[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]
Hi y'all! It is, like, so exciting to be at an event on my OWN, for once, without Britney -- she's taking the dogs to Mystic Tan -- or my mama, who's at home reading the pre-nup over and over again. She hasn't put that thing down in months! Something about "ratfaced pimpbag"...? Maybe? Is that by Louis Vuitton? I don't know! But she loves purses, so maybe. Mama doesn't tell me anything, mostly because she's always off in the corner rocking back and forth and moaning, and when I try to get her to watch my show, Zoey 101, she just mutters the words "chastity belt" and then starts to cry while she chants something about dirty moneygrubbing pig-ignorance. Maybe she doesn't like my manager?
Anyway, I did get some styling tips from Britney, though, before I came. Like my hair. She told me to dye it brown because then you don't have to wash it as often, and that way, you can not bother with the shower until you can smell yourself without even having to stick your nose in your armpit. That's her system. She really loves the environment, and is trying to save water, and stuff. Then she helped me add the wrinkles to my shirt and pants, because ironing is so last millennium. When she stepped all over my pants it left them with this really cool uneven-hem look, which I love. And she told me not to worry about standing up straight, because only boring people do that, and anyway, if you slouch then you're closer to, like, the fans, and stuff.
And then she let me borrow this jacket she made out of one of the baby blankets she's stocked up on. Kevin ripped it up one night before he disappeared for Las Vegas again, so while Brit was cleansing her system with vodka -- she told me that disinfects your organs better than one of those colonic thingies -- she turned the blanket into a little coat for BitBit, but it didn't fit. So I get it.
She's going to be the best mom! Especially because she doesn't sit alone in corners rocking back and forth.
Man that is some nasty fug. It maximizes width and minimizes height. But she still looks waaaaaay better than her unwashed VD-ridden big sister.
The three girls in the back are totally snarking on her too.
Stupid outfit, but she looks like a goddess compared to Mrs. Fugerline.
The little shrug jacket over the vintage tee over gauchos is nightmarish, though.
I actually think that minus the shrug thing, it's a cute outfit.
The shoes! What is with the SHOES?! Why do they almost seem to be curling up? And staring at me?
She looks a little... gormless. But you do see people dressed like this and worse walking around every day (or at least, they do here) - take off the shrug and change the length of the trousers, and it's not really that bad :)
Ew. Just. Ew. Make her go away...Sister duos are never good, because one sister is always much, much worse than the other, and Jamie just might over shadow her sister in fugliness. Ickers.
The Salvation Army called; they want their poster girl back.
From the chest up, she's Grandma. From chest to knees, she's a really weird surfer edition of Avril Lavigne. From knees to the tips of her pointy feet, she's the Shoe Assassin.
Awwww! she's following in her big sis's footsteps of fug. The hair dyed brown to make her look smarter. The mismatched clothes, giving the false impression that she can look totally cute without even trying. The cut-up shirt with the cutesy slogan to let y'all know she has a sense of humour too. Which, she better, because she's the joke. It's only a matter of time before she's walking around with her thong hanging out of her skirt and zit cream on her face.
"Reading the pre-nup over and over" and "in the corner rocking back and forth moaning". . . that is genius.
Yes indeed, the snark is back!
Oh, and the girl? Gloriously horrible.
Oooh and something else... guess what I just noticed? That silly slogan shirt is from Mandy Moore's collection. She's totally supporting her sister's competition! Hahaha...
Wee Jaimie Lynne is blessed by the fact that her sister set the bar so very, very low for her. If she bathes regularly, can write her own name, and eventually marries someone with a triple-digit IQ, Jaimie will be the family high achiever.
I'm just wondering why she isn't named "Ashley", like all the other useless kid sisters.
Hm.. you know what this outfit needs? A tiny orange belt.
Oh.
So I learned that in the military alphabet 'W'(for White) is Whiskey; and 'T' (for Trash) is Tango. So, Whiskey Tango is my new word for White Trash 'cause that's just funny and also sounds like a dance Jamie-Lynn's (gosh, is that hyphenated, or no?) raunchy big sis would do after her raunchier husband surprises her by coming home early from a spontaneous trip to see one of his baby mommas.
This outfit - (shrug + high heels)+ Chucks = appropriate attire for 14 yr. old girl.
Damn I feel so sorry for her! She's the better looking Spears, I'll give her that, albeit it not being much of a compliment. She wakes up every day knowing she can only lurk in the shadow of her pizza-faced sister until her dying day. Which is why I find her body language kind of appropriate. It says "I don't know what to do with my limp arms since Sis isn't here to steal the spotlight" and "my plastic smile will detract attention away from my Giving-Up-On-Life posture".
Has anyone seen the pic on pagesixsixsix of Madonna wearing some kind of weird top hat thing. Fug that outfit!
Is that a Slinky I spy on her wrist? Retro chic.
