"Hey guys, if I could just present this award real fast, because I have to pee?
Also, I know you're all wondering why I'm dressed like a walking banana with a big old bite taken out of it, but I can't tell you that, because, frankly, I have no idea what I was thinking when I decided I should borrow this dress from my neighbor, who was a showgirl at the Tropicana in 1974. I guess I thought it would be festive. But everyone's going to slam me for it, aren't they? I should have known when Lance said, 'THAT is MY favorite mistake' when I came out of the bathroom. I thought he meant me, in general, but now I know he means my outfit, specifically. So, yes, I know, I look like a cross-dressing, jaundice-afflicted Iggy Pop, but I'm here to present an award, so let's just get it over with so I can get back to the line for the ladies room. I really don't trust Kelly Osbourne to hold my spot for very much longer."
I thought he meant me, in general, but now I know he means my outfit, specifically.
hahaha... gold... this post made my day.
That is too fricken' skinny.
Sheryl, you know it's time for a snack when you can count your ribs.
You know, just because you're dating Lance Armstrong doesn't mean you have to dress like a yellow Tour de France jersey.
And Sheryl, please eat something. You're going to scare the children.
WON'T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?
Thank you thank you thank you for saying what I have been thinking ever since I saw this fugliest of dresses. I read that she joked she made it out of Lance's jerseys, but honestly, if she had it could only have looked better. Maybe Sheryl should have her own yellow bracelets - hers could symbolize world famine.
My gawd...I didn't think Sheryl was *that* skinny. She looks really unhealthy. Look at her exposed upper leg! I can't tell if thats a bone or a muscle but a woman's upper leg should be a little supple, at least. Not bone and gristle.
But on to the outfit. Chiquita Bonita anyone? She looks like the lady on the sticker of my morning banana.
Color of outfit aside, what is with that rope/pipe puffy business that trails around her like a snake?
Fortunately, she seems to have dieted her boobs away, so the lack of bra isn't as bad as previous fugsters.
Wow. The only thing less attractive than a half naked skelatal Sheryl Crowe is a half naked skelatal Sheryl Crowe covered in this fugly dress.
And personally, if I'd had cancer and been really sick and seen people who weighed next to nothing because their bodies were eaten away by disease, I don't think I'd want to lay down at night with someone who purposely tried to look this way.
She is a triathlete, and I don't think she looks skinny...just completely buff and cut...but being an uber-studette is no excuse for that dress...completely badddd. I bet Lance's ex-wife is laughing her head off!
I just noticed the tinsel-like fringe.
She's a poster child for anorexia.
Holy moley, eat something, please. You're scaring me.
Sheryl, we're pretty sure Lance said you should EAT a banana, sugar, not dress up as one. Think 'potassium content', not 'fashion statement'. Good lord, what if someone had told Sheryl to eat a sandwich?
Thanks, Jess, for bringing new and scary meaning to the words "peeler bar".
i understand wearing the livestrong bracelet, but dressing like one is a whole nother story. seriously guys, we get the point...
"Sheryl, we're pretty sure Lance said you should EAT a banana, sugar, not dress up as one. Think 'potassium content', not 'fashion statement'."
Fantastic, Sandman!!
As soon as I saw Sheryl, I knew I'd be reading about her here. Absolutely hideous. Skinny and fringey and yellow..bad bad bad.
the golden part looks like a lei or christmas tinsel glue-gunned around the hole. awful!
I knew it was only a matter of time. Saw this last night and said I can't wait to see what the fuggers have to say about this one. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy.
I'm just thinking that, with only .025% body fat between the two of them, it's amazing that there aren't more bruises on her regrettably exposed "flesh". Seriously, those two in bed have to be like bicycles crashing with all the bones and angles.
Will someone please tell Hollywood to GET OVER THE CUTAWAY DRESS! Duh - it is so over and it never flattered anyone - even someone as buff as Sheryl Crow. Yikes and that color with the weird twisty gold snakey thingy - yick. As creepy as Lance's southern minister suit fug.
