I met Samaire Armstrong at a party once, and she was delightful; gracious, charming, well-spoken. She's adorable on Entourage. I even liked her on The OC, despite my tendency to back the bitchy brunette leg of any televised love triangle, including the one she was involved in [see also Walsh, Brenda versus Taylor, Kelly; Witter, Pacey versus Leery, Dawson]. However, as adorable as she is, the girl is obviously a vampire, unable to see her reflection in mirrors. How else do you explain this?
Or this?
Or -- sweet Jesus -- this?
Look, that is just not okay. The poor girl looks deranged. There's no excuse for unleashing such fugitude upon the land. It's not quirky or eccentric or free-spirited. It is ugly and unflattering.
Samaire, you adorable moppet, for the love of all that is holy and right, please fall into the Gap. Just once. You might like it there. You don't have to live there! Just invest in, say, something black. With two sleeves. And wear it with jeans. Don't pile a dress on top of that. Or use a disco ball as a handbag. Or decide to tuck the jeans into knee-high hot pink tranny boots.
More isn't always more. Sometimes, it's just too much.