That picture frightens me. It seems that Mammy and Pappy Spears didn't have two daughters, they just had one and then cloned her. Maybe this one will manage to rebel and go to high school or something.
why do celebrities ALWAYS wear things that dont match!?
Good Jesus, does this really have to happen TWICE?
Dear non-fans,
It really makes me sad when I see jealously like this. Everyone that is saying this thing really needs to look inside themselves and ask themselves, Why am I being jealous? Whats wrong with me?
Ya'll need to get real. I know I did, and I have never been realer. Jamie is like my own child, (and I'm from Kentwood so thats like totally possible), it makes me so sad to like hear people being uneducated about things they don't understand. Putting other people down to make yourself feel better is stupid. So next time you go to a site like this remember that other people, like they have feelings, and mabey your just being mean and jealous. Another thing my mom is the best mom ever. we are like BFF all the way, she even picks up smokes and 40's for me and my hubby! (iknow how cute) leave her alone.
Britney
(by the way this is the second best letter I have ever written)
Actually for her age I think she's cute, at least we aren't staring at her thong! Lose the big white fake nails and she's a cute normal teenager. A great improvement on her sister. Hopefully she'll stay clean and fresh. Mom...back off!
Let's talk about the 3 chicks in the background. The girl in the pink? She is being devoured by the HUGE friggin hair! It's like cousin It!
Uchhh!
Just what we need,
another refugee from Tragicistan.
Fuglie,
Baby,
the poor box is NOT a tiny self service boutique.
Will somebody school this girl? PLEASE.
Notice there's always a bitchy thin chick standing behind the fugled superstah just giving them the stank eye. It never fails.
See the Paula Fugdul pic.
It's cute when people get blatantly angry at celebrities just for being in their space.
Just to be clear:
the above letter does not reflect the actual thoughts or feelings of Mrs. Spears and is only meant as a parody. In no way is it to be construed as fact. Think of it as a "false Tabloid"
Ya'll
Ah, I see neckless-ness runs in the family. Poor li'l trailer trash.
She looks just like Ashlee Simpson; she'd be a carbon copy if they dyed her hair black and gave her some black tights and a striped Waldo turtleneck to put on beneath the t-shirt.
You guys can trash the gal all you want, but you have to give the girl props for 1) keeping her adolescent body covered with age appropriate clothing, and 2) Bathing.
Well, it's not my favorite outfit, but at least she looks like she's taken a shower this week and isn't walking around barefoot munching on cheetos and downing Red Bull.
I'm just so happy that the Fug is back... now I can go on...excellent!
Poor Jamie: olny 14 and already a fashion victim. Her boobs are still plain but she already tries to show off some cleavage... but we gotta give her props thoughs cuz unlike her old sister:
1) she looks good
2) she looks clean
3) she seems to be mentally healthy...for now
Let's just hop she learned from Brit's mistakes and won't marry some poor average joe in Vegas or be impregnated by some skinny broke dude...
Let's not even contemplate why her belt is off-kilter. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it wasn't intentional (cuz lookin lyke u dont care iz kewl), and instead happened when she was fighting off an unwanted sexual advance from her new bro-in-law.
Have you noticed that all those average girls "living in the shadow" of their platinum blond supertar sisters have the same type of name rhyming with "i": Jamie, Ashlee, Nikki (Hilton), Haylie (Duff) Ali (Lohan)....weird huh?
It's a sad day when we have to give bonus points for bathing and non-visible gentalia.
She's got the neck of a linebacker (it's probably just like that due to her simian like posture, though).
As the daughter of an entirely Argentinean family, I want to take this opportunity to state that these so-called "Goucho Pants" do not actually look like real Gaucho Pants, which actually have some flair and use in the world (when worn by GAUCHOS). I'd also like to state that this fashion phenomenon is the biggest insult to Argentina since [insert entirely too obvious Evita joke here].
Those are not Gaucho pants. Those are double-wide pants.
It's the trailer blood in her veins.
"Heh. Heh. Heh Heh. I so just stole these pants from Ashlee, right after I woke up and left the tanning salon. On the way here, I found this belt on the street and was all 'Oh my Gaaawd, wouldn't this look cute!?' and just put it on. I can do that you know, because my sister is Britney Spears, ok, and I myself am also a ginormous star.....on the Disney Channel, even though I act like a marionette and terrible clone of Lizzie McGuire on 'Zoey 101', which, I know, is a stupid, stupid name and has a dull, stupid premise... Anyway aren't I just the cutest!?"
Truly, a valid case for nudists. This girl should really consider Garanimals. Or their latter-day counterpart, Gap-animals. Shit, the shorts are confusing me because I'm drunk. They are really something that I haven't seen since my 1990 field trip to the science fair. My homeroom teacher, Mrs. Williams would be proud. And yeah...the shoes. Like a weapon with a hobo's beach ensemble. Hideous.
