There's no more graceful way to say it, so I'll just blurt it out: What the hell is this?
Perhaps it's her Halloween costume from the legendary time she went as a dust ruffle. Or maybe Scarlett O'Hara ran off with the dress that's supposed to go over the petticoat, leaving poor Natalie with no option but to go as she was, dressed like a child bride on her wedding night.
Even Ms. Portman apparently knew she'd fugged it up bigtime: For most of the night after her win for Closer, she was wearing someone's suit jacket over this bizarre wifebeater-turned-sundress. That gives us some hope.
Yeah, I recognize this crap because I used to--um--subscribe myself, back in my twenties. It's the "don't ask me to do anything or know anything, cuz I dust a widdle, widdle goo-wul. A widdle goowul. No bwow-jobs, nussing. Widdle tiny."
Sheesh.