If we've learned anything from the Grammys it's this:
Remember, ladies and gentlemen....to ALWAYS match your clothes to your $1 rubber band bracelet! Not doing so, could cause a major fashion tsunami.
Um, Sheryl Crow is many things, but she is not a triathlete. I'd like to say that triathletes dress better than that... but they don't.
Why didn't Lance giver her his jacket... or at least a couple extra livestrong bracelets to cover up with?
Sheryl, sweetie. I know what they've told you, but they're lying. Carbs really are your friends! They love you, and they want back into your life. I'd like to introduce you to a little friend of mine called "Bread." Life is so much more rewarding when you're not recieving your sole nourishment from an IV drip/the blood of virgins. Don't be a hater, Sheryl. Love the carbs--or any solid food, for that matter.
She's too old to dress like this (not that this dress would look good on anyone, but especially on someone her age....)
There goes the neighborhood...
Sheryl in tacky prom-dress store: You can be totally rock star crazy at the Grammy's right?
Sad college student/wannabe actress: Well, you can... you are Sheryl Crow!
Sheryl: You are so right. Let's see... I need something that shows off my amazing abs. I date Lance Armstrong, did you know that?
Wannabe: *nods while thinking,'I hope I'm that hot at her age'*
Sheryl(still yammering): He works out with me all the time now. I've given up smoking pot every day to become a tri-athlete. That is why I am so ripped. You know what? In tribute to my Lancy's left ball I am going to match my dress to this LiveStrong band. What have you got in LiveStrong yellow?
I think we need a whole new website dedicated to celebrities that need to EAT A GODDAMN SANDWICH.
"I don't think she looks skinny...just completely buff and cut..."
no, hon, those are ribs. side-muscles don't typically come in parallel stripes of that precise angling. also please note the arm... cut muscles in an arm would cause bulging along the long bone section, not around the elbow joint.
as an aside, is that a single slipping boob or the other half of her ribcage under there?
Ugh...she is just trying so hard to hang on to Lance. She is way too old for that dress...which reminds of something worn by "Dawn" from Tony Orlando and Dawn way back in 1973. And while she's at it, could she please get an upper lip? And, no, she's not a triathlete...more like a "triathlete groupie." That explains her anorexic body and attitude.
you know what really gets me about the terrible dress, other than its glaring tackiness? I could have sworn I read a number of interviews a few years ago where Crow was talking about how she would never become obsessed with her body and was comfortable with the way she was, and I think she even went so far as to kind of trash Madonna. And now we see this?
Et tu, Sheryl?
lol @ Julie. Amen, sister.
To top the whole yeesh factor off, it looks like there is a ring of dirt going around her waist. Ugh.
Ribs are for eatin', not for displayin'. Just sayin'.
Sheryl CRONE.
It looks like a gangsta shark took a bite out of her dress and left his gold caps behind.
Damn! Sheryl needs to eat a sandwich...or two. Does Lance like 'em that skinny. No wonder she's looking like haggard the horrible these day.
drmack'n, thank you. the first thing that i thought of when i saw this dress was.....SHARK ATTACK!! remember the scene in Jaws when he's looking through the book of shark/shark attack photos while his kid's in his birthday boat? then he turns the page and sees this monstrous bite taken out of someone's side and screams at the kid to get out of the boat? this dress was inspired by that shark bite victim.
Does anyone remember when Sheryl Crowe was dirty and didn't know how to dress. She still couldn't sing but at least she was "keeping it real yo" It's just wrong to do that to a banana.
I believe that Sheryl is seriously sucking in her gut here (as would I in a similar situation), thus making her ribs stand out even more than they would normally. But my gauge of preternatural skinniness is the upper arm - and hers is approaching bone and skin, so I would concur with the sandwich comments.
Can I just say, I am so SICK of celebrities being normal and cute, then getting famous, and then one year later: SKELETAL. Hey girls - skeletons aren't sexy! Stop making that level of thinness the norm! "Regular" people everywhere will thank you.
Somebody get that girl 50 cc's of gravy. STAT!