Omigod, the man-pris are becoming the family uniform. Don't these people know how to buy pants with hems?
Madprops to Gretchen (for almost making me pee myself)and Crankybiscuit for beating me to the punch. We are really in deep shit when being clean (at least on the surface) and appropriately (albeit badly)clothed is the exception and not the rule.
My favorite part of this pic are the mean girls in the back. They are the epoch of snark. They look so full of rage that it's sort of cool, even though the one in pink is probably just in a bad mood because her hair blew up with all the humidity. And that skinny girl looks super pissed that Jamie Lynn was ever born. But she's hot, and that cardigan is really cute.
Compared to her sister, Jamie-Lynn looks like she just came from a Ralph Lauren sample sale. Sure, the pants are cut a little weird, and I don't like that shrug thing. But she's fully covered, and clean, so she's two points up on Britney.
Hey, come on. She is till young and doesn't know better when it comes to putting her clothes on.
Ummm...hey guys? Is that a green jeweled clip on earring on her pants where her button should be or is it a trick of the light?
Wow. I realize this is an event for kids, but is it really a good idea to copy Robin Williams' genie ensemble from Aladdin?
Genie vest...check
Genie pants...check
Genie shoes...check
Genie arm cuff...check
Magic carpet...check
All that's missing is the lamp, and I'll wager it's in the large and fugly black bag of the handler hovering behind her.
Princess Ja-mie, fugulous she, Jamie of Kentwood.
Good Lord.
When will celebs get a clue?? Wearing 20 different clothing items does not make you look like you don't care. It makes you look like you care SO much that you feel the need to conceal this pointless concern with multiple layers of ugly, mismatched clothing. I for one am not so easily mislead. Dressing like you don't care means putting on jeans, a tank top, and flip flops, which would be much less fugly than THIS fashion trainwreck. Got that, you Ashlee Simpson wannabe?? Next time you wanna look like you don't care: jeans, tank top, and flip flops, not vest that looks like it belongs to a newborn, pants that look like they belong to an old man, or pointy shoes that look like they belong to the Wicked Witch from "The Wizard of Oz"!!
I like her now, but I'm not sure how long the 'clean' look will last on her; I mean, come on, Britney started off really covered (at least 80%) and now that's gone the other way (20%).
Sooner of later, the hem of those pants is going to ride higher, and then the neckline and hem of her shirts will be going down and up silmultaneously, showing:
a) enhanced cleavage
b) pierced navel
It's a standard op procedure for these Hollywood young things. Eventually.
She looks like she is stinky.
she's a 14 year old girl, geez, why don't you pick on someone who should actually be accountable for what they wear.
so i would wear this outfit. with the braclets and high heels and orange belt. i'd probably add a tacky necklace or ten. of course, I intentionally dress like a freak for my own laughing pleasure.
cool uneven-hem look = camel toe
"So I learned that in the military alphabet 'W'(for White) is Whiskey; and 'T' (for Trash) is Tango."
The phrase "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" gets used a lot on the internets, standing for "what the fuck?", which also works here.
wow...and to think i was hoping that Jamie Lynn would actually have a better fashion sense than her sister...
happy birthday, jaimee lyne
J-L: Heeeeeyyyyyy Brit-nay!
B: Heeeeeyyyyyy Little Skanster!
J-L: Can I hayve a cig-rette?
B: Yer not 15 yet. Ay deedn't start smokin' til' I were 15
J-L: Weeelll, theyen, can I hayve yer birth contrawl peeeels since yer fayat ayass don't need 'em no more?
B: Awright, Little Skanster. Yew cain't git knocked-up 'til yer 17 - jest wooodn't B right
J-L: Ayam gonna git MawMaw and Pappy to tayke me to the sergen. Ayam riddy fer sum titties
B: Thayat's my Little Skankster!
M and Thlayli, we just need to put it all together. For the Spears clan, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot obviously means White Trash Fug.
What is the deal with this family? They're the most bog-ordinary looking creatures I think I've ever seen. And er, somewhat short-changed in the talent department as well.
Pugly, your post just made my morning! Thanx Y'all!
Ahem. This lady is... 14?!?! I'm really not trying to be mean here, but I coulda swore she was at least 29. And is anyone else disturbed by the fact that her belly button is visible through her t-shirt? I mean, I've heard of baby fat, but this is a bona fide beer gut the girl got going on. And this whole outfit is just... Odd... I get the whole non-comformist-Chloe Fugigne look and even the skanky ho Bai Ling travesty makes sense in that "I have sex for money and/or food stamps" kind of way. But this? What is it? Why? Would someone please, please explain what on earth is going on here?
Um....did anyone else notice that it's Mama Spears, the Fug-lynn herself, in the background ogling Jamie-lynn? In Mariah's cast off pink fugtrocious get up.
