I present to you Jennifer Lopez, taking the old phrase, "She could wear a potato sack," very, very literally:

The light wood heels on her boots make her look like the latest from Jennifer Convertibles.
« Kabbalah Fuglet | Main | Califugia »
I present to you Jennifer Lopez, taking the old phrase, "She could wear a potato sack," very, very literally:

The light wood heels on her boots make her look like the latest from Jennifer Convertibles.

A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?
Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.
Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!
Thank you! Click here to find out all the details!
P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T, IMHO.
way to look 1,000 pounds
Looks like nice material....for a saddle....
She really looks preggers! Little Anthony-Lopez on the way?
The dress only accents the infamous JLo butt!
Either she got dressed in the dark or... What was she thinking????
Pregnant in those boots? Not a good idea. I'm wondering about her breasts -- it looks like the dress starts under them, but ... ???
Whoa. I see her bad taste in men is showing up in her clothes. Or is it vice versa?
To cap off this fuggery, she's also sporting the Gwyneth Paltrow heidi braids from the Oscars of yesteryear. This is a head-to-toe fug. Doesn't in any way, shape or form excuse it, but I agree she's preggers.
This dress would look better in Burlap.
What's up with the wooden-bracelets-to-my-elbow look? Of course, I only noticed them after I decided that computer artists must have digitally erased her bustline. YIKES!
She looks terrible! She looks either fat or pregnant, take your pick. If she is pregnant, that's definately not the best way to hide it. If she's not pregnant, then what the hell happened? She usually looks nice, although, I can remember a few outfits from her past that I could have lived without...
And where did her boobs go?!
Agreed head-to-toe-fug:
Hair: Princess Leia called. She wants her 'do' from "Empire Strikes Back: The Hoth Planet Years" back.
Dress: ...the HELL? If you stamped "IDAHO RUSSET" on it you could sell her for $2.99 in the produce section.
Wrists: A tip: Wearing more bracelets than you have brain cells is a bad thing, m'kay?
Feet: Wooden heels? Never okay. Even if you're dutch. Which you aren't.
I think she looked better as a Fly Girl on In Living Color. And that is saying something.
She's really putting the "ug" in fug with this get-up.
I've been convinced that she's pregnant for quite some time - ever since that "mystery illness" that prevented her from flying. She's been wearing a lot - A LOT - of billowy, drapy clothes lately. Something's afoot.
On my computer scren that dress looks like it could be suede. She must be turning into some kind of earth-worshipping boho mom. I can imagine her when she's 50, with her grayhair in nasty dreads decorated with wooden beads, smoking up with her grown-up kid sitting on floor cushions up in her treehouse.
Heather and Jessica!
How could you pass up the QUADRABOOB?
See exhibit A: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050307/482/tok11503071215
I just don't understand. Is she carying most of her babay weight in her knee caps.
The saying that someone 'could wear a potato sack and *still* look good' usually implies that, well, they look good regardless of what they wear. Not to state the obvious, but that saying clearly does not apply in this case.
Wow, that is just *awful*! Those boots look like something my older sis wore back in Germany...in the '70s.
The hair and large burlap sack just continue to fuel my wonder as to why this woman is famous.
*singing to myself* "the hills are alive, with the sound of music"
oh, man...WOOF
I dunno, the link Brit left had a slideshow beside it that was from her Today show performance and she was baring belly. Not much to see there- so I don't think she's knocked up.
So if she's not fallen pregant, what the hell is she doing wearing this foolishness? At a guess, her publicist is seeing good results from the amount of the press coverage the "is she or isn't she" speculation- but having learned from the Bennifer debaucle, she's just standing back and letting the press frenzy, without comment one way or the other.
Ah yes, famewhore in withdrawal ... "LOOKIT ME LOOKIT! AHMAHT BE PREGNINT!"
Yes. Someone remind me why this no-talent COCKSUCKER is famous? ... oh, wait, guess I just answered that question.
Maybe she's joining a bus-and-truck of "The Lion King" and is sporting the Afro-ethnic look in order to get into character. Wait. On second thought, she doesn't have nearly enough talent to appear in "The Lion King." Sorry, my bad.
(okay, she could MAYBE hack it as one of the ladies who walk slowly across the stage very slowly wearing savvanah grass on their heads)
Oof. I'm thinking early Van Gough "The Potato Eaters".
If they'd had weird boots and big circle earrings.
I'm going to agree with "The Lion King" above but only because she looks like the back end of an animal costume.
Pregnant or no, there's no excuse for this. Stella McCartney, whose clothes J.Lo has worn in the past, makes plenty of wonderful billowy chiffon dresses that are perfect for maternity wear. (Gwyneth wore them while 7/8 months pregnant, I think.) Dior is currently doing lots of empire waists. This, on the other hand... yikes. Just yikes.
From the link above, you can see the front of the dress better.
If I did that to my boobs, they would kick my ass and leave town. That sh** has got to hurt!!!