Sheryl: are you "strong enough" to eat something? Was the "first cut the deepest" concerning your dress? Are you trying to "soak up the sun"? "If it makes you happy," then why do you look so bad? That is all.
Is she really a triathlete? I thought maybe she got on a coke diet to forget the fact that she's a half-assed musician. Maybe Lance can introduce her to steroids.
Oh and...
"It looks like a gangsta shark took a bite out of her dress and left his gold caps behind."
PRICELESS.
I just wanted to post this:
http://www.multisports.com/news/963126000.shtml
If you scroll down there's a picture of the top three women in the German Ironman triathlon. It's from 2000, but it's the best example I could find of what female triathletes might look like.
Oh, and on topic: that dress= ew.
I think Sheryl slimmed down because she modeled a dress during fashion week and I'm sure she wanted to be as slim as she could for that. I think she looks great, she just shouldn't drop one more ounce of weight. She is toned and aging naturally it seems. The dress is pretty silly but I've seen a lot worse.
about to turn left on Farrah Fawcett Boulevard
Aging naturally huh? She is about to turn left on Farrah Fawcett Boulevard. She is an anorexic freak with really bad taste in 70's sitcom glamazon clothes. She threw herself at an egomaniac athlete fresh off a divorce. She does not have an upper lip.
Jamie Foxx's date wore the same dress in a pale pink? white? cream? Can't tell what color that is:
http://cache.gettyimages.com/comp/52194825.jpg?x=x&dasite=MS_GINS&ef=2&ev=1&dareq=E2399169AC85D6DE3CD9B8550AEAEDDC2DC62298C70083DA621B2AC3A62513D3
The dress is still fugly in pale pink, but at least it looks better on someone with some meat on their bones, no?
She looks like she got dizzy from hunger and had to grab onto Lance to keep from tipping over. Girl needs a sandwich.
I thought we were through with heroin chic. Even Kate Moss weighs more than that.
Eww. Scrawny and gross. WHO looks good in all yellow?!
Maybe the fugly mole on her face will fall off from malnutrition.
Everything about Sheryl Crow for the last 5 years now screams "desperately in denial of my age". And that dress is the biggest cry for help of them all.
Damn, she looks like a rawhide chewtoy. No body fat + overtanned = shoe leather, sweetie.
Terrible outfit. Far too skinny. And she's always looked slightly mannish to me.
Skinny or buff, I don't care.
The tragedy as I see it? I never ever never never never wanted to be able to imagine Sheryl Crow naked, and now I can.
Help meeeeeee.....
That dress looks like a Tina Knowles original.
why do women do this to themselves? maybe three men in all of history have thought that turning real people into living skeletons is an attractive idea, and that includes one insane german dictator. and speaking of karl lagerfeld, when are we going to fug him hard?
She did realize that she didn't have to match her dress to her livestrong bracelet. Oh and please Sheryl eat something..i've seen more meat on a chicken wing from KFC.
This is sssoooo sad, these women used to be musicians. They wore leather pants and did their thing, which was music. I have never seen Cheryl look soooo bad, trying to be something she is not, the Hollywood starlet. Like we don't have enough of those shallow creatures around. Also just as majorly disappointed in Gwen Stefani. Two words ladies - SELL OUT. Go back to keeping it real, that's where the respect is.
omg that fuckin bracelet.
DON'T you get it? She matches THE bracelet! Horrific.
I would like to give a big 'ol THANK YOU to everyone who posted. As a former anorexic who struggles to be ok with eating and being healthy, it is so damn GOOD to hear people point out that the women of Hollywood are too thin and that women should not try to look like them.
Sheryl's been weird ever since Eric Clapton dumped her. Maybe she thinks being this thin will keep the new celebrity boyfriend interested?
I agree she looks hideous both because the dress is nasty and her body is scrawny but....i've read several comments about the outfit not being age-appropriate and i'm curious....while i realize some of you posters may be shy of 30, 43 is just NOT old. what would you have her wear? a big jumper with some support hose? C'mon.