Hm... not a fan of the gauchos... or the shoes... or belt... or shrug. If she stood up straight kept the shirt put on some jeans and some normal high heels I'd let it go. At least her vagina isn't wagging in the camera a la Brit-Brit...
My favorite has always been the Charlie Foxtrot. The "CF." That's the clusterf*uck. A big mess. Not even a Monet. Doesn't even look good from far away. Which is exactly what Glittericious Carey prances around in.
no, that isn't a beer gut - it's bad posture. if she were standing up even a little straighter, her teen belly (lest we forget, she's FOURTEEN) would disappear.
unlike most outfits on gofugyourself, this one could have been saved. get rid of the vest, replace the nasty gauchos with jeans, and it would have at least merited not being fugged.
yes, that is mammy spears standing in the middle in the back wearing the old lady ho-clothes (in the pink). forget j-l, why hasn't anyone mentioned mammy spears' hooker shoes?
she is flanked on either side by what appear to be hillbilly cousins who are taking their first trip to Hollywood, and thought folded up jeans and flip-flops were really "L.A." The one in black looks like a member of Winger. Or is it Warrant?
A return to good old fashioned fug form! Thank you Heather, I've missed the long diatribes detailing every single fugly thing about outfits. Those Spears girls. A lifetime of Fug work ahead of you right there. Yay Go Fug Yourself! You rock!
PS I really enjoyed Go Hug Yourself too, once the shock had worn off and I realised Fug was not gone forever. Only the age-old genius of moving a principal's entire office into the school parking lot tops your April Fools. And when it comes down to it, how can anyone compete with Saved With The Bell?
Top shelf, girls. Top shelf.
Stand up straight, young lady!!
Sorry, I channeled my mother for a minute there...
Are culottes back? Culottes and knickers – those are some styles from my childhood that I would be interested to see again.
You can take the girls out of the trailer park...
when your publicist is doing her best to dress down to not upstage you, and still looks better...
you just might be a redneck!
Folks who think this outfit is salvageable: I beg to differ. Sure, if she removed the freakish little shrug, exchanged the gauchos/manpris for a nice pair of (proper length) jeans and maybe even changed her shoes (although that would be too much to ask, really) she would look kinda cute. But then she would be wearing a totally new outfit with the same t-shirt. Hence, it's not that her outfit is not-so-bad-if, it's just that she is wearing a sorta cute top as part of an otherwise hideous ensemble. This is pure, unadulterated fug, y'all!
She's prettier than her sister, she just needs a better stylist. Maybe Mariah is available?
I'm sure there will be other great outfits on her sisters new show http://www.pammyland.com/2005/04/perfect-plan-for-more-privacy.html
Isn't that one of the shirts Mandy Moore makes?
Oh, it so is!!!!! http://www.mblem.net/
It's the sold out featured item.
it's funny how several people commented on the girls in the back, particularly the one in pink. that's lynne spears herself, the mama!
I actually think that the mother looks hot for her age. She's pushing 50, deep in menopause but she still takes care of herself: tan, hairdo, new clothing...I mean, at least she makes some efforts...maybe she got inspired by the infamous MILF t-shirt her Britney wore once.
Forget Jamie Lynn, Mama Spears Lynne in the back wearing the pink is f*cking hideous. Every pic I have seen of her she is wearing awful plastic 1997 Spice Girl style platform flip flops. Christ no wonder Britney never had a chance. Run Jamie Lynn..................Save yourself!!!
Also Jamie Lynn runs rings around Britney in the looks dept, for starters she doesn't have a massive forehead, her eyes aren't spaced like an alien's and her nose isn't ugly! The Spears clan may just have one looker!
I couldn't find the older pictures of Jamie Lynn, but she was one fugly kid at one time. I wouldn't be surprised if they've already done the plastic surgery spiral on her. She had small, squinty eyes, wore Coke-bottle glasses, had a protruding jaw, and a rather bulbous nose.
All that said, surely Mama Spears, with all the money she made from whoring out her older daughter, could afford to hire a stylist for this one.
But...but what about the HUGS?
You ladies disappoint me.
*buries face in teddy bear & sobs*
"... "ratfaced pimpbag"...? Maybe? Is that by Louis Vuitton? "
Brilliant. Just fuggin' brilliant.
And I jest luvs the trailer trash, too.
Okay, mark this day down but I'm defending a Spears here. Doesn't happen often, probably never again. Maybe because I'm pretty young but I think Jamie looks decent here. Plus I give her credit (or at least her stylist) for making her age appropriate. There is no navel hanging out, no unnecessary cleavage and unlike Britney, appears to have bathed in the recent past. I wouldn't wear the exact outfit but I kind of find the whole thing minus the fake tan refreshing.
I'm also the first to snark on celebs and their odd shapes, but to go off on a 14 year old's body is a bit much. What beer gut? She's not standing up straight and she's 14. She's very thin and probably still has a bit of adolescent baby fat. Give her a break on the body stuff for at least a few more years.
