter and the Fug-Blood Prince

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Emma Watson had a Rodarte event to go to, so clearly, she felt obligated to deck herself out in some borrowed gladrags from the designers. Usually that must be an awesome perk of the job, but Emma doesn't look super convinced by the one she ended up with:

[Photo: WENN.com]

It's like the shabby-chic beauty-pageant stepsister to the one Natalie Portman wore to promote The Other Boleyn Girl. I keep expecting the blue sash to SAY something, like maybe Miss Teen Rock Opera 2009, acknowledging her excellent achievement in managing to look a bit like the sort of trendy biker-boho-ballerina you'd find running around on-stage singing "Somebody To Love" in We Will Rock You. All she's missing is some combat boots and a dodgy script.

May 29, 2009

The Fugly

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I feel like Ms Whitney Port here, by virtue of being very young and tall and lanky, is one of the few people on earth who can kind of truly pull off these jeans:

Like, I get them. I still think they look like the jeans I wear to garden in, and that -- at best -- they're really too casual for anything other than daytime running around town, but I GET IT. We're all wearing our fat jeans out and about right now and that's okay. It's temporary. In fact, my theory is that this is a natural next step from how we all started wearing big floaty tops and dresses a few years ago and haven't entirely stopped: it's because we all realized that wearing something that didn't require sucking in our stomachs constantly was DELIGHTFUL. I guarantee, in fact, that I am going to get a pair very much like these at some point -- because I am sadly prone to following jeans trends, with the exception of the high-waisted, because I am not totally out of my mind -- and that there will then be a point where I am wearing them and I catch sight of myself in a mirror out at the market or whatever and I think to myself, "JESUS CHRIST THESE JEANS ADD TEN POUNDS TO ME WHAT AM I DOING?" but then I'll be out and about and stuck in them for at least the next hour and then we'll all be filled with pants-related-regret. I'll let you know when that happens. But this is not about her jeans, contrary to what you might have anticipated after reading all that. It is not about her matchy-matchy black-and-white color scheme. It is about her freaking headband. It looks like a spitball on her head. Stop the headband madness, girls. None of us are Blair Waldorf.

Results tagged “way too much going on” from GoFugYourself

Top of the Fugs

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Crank II: Fug Voltage

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Phoebe Price

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9Fug210

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Google Fug

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Unfug It Up: Lynn Collins

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The Fugs Next Door

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10 Things I Fug About You

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Harry Fugter and the Fug-Blood Prince

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The Fugly

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