Oh, and she has had some work done. Overall, she looks better than ever...but could stand to put some weight back on.
The no underwear is WAY GROSSER then the ribs and hamstring tendons sticking out!
Is it just me or the idea of her going camando, which she obviously is here, just give you the shivers? Sick! Even the tightest elastic on underwear probably doesn't even stay up around her non-existent waist! More like skeletal hip bones like those anorexics that you see on Oprah.
Lance should have promoted LIVE STRONG UNDERWEAR, then at least she would be wearing some....
In her head Sheryl was singing, "All I wanna do is have some fun, dress up like my breakfast, I'm not the only one..."
Someone very young has a better chance of pulling off looking cute in a silly outfit. Once one passes 30 I think it's better to try to actually look _good_ rather than cute, and by 40 I think "dignified" should be added to the mix. Banana yellow...no. (For reference, I'm 33.)
I agree with the poster - age has nothing to do with the neon bright fug that is present here. She could be 20 and the dress would still be ugly. I don't know HOW anyone could think that this looks good. Simply put Sheryl looks like a walking skeleton. Not attractive. In fact, Lance better watch it when he goes in for an embrace - he could get impaled on any one of those protruding bones.
6 words:
"SHERYL GET A FEED NOW PLEASE!."
This dress looks even worse from the front: http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20050214/i/r2450436626.jpg
It makes me sick that E! called her "fit and buff" or some other b.s. like that. She is as buff as a concentration camp prisoner... the press should stop endorsing eating disorders.
"And personally, if I'd had cancer and been really sick and seen people who weighed next to nothing because their bodies were eaten away by disease, I don't think I'd want to lay down at night with someone who purposely tried to look this way."
OUCH! And yet so true.
Sharona, you're right that 43 is not that old, but some people age better than others. Crow's problem is she has lost so much weight that the extra layer of fat -- the one that all women have under their skin -- which naturally breaks down with age has ALREADY begun to do so with her. That causes a lot of protruding lumps that you wouldn't normally see on a younger body. If you look at the front picture Kay posted you can see the lumps on her stomach and the sharpness of her hip bone. That's not just being skinny, that's the look af aging...and in Crow's case, it's premature. I'm 42 and I don't have that problem yet...but I don't have most of Crow's problems (thank goodness, lol).
She's past the point of looking fit. I'm a triathlete myself and at high points of the season I do get pretty wiry, but past that, I let up on the regimen and get back some poundage. If she keeps it up she's going to collapse. But the whole point is the fugly dress. She's in love with being in love with Lance, I mean, yellow dress and rubber band? Give me a break. Sheryl is no triathlete and no singer. His ex-wife is a lot better looking.
She's past the point of looking fit. I'm a triathlete myself and at high points of the season I do get pretty wiry, but past that, I let up on the regimen and get back some poundage. If she keeps it up she's going to collapse. But the whole point is the fugly dress. She's in love with being in love with Lance, I mean, yellow dress and rubber band? Give me a break. Sheryl is no triathlete and no singer. His ex-wife is a lot better looking.
Hey, nice shot of the whippet from Westminster.
what... did she just happen to fall into the box of christmas garland after she chose to dress like a big banana...shameful
Enjoyed the amusing comments...and I do enjoy mocking celebs, believe me.
Having said that, Crow said something that I thought was rather sweet.
Notice the color of the dress? If you watched the Tour de France, it'd be familiar...it's the color of the leader's jersey.
And if their was any doubt about whether or not it was a deliberate tribute to her sweetie, she said flat out that she decided to have her dress made from Lance's winning jerseys.
i wonder if she's waiting for rico (who wore a diamond, and was escorted to his chair) to call her over.
she... lost... her... LOVE.
No, I think she bumped into Anna Nicole Smith who fell off her Trim Spa wagon. In a euphoric hunger, she took a bite out of Sheryl mistaking her for a banana.
Ribs are NOT sexy.
ok dudes i'm gonna force feed her straight lard if i have to but she will be gettin rid o' them ribs and gainin some fat. NOW! so who's with me?!