IMO, there were so many worse KCA outfits. Where's Hilary Duff? Somebody apparently forgot to tell her you put the bra on before the see through lace shirt. Oh and the fake teeth were a nice touch.
TEARS OF JOY People:
NEW YORK - Pop singer Britney Spears and hubby Kevin Federline have said "I do" to star in a UPN reality series that documents their courtship, engagement and wedding.
Featuring what UPN bills as "exclusive, never-before-seen private home videos" of their "personal love story," the six-episode series is scheduled to premiere later this season. It picks up shortly after the pair met in Los Angeles and headed to Europe on tour, where Federline performed as a backup dancer for Spears.
"I feel that last year the tabloids ran my life," said the Grammy Award-winning singer in commenting on her new series, "and I am really excited about showing my fans what really happened rather than all the stories, which have been misconstrued by journalists in the past."
Sweet baby Jesus in a manger. Britney and Jessica, I'm not sure which I would rather see less. At least Jessica's husband is easy on the eyes.
does anyone else get the idea that Britney only recently learned the word "misconstrued"? She's been using it a lot lately in interviews.
I'll admit that from this angle, Jamie Lynn *does* seems to have nice skin. Especially for a 14 year old. Especially for a Spears.
I can forgive everything on this outfit, even the shrug, even the earrings, even the orange belt, even the slinky bracelet. But not the shoes.
Hey, y'all haters!This here is k-Fed,The Federleezie, also known as Cletus to youse. I just came on here to set y'all straight bout my little sis-in-law, my baby gurl, that sweet little piece of tail-I mean talent, J-Lynn. Y'all some evil bitches to be hating on her. I know she didn't write that letter, cause she dont write that good,on account that her home schooling been kinda hit and miss,y'know? She got this online stuff she's spose to do, but she's busy rehearsing and singin' and taking acting lessons, and that takes up a lot of her time. She did go to this website when she was supposed to be doing her history, and when she saw what you bee- yotches wrote about her, she just burst into tears and axed me to write a little sump'n sump'n to tell y'all to stop hating on her,y'know, cause we close like that. After I finished giving her the nude dance lessons,(don't judge, aint nothing wrong with that,it's to let J.Lynn get in touch with her hot little body, just don't tell brit, or her overprotective moms, yo) cause ya know I'm a choregrapher too(and a better dancer than that wigga wanna be Justin Timberfake) I just had to come on here to tell you all to stop hating. J-Lynn got mad skillz, and she a hot dresser, too. She still got a pretty firm body,unlike my wife, who I still love, but damn,lately Brit, she sho' putting the chunk in the gadunkedunk. But that's a'ight, cause we got this deal, that for every five pounds she gains, I get to bang a stripper. Well, maybe that deal's all in my head,but Brit don't really care as long as I'm giving her big fat helpings of my man chowder, cause she wants my baby, and I do make some pretty babies.(And for Y'all who say my babies look like monchichi-y'all are just haters.) I think she told me she might already be knocked up, but I was on the way to Vegas and and I totally shut that shit out. But,anyway back to Jamie. She could do anything she wants to do, and if I was the one with the talent and cheddar, I'd help her do anything she wanted to do,even if it wasn't show biz. If she wanted to be a teacher, I'd buy her a school. If she wanted to be a cook, I'd buy her a restaurant. If she wanted to be a nurse, I'd buy her a nursery. It's all about the family with me, K-Fed,so you lay off my baby sistie-in-law girl,A'ight? A'ight.Peace out.
I wonder if it's physically possible for her to fug it up any more. And, if I'm not mistaken, is that a cheap hair extension dangling down her left shoulder?
It's like she ran down the aisles at Claire's and grabbed every 10-for-$5 item should could get her hands on. Then, coming from her family background, she promptly shoved them down her pants and "borrowed" them without paying. Maybe Kevin drove the getaway pimpmobile.
Her head and jaw always seem way too big for her body. Combined with the slouching, it kinda makes her look like a football player-turned-tranny trapped in a talentless teenage girl's body.
Oh, to be built like a linebacker. Those poor, poor Spears girls...
Blackirish....although you just made me pee my pants...I love you!
wow i knew that letter from cletus was written by blackirish before i even got to the bottom! she (or possibly he) is really good!
i liked capt fantastic's too
and of course the outfit is ugly but the real fun is the comments ;)
Minus the shoes and the shrug, I think she looks cute. And clean. And covered. Woo-whee! Her mother let her out of the house in that outfit? How'd THAT happen?
NO MORE GAUCHOS EVER!!!!
"From the chest up, she's Grandma. From chest to knees, she's a really weird surfer edition of Avril Lavigne. From knees to the tips of her pointy feet, she's the Shoe Assassin."