Bad wardrobe choice Jen :)
psh bitches dont mess with me
After seeing the link that Brit posted, with the slideshow showing JLo a few days ago baring her midriff, I have to agree with SlutNanny... I don't think she's pregnant, she just wants everyone to THINK she's pregnant.
My boobs are screaming in commiseration with hers, thought. Eeyouch.
So THAT'S where my burlap sack went. Damn you, Jennifer, damn you and your entire clan!
P.S. Nice unfinished boots.
P.P.S. Why the hell are there so many bracelets on her right arm? Please, can someone explain this to me?!?
Who else saw the episode of "I Love Lucy" where Ricky and Fred made fake "designer dresses" out of burlap sacks instead of giving Lucy and Ethel the cash to buy them?
Do you think Marc saw that episode and decided to try his hand?
And this whole "J Ho" "I'm pregnant/I'm not pregnant" PR crap is getting SO old.
wait...wait...the news item Brit linked to reveals she is plugging 'Shall We Dance?'. Clearly she's got the current romcom nonsense muddled up with 'The King And I' and asked her stylist for a big billowy skirt a la Deborah Kerr.
SO HOTT. Especially because we can see her (too short) slip through the dirty old smoke stained curtain liner of a "dress." HOTT.
This really isn't flattering in the least.
Holy Spuds, Batman. I think she's smuggling the ten pounds of potatoes that came in her sack--erm--I mean dress. They're obviously resting on her ass. I bet JLo's just *dying* for the bustle to come back into style.
From Home Girl to Home Fries.
Her legs look about four inches long. And what's with all the bangles? Is this bitch about to go play ring toss or something?
Mira's right...her stomach was fuh-lat last week.
Not Lion King but Pocahontas, and she's wearing a teepee.
It seems that her stylist is mad at her. And her hairdresser. And now me. Why?????
I bet she killed that deer all by herself. Nobody fucks with Jenny from the Block.
Neck up: Heidi
Collar to waist: Erykah Badu
Waist to knees: Bag lady
Knees down: Mary J. Blige.
i've said it before and i'll say it again: she should have the vogue sittings editor who did the spread with her last month on retainer. she's trying to change her "image" so that instead of jlo (think: puerto rican trash), she is now jennifer (think: blue blooded aristocrat). why won't she just be jenny from the block? this identity crisis has escalated to red alert.
btw, good burn, anon.
She was obviously caughtby a photographer, mid-walk, as she attempted to gracefully hide the fact that Marc Anthony's head was up her ass.
deeply traumatized by the ubiquity of the fug I was forced to flee GFY seeking just a bit of beauty somewhere, anywhere, and found a wonderful thing . . . pics of Ewan McGregor at the Robots premiere on http://www.dailyceleb.com/home/.
now, fully fortified, I can return to ridiculing the rich and famous . . .
I wonder when we will see her in this http://www.pammyland.com/2005/03/fashion-weak-part-ii.html
Nope, not preggo. Not with those tiny boobies. Just plain fug, which her colossal ego thinks is "fashion."
Between the hair and the dress, it's as if Jabba the Hutt and Princess Leia had some bizarre love child. Help her, Obi Wan Kenobe, you're her only hope...
She's just Jenny from the Block
Use to suck a little, now she sucks a lot.
HAHA.
I'm sorry that was mean, but it rhymed.
If Ashley Starlet lost her legs, Jennifer Overexposure lost her midriff.
Is that someone's outfit from the first Project Runway challenge?
Not pregnant? Well, just plain fat then. Look at those flabby drumstick arms.
Grocery Chic is never a good idea. J-Lo, as always, takes fug to a new level.
has anyone else noticed the way her butt seems to almost drag the floor in this picture? its so...low.
...and the case of Encyclopedia Brown and the missing burlap sack was solved.
Bwahahaha! So much snark, so little time to laugh my ass off! Y'all are a hoot -- thanks for brightening up my day.
My name describes what J-Ho has in this picture.
hey morons. if you look at getty images the pics from 4 days ago show her belly flatter than god knows what.http://editorial.gettyimages.com/source/search/FrameSet.aspx?s=ImagesSearchState|0|0|30|0|0|0|1|||0|0|0|0|0|0|0|0|7|jennifer+lopez|0|0|0|0&p=7
She's wearing my parents' old shower curtain!
J-Lo should have won an Oscar for 'Jersey Girl'!!
It was a brilliant acting achievement to be bumped off before the opening credits roll.
Maybe Oscar will smarten up and award her next year.
If she makes Anaconda III-'The Serpent in Ben's Pants' then she will be an Oscar shoo-in.
Oh, Ewan McGregor looks good in those pics. Total droolfest 8-)
But the Jennifers dress looks too small around brests and too big elsewhere, very unflattering. Plus its fugly as hell. Her ass looks fugly too.
Well, they may be morons (and I suspect you're a hardcore fan, Hugh Jass), but that still doesn't mean the ho has any style at all. Hell, I've seen one of her concert videoa and her costumes ON STAGE are as bad as the clothes she CHOOSES to wear. Neither she nor her stylist has any sense of how to dress.
