We knew Kirsten Dunst was making a scary transition into a geriatric, but we didn't realize it was going to be so permanent:
Judging by this reader-submitted photo, Granny Dunst is getting ready -- sartorially speaking -- to buy a condo in Naples, Florida, where her braless breasts can finally complete their frantic surge toward her knees. She will don her flowery frock over her jazzercise leggings, grab her bermuda purse, and shlep to bridge, not bothering to shower because Eau d'Old Lady is potent enough that the rest of the foursome won't smell the sweat.
[Also, she doesn't have time -- she has to go home first to find Edna's BeDazzler, which she's had for months even though she finished plugging her shoes with lead a long time ago. If Edna doesn't get it back then she can't loan it to Madge, and if Madge doesn't get it in time to make her denim caftan sparkle before Tuesday's Red Lobster Seniors' Night mixer, well, she'll never fork over her recipe for Stewed Pork Chops In Prune Sauce.]
Even my gran hates that dress!
Everything, EVERYTHING sucks about this outfit and I am very forgiving when it comes to fashion. Girl needs some tinted moisturizer and mascara to even out that face too. FUG-LY!
HEY! It's Mrs. Bonham, my first grade teacher! Good to see she's spry enough for a cruise in her golden years! HI, MISSUS BOOOOOONHAAAAAM!!!
I realize that this is like criticizing the paint job on the Titanic, but what purpose does the belt serve?
So that's where my water balloons went!
She was on her way to the "Ms. Fugly-Ass Shoes Pageant." I pick up a new nuance of fugly ever time I look at them. It's like looking at grisly crime scene photos: you know it's horrible and makes you shudder but you cannot stop looking because the sheer godawfulness sucks you in and MAKES YOU LOOK.
Just because you are famous and have loads of money, doesn't mean you can buy several different items and then put them all together in one outfit.
Your boobs, even as small as they are, are sagging.
The dress is dumpy.
The belt.. hideous and totally out of place with something "halter"
The shoes.. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Overall F-
What's wrong with wearing a bra?
Kirsten,
Cynthia Nixon from Season 3 called. She would like her wardrobe back, pronto.
I guess it doesn't matter if she's just going somewhere like the market, it's not like a superstar like her needs to wear tinted moisturizer to just please little people looking at celebrities wearing nasty clothes on websites. But please, Kirsten. Wear a bra. You are halfway there to become one of those saggy old ladies on the Discovery channel- wait, how is it that she was looking goregous at the oscars, and her boobs had a shape and didn't reach her FEET, but yet here it's a totally different story? how does she sag them one day and perk them the next? i don't get it.
Never, never has there been a more inexcusable choice of footwear for a woman who is neither 1) over the age of 100 or 2) on welfare. Dude, sometimes it does NOT feel good to Pay Less.
That dress is too old for dear Kirsten. She is a cute girl who should find a more suitable outfit for her age. This one is not very pleasing on the eyes.
I am slowly coming to the realization that the only practical explanation for Kirsten's sartorial crimes is that she is a vampire. I know, I know, we all thought there were no such things, but just stay with me here a moment, people.
The evidence:
1. She is looking more bloodless every day.
2. Apparently, there was no one—friend, assistant, pool boy—at her house when she walked out the door wearing this travesty. Ergo, she has drunk their blood, leaving only dried-out corpses unable to object to her wretched fashion choices.
3. Despite the fact that as she walked from her closet/dressing room through the house on her way to the car (no chauffeur, remember—she killed him) she must have strolled past at least a few mirrors, she obviously did not see her reflection in any of them.
For the record, I have no problem with her breasts. So, they're hanging down a bit. That's fine. Kind of hot in a weird sort of way. But, what the fuck is up with those shoes? And that dress? And that belt? And perhaps we could wash our face before we go out in public, or are you trying to convince the world that there's no need to drill in the arctic refuge, because there's enough oil on your face to go around?
My grandmother who lives in Palm Springs has this dress. No seriously, she really has one exactly like it with a matching red, print-piped bolero jacket.
Too bad Kirsten left her bolero jacket at home.