Take away the surfer snark (because we so don't deserve blame for this fug), and I completely agree. It appears that Mary-Kate and Jaimie-Lynn have the same gravity-defying pointy shoes. If I'm not mistaken, the low point in Randy Quaid's career has given these girls an opportunity to do commercial work as background elves.
That being said, somewhere Debbie Harry is saying, "Even I didn't look that bad in the 80s!"
And I just googled "mama spears" and dear god, that is her mother in the pink. Damn, I don't even let my mom wear boot cut jeans and you let yours show up dressed like your best friend who you're secretly jealous of because she got boobs first?
Is that Ashlee in th pink in the background. Nah, to well dressed. Speaking of which, what is up with sisters of pop stars not being able to dress themselves? Jamie-Lynn, Ashlee, Haylie Duff. Thank goodness Cristina doesn't have a sister.
Blackirish. Pure. Genius.
Blackirish...You kill me!
That is the funniest damn thing I've read today. I just spit up a mouthful of diet soda and nearly ruptured myself trying to keep from laughing out loud (I'm at work).
Now 'scuse me while I go get some paper towels to wipe off my keyboard.
I'm pretty sure I tried on that outfit during dress-up time in nursery school. Especially those shoes. I probably would have completed the ensemble with leg-warmers, but who the hell knows... I was four years old.
love,
Cordelia
I propose that for every sibling/relative in the entertainment industry that we DON'T want foisted upon us (see: Duff, Rivers, Simpson, and above), they should also provide us with a celebrity relative we wouldn't MIND seeing more of. Where is, for example, a hot brother or cousin of Brad Pitt's? Or Jude Law's long-lost second-cousin-once-removed who bears a striking resemblence to him? As a hilarious movie villain once said "Throw me a BONE, people."
She does appear better groomed than Brit-brit. However, the shoes remind me of dressing up in my mom's pumps at age 6. Just wrong, particularly with the gauchos.
And one last note: Heather and Jessica should hire you, BlackIrish.
Well, she looks like shit, but she's a sight better than her sister.
y'all, you know what's really wrong with jamie lynn? britney was busy and so was her stylist so she called mischa. poor child.
In my humble opinion...the best fugs are truly Fugerline related. Every one of them has made me laugh until I cry and have an uncontrollable urge to pee.
WAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH U ALL? HOW RUDE AND HORRIBLE IS IT TO PUT UP THIS SHIT EBOUT JAMIE LYNN AND THEN WRITE ALL THESE FUCKIN RUDE COMMENTS ABOUT HER. HOW DARE YOU, DONT YOU GET IT ALOT OF PEOPLE GET INSULTED JUST BY READING AND LOOKING AT WAT YOU WRITE AND THE PICTURES YOU PUT UP ABOUT HER. YOU GET ALL THIS HATE MAIL AND SHIT HALF OF IT IS ABOUT HOW WRONG IT IS TO WRITE THIS SHIT ABOUT BRITNEY AND YOU JUST THINK ITS HILERIOUS. WELL ITS NOT. HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WENT INTO A WEBSITE AND SAW ALL THIS MAD SHIT ABOUT YOU. IT WOULD FUCKING CRUSH YOU. JUST LIKE IT WOULD WITH ANYONE ELSE. YOU'RE SUCH SELFISH BITCHES. YOU'VE NEVER MET JAMIE LYNN OR BRITNEY, YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THERE LIKE. YOU SHOUDN'T JUDGE. YOU DONT EVEN KNOW THEM. YOU MUST BE REALLY INSECURE FAG HAGS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO INSULT GIRLS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. AND WITH YOUR STUPID ACCUSATIONS- THEIR ALL WRONG. CAUSE WE'RE KIDS,DUH!!!! WE DRESS LIEK KIDS!!!!!!AND WE ARE TRUE FANS OF BRITNEY AND JAMIE LYNN AND ALWAYS WILL BE!!
I *heart* BlackIrish!!
"It's a sad day when we have to give bonus points for bathing and non-visible gentalia."
I visit this site religiously, as it is the most clever thing I have ever come across, but I have never posted, until now...........but I had to because this quote is pure gold. And so sums up the times we are living in now. Excellent and a big fatty WORD.
PS: This site is amazing, love it to pieces, and keep up the Go Hug Yourself hilarity as well from time to time, if you can!! Nothing is better than insult disguised at praise, dripping with distain.
"my babies look like monchichi"- ROTFLOL!!!!! That was pure brilliance, Blackirish!
Oh and Tiffani- learn how to spell first because you start spewing, little girl. I'm not surprised that someone like you would have an email address that starts with "CaREbEAR". And that your name is Tiffani. With an "i".
"No one was home to do laundry, so like I took the rug that fits around the toilet and made me a cool lil' vest."
Yo yo yo, BlackIrish. You deserve some sort of royal title. At least a Marquessa or Duchess. And Tif'ni hun, get a dickshunairy.
Pre-pubescent halfling skank.