Um, ew. I have a very similar figure to J Lo (small waist and larger booty) and the first rule of a figure like that is: Don't wear whatever the hell it is she's wearing! Good Lord, you could hide a family of nomads under that tent of a skirt.
Show off the waist honey! The WAIST!
Jen is beautiful in anything she wears. She *could* wear a hefty garbage bag and still be gorgeous.
potato sack? or hides from a prairie full of cattle?
http://luckycrackers.blogspot.com/
She looks beautiful despite the dress. She's not fug though. Stupid bitches.
It seems that J-Lo is the Goddess of the Trolls. Fortunately her outfit is well-suited for such a title.
It seems that J-Lo is the Goddess of the Trolls. Fortunately her outfit is well-suited for such a title.
These aren't J-Ho trolls posting, it's Marc Anthony posting under multiple handles.
aye aye aye mi amigos. she's such an attention whore and her ass blocks my sun. so pale... so weak. help. me.
Darlings, it's not a tent OR a potato sack or a shower curtain. You need to watch more Discovery Channel. It's clearly a yurt.
Did someone put out some troll fertilizer? They seem to be sprouting everywhere, much like the spawn of Cletus.
re; "She's just Jenny from the Block
Use to suck a little, now she sucks a lot."
Dangerlad
Or
I'm just Jenny from the Block
Used to ride Ol' Ben, now it's Anthony's Jock.
I wonder how much something like that cost? I just read this and thought I would share it with J-Lo's fashion critic's
http://www.pammyland.com/2005/03/true-cost-of-j-los-fur-fetish.html AMAZING.
I wonder how much something like that cost? I just read this and thought I would share it with J-Lo's fashion critic's
http://www.pammyland.com/2005/03/true-cost-of-j-los-fur-fetish.html AMAZING.
I wonder how much something like that cost? I just read this and thought I would share it with J-Lo's fashion critic's
http://www.pammyland.com/2005/03/true-cost-of-j-los-fur-fetish.html AMAZING.
I wonder how much something like that cost? I just read this and thought I would share it with J-Lo's fashion critic's
http://www.pammyland.com (the post about J-lo) AMAZING.
Okay, I clicked on that link for the Ewan pics and GOOD GOD! What happened to Drew Carey? I mean, he was never hot or anything but he caught some nasty bloat from someone. He is SEVERE on that bloat watch terror level chart! And he apparently fell in to a vat of bleach, too. How tragic.
Yeah, who entered Drew Carey in the "Nick Nolte Lookalike Contest"? Because that's just sad.
There's nothing like turning up at the premiere of your movie dressed like a homeless person. PURE CAREER DYNAMITE!
Just because you can, Jennifer, doesn't mean you should.
Also, "yurt!" It's never not funny. But it's also not evening wear.
When we were kids, our parents used to buy in bulk to save money. They'd keep a huge sack of potatoes in the garage,and when it was time for fries or whatever, taters, one of us kids would be sent to get some taters. It didn't happen every time, but at some point, it was a guarantee that you would reach in the bag to get a few spuds, and pull out a hideous potato bug. Imagine yourself as an innocent 8 year old girl just trying to get your carb on,and in your hand is a squirming,hissing,pus yellow miniature version of the egg-laying bitch mother in the movie sequel "Aliens". Wouldn't you crap your pants? I nearly did seeing J Lo's Sack of shitake outfit. Thanks for the recovered memories, Fly Girl. And as an added bonus, the wooden bracelets and heels would make a godawful racket as well, so the blind could enjoy the fug too.
Ahem. I cannot believe that no one mentioned her FOREHEAD.
Especially in the yahoo-linked pics. It's VERY smooth.
Can we say BOTOX???
Blackirish - you are my hero. Can't say anymore. Laughing too hard.
Isn't that a Wendy Pepper original?
"aye aye aye mi amigos. she's such an attention whore and her ass blocks my sun. so pale... so weak. help. me."
Hah hah hah hah hah! We feel your pain, little one.
If this is her idea of looking like an eclectic, creative fashion designer, it's a total bust. Take in a few runway shows of GOOD designers, honey, and try again.
Olivia Newton John wore those very boots in XANADU -- when she wasn't wearing her rollerskates -- and that caftan was worn by several villains in the second installment of INDIANA JONES.
she's starting to look like Mary Tyler Moore in the Quadraboob picture. Very scary.
http://luckycrackers.blogspot.com/
Dawned on me late last night. If Jabba the Hutt had gotten Princess Leia pregnant in Return of the Jedi, this is what their hybrid spawn would have come out looking like.
her backend keeps on getting bigger by the day. soon she'll have a booty like "milkshake" girl... if you know what I mean.
Her ass still looks big
I'm still, I'm still Jenny sucking coks
Used to blow a little now I blow a lot
No matter who I shag , I know where I come from
don't be fool by the herpes that I got
why is anybody surprised? she's a tacky ho.