In my haste to make fun of Ben Affleck's appearance at the premiere of The Bourne Supremacy last week, I somehow missed this little gem:
That's CASEY AFFLECK with him, people! Doesn't it look the Topher Grace of 2017 come back to the future [or whatever] to warn his younger self against getting into Scientology, no matter what that Masterson punk tells him? ["Also, kid, the Kabbalah stuff that Kutcher's always yakking about? Avoid that, too. Do you want to end up like Esther? Have you -- oh, wait, that hasn't happened yet. Just keep an eye open, Toph!"] Men! The mustaches! No! Not on the young! Mustaches are for people's fathers, and, sometimes, ugly porn stars, and also Tom Selleck, but that is it! Enough!
Please note that Ben Affleck continues to sport his bloated, Hey Brother [Literally], Can You Spare a Dime homeless man chic look and also appears to need to hang on to Casey in order not to do a face plant into the red carpet. Seriously, Ben, I do remember when you were cute. Go back to Promises. And stop by Fred Segal on the way and see if they'll give you a facial in the new salon there.