Her publicist or whoever on the left in the background, she has no feet. Is she even wearing shoes? The mom looks like Kelly Osbourne. And girl looks like a boy.
I'm not entirely sure how someone gets it in their head that it is appropriate to wear a heeled dress shoe, a cheap Urban Outfitters belt, a non-cheap faux thrift store shirt, flared knee pants, and a teeny tiny yellow sweaterlet all in one outfit. How does this outfit come together? How?
Dear Tiffan"i"
When celebrities make $50,000,000 a year...I don't expect to see them wearing clothes that they borrowed from the carnies who stopped by LA the week before. I mean honestly, put forth a little effort. I manage to look better than them on a daily basis and I'm a college student who works 30 hours a week.
I expect washed hair, makeup, and SHOES (Britney...you know better). So before you run your mouth defending these poor celebrities, just remember...they wipe their asses with more money than you'll see in a year. and you sure can't tell by the way they dress...so GET OVER YOURSELF.
Tiffani get a sense of humour.
"YOU JUST THINK ITS HILERIOUS."
No, we don't. We think it's hilarious.
Is that Britney one one side of Mama Spears? Is it Eva Longoria on the other?
Blackirish is my hero! That said, however, some genius can be uninentional and so I must give even bigger props to the lovely Tiffani! That little missive (and thank you so for the capitalization, dearie, that is so thoughtful! Most of us elderly ladies on this site have bad vision so the big letters really make a difference) was pure comedic gold. I laughed, I cried... I swore that if I ever have a child, she shall never watch MTV.
Black Irish,
You're like that Guinness commercial:
Brilliant!
I'm not sure who thought that bringing back gauchos was a good idea, but it was clearly someone who was not alive and well in the 70s. Make them go away. Forever. Please.
And Tiffani, honey, get off the internet and get into an English class STAT.
Babies that look like monchichi? Way too good.
It looks like she got caught in a shrinkydink oven!
Tiffany-speak analyzed:
WAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH U ALL?
I can't spell but that is okay because my brother thinks I am hot - and that is perfectly legal where I am from.
HOW RUDE AND HORRIBLE IS IT TO PUT UP THIS SHIT EBOUT JAMIE LYNN AND THEN WRITE ALL THESE FUCKIN RUDE COMMENTS ABOUT HER.
I learned to spell the word "Rude" today. See? I can use it over and over.
HOW DARE YOU, DONT YOU GET IT ALOT OF PEOPLE GET INSULTED JUST BY READING AND LOOKING AT WAT YOU WRITE AND THE PICTURES YOU PUT UP ABOUT HER.
Improper punctuation? Nah - I call it artistic freedom. By the way - I am trying to see how long my sentences can be before I use a period.
(By the way Tiffers -- it's A LOT, not alot.)
YOU GET ALL THIS HATE MAIL AND SHIT HALF OF IT IS ABOUT HOW WRONG IT IS TO WRITE THIS SHIT ABOUT BRITNEY AND YOU JUST THINK ITS HILERIOUS.
(I'll simply put one word: Hilarious...)
WELL ITS NOT.
(Yes. Yes it is. Especially when the "hate mail" is a work of pure Jeenyus. Lyk yers.)
HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WENT INTO A WEBSITE AND SAW ALL THIS MAD SHIT ABOUT YOU.
Maybe one day Britney will read this and she'll remember me and we can be friends and she will invite me over... By the way - notice my use of the word "shit" - my mom is not around so I can type "shit" all I want... Shit shit shit.
IT WOULD FUCKING CRUSH YOU. JUST LIKE IT WOULD WITH ANYONE ELSE. YOU'RE SUCH SELFISH BITCHES. YOU'VE NEVER MET JAMIE LYNN OR BRITNEY, YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THERE LIKE. YOU SHOUDN'T JUDGE.
(violins)
YOU DONT EVEN KNOW THEM. YOU MUST BE REALLY INSECURE FAG HAGS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO INSULT GIRLS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
(And your insulting people you don't know makes you... A hypocrite... Don't worry - just sound it out...)
AND WITH YOUR STUPID ACCUSATIONS- THEIR ALL WRONG. CAUSE WE'RE KIDS,DUH!!!! WE DRESS LIEK KIDS!!!!!!AND WE ARE TRUE FANS OF BRITNEY AND JAMIE LYNN AND ALWAYS WILL BE!!
(You are a kid? I would have never guessed... I am a kid too and I can spell. I can also dress myself and leave the house while NOT looking like I did it in the dark. I mean seriously - if you have a mirror - use it.)
Ok, I know I'm not alone in my love for BlackIrish, but surely I can't be the only one who read Tiffani's post and thought, "Oh my GOSH! Which of the Spears is lurking here? Is it Brit? JL? MommieDearest?" Stunning.
Emma, I love you. You're absolutely brilliant.
Tiffani (how cute; it's with an "i")... go away, no one here likes you, and you're probably very ugly.
Gack!~ Elaine, I had the exact same thought!
And yes, BlackIrish is my hero. People in other cubicles are standing up so that they can stare at me and shoot me confused looks more effectively.
Tiffan"i",
If you don't like it, don't look at/read it!! 'Kay?!!
Why are you on this site anyway?
Come on!! She's just a kid. Let's see some pics of some of ya'll at her age. Scary, yes? There are plenty of adult stars to deride and humiliate. Are ya'll seriously taking shots at a preteen? Pretty low, pretty damn low.
"WAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH U ALL? HOW RUDE AND HORRIBLE IS IT TO PUT UP THIS SHIT EBOUT JAMIE LYNN AND THEN WRITE ALL THESE FUCKIN RUDE COMMENTS ABOUT HER. HOW DARE YOU, DONT YOU GET IT ALOT OF PEOPLE GET INSULTED JUST BY READING AND LOOKING AT WAT YOU WRITE AND THE PICTURES YOU PUT UP ABOUT HER. YOU GET ALL THIS HATE MAIL AND SHIT HALF OF IT IS ABOUT HOW WRONG IT IS TO WRITE THIS SHIT ABOUT BRITNEY AND YOU JUST THINK ITS HILERIOUS. WELL ITS NOT. HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WENT INTO A WEBSITE AND SAW ALL THIS MAD SHIT ABOUT YOU. IT WOULD FUCKING CRUSH YOU. JUST LIKE IT WOULD WITH ANYONE ELSE. YOU'RE SUCH SELFISH BITCHES. YOU'VE NEVER MET JAMIE LYNN OR BRITNEY, YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THERE LIKE. YOU SHOUDN'T JUDGE. YOU DONT EVEN KNOW THEM. YOU MUST BE REALLY INSECURE FAG HAGS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO INSULT GIRLS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. AND WITH YOUR STUPID ACCUSATIONS- THEIR ALL WRONG. CAUSE WE'RE KIDS,DUH!!!! WE DRESS LIEK KIDS!!!!!!AND WE ARE TRUE FANS OF BRITNEY AND JAMIE LYNN AND ALWAYS WILL BE!!"
I feel as though you used Fag Hag as an insult, I don't approve of that.
I am a fag and ladies who want to be Hags are cool. Although personally I never call my girlfriends hags because its an ugly term, I still don't feel it should be used as an insult.
- faggot out!
Taking the dogs to Mystic Tan...that is priceless. :D
'"ratfaced pimpbag"...? Maybe? Is that by Louis Vuitton?'
Now that was pure genius. Kudos.
Or as Kevin might say, Yuos rap iz da shiznit! A'ight?
Here we go again... more Spears coming through the pipe.
*Thank goodness Cristina doesn't have a sister.*
Christina does have a sister. I don't remember her name and I don't know what she does.
Spelling lesson:
"WAT (what) THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH U (you) ALL? HOW RUDE AND HORRIBLE IS IT TO PUT UP THIS SHIT EBOUT (about) JAMIE LYNN AND THEN WRITE ALL THESE FUCKIN RUDE COMMENTS ABOUT HER. HOW DARE YOU, DONT YOU GET IT ALOT (a lot)OF PEOPLE GET INSULTED JUST BY READING AND LOOKING AT WAT (what) YOU WRITE AND THE PICTURES YOU PUT UP ABOUT HER. YOU GET ALL THIS HATE MAIL AND SHIT HALF OF IT IS ABOUT HOW WRONG IT IS TO WRITE THIS SHIT ABOUT BRITNEY AND YOU JUST THINK ITS HILERIOUS (hilarious). WELL ITS NOT. HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WENT INTO A WEBSITE AND SAW ALL THIS MAD SHIT ABOUT YOU. IT WOULD FUCKING CRUSH YOU. JUST LIKE IT WOULD WITH ANYONE ELSE. YOU'RE SUCH SELFISH BITCHES. YOU'VE NEVER MET JAMIE LYNN OR BRITNEY, YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THERE (their) LIKE. YOU SHOUDN'T JUDGE. YOU DONT EVEN KNOW THEM. YOU MUST BE REALLY INSECURE FAG HAGS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO INSULT GIRLS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. AND WITH YOUR STUPID ACCUSATIONS- THEIR (they're) ALL WRONG. CAUSE WE'RE KIDS,DUH!!!! WE DRESS LIEK (like) KIDS!!!!!!AND WE ARE TRUE FANS OF BRITNEY AND JAMIE LYNN AND ALWAYS WILL BE!!"
Lets hope she is better at picking guys then her sis
will you go to the movies with me?
hya every1 y iz every1 bein wel out bout jamie she iz lyk reali nice (wel it seens lyk it!) luv k8ie xxx jamie i fink ya gr8 hun xmwax p.s i luv ya zoey101!!!!