Hi, y'all. Sorry it's been so long since we've talked, but I have had a lot of stuff on my plate, you know? Like, a lot. I am just so exhausted. Seriously. Look at me:
I just don't even have the energy to even, like, brush my hair anymore, you know? My mom used to do it for me when my arms were too tired from dancing, but she's real mad at me right now. She said something the other night about my "passive-aggressive acting out," and I don't really know what that means but it doesn't sound very nice and she slammed the door after she said it so I know she's mad.
I had a real bad weekend, people. Okay, so I've been really really busy fighting all the false tabloids. Writing angry letters is really tiring, first of all, because I have to keep getting up and going to the dictionary, but it's totally worth it because it's a cause I really believe in. I mean, I am so tired of reading about how I'm all pregnant and Kevin is all going to Vegas and whooping it up while I'm stuck in this stupid condo throwing up while those guys are painting our house in Malibu and I don't even like that house. I mean, I AM pregnant and Kevin IS running off to Vegas and drinking with those trampy-ass strippers and I swear to God if I catch him touching one of them I'm going to snatch him bald but I really don't know how they know any of that except for that ONE phone conversation I had with that one girl who works for the Star.
Anyway. So I've been doing that. And then we came to the Miramont for the weekend and I was getting ready to go to brunch with Jamie Lynne and I was putting on my jeans and they don't even fit anymore because I'm getting so fat from this baby and then I just started to cry because I didn't have anything else to wear and I couldn't find Kevin because he told me he couldn't listen to my voice for one more minute and then he left the suite and went and got his own room - using my credit card because I am beginning to think that he's just with me for my money and let me tell you I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT -- but I really wanted some bacon so I had to put on this stupid muumuu that Jamie had bought in the gift shoppe as a gift for our grandma and then we went into brunch and I couldn't stop crying and I could barely eat my hot links.
And you'd think that would be all the bad things that would happen to me but no, then I found out that Bit Bit is PREGNANT and the Puppy Daddy is MY BROTHER BRYAN'S DOG. That is INCEST, y'all. INCEST is totally wrong and gross, which I have learned from watching Passions recently, and also from the Bible and stuff. What am I supposed to do? My dog can't have an incest baby, but I can't get the dog an abortion but what if her puppies have two heads or little fish gills or something? That is NOT RIGHT. I don't have TIME to deal with INCEST PUPPIES. I have A LOT GOING ON. I am fighting the false tabloids and I am trying to help Kevin make an album although HE IS NO JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and I am NOT just talking about SINGING but you didn't hear that from me. I am ALSO trying to create a warm and loving womb for my fetus, like I read in some book about babies and stuff, and I am ALSO trying to quit Red Bull because it's bad for the baby AND I caught Kevin stealing money from my purse the other day and I am beginning to regret even marrying him because for one thing LOOK AT HIS PANTS and also I don't understand why he won't tie his shoes even though I used to think that was cute, it's starting to REALLY BOTHER ME because he LOOKS LIKE AN IDIOT and also HE KEEPS TRIPPING AND I REALLY REALLY THINK MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE MARRIED HIM PLEASE PLEASE CALL ME JUSTIN PLEASE.
God. I am so tired. I can't even handle any of this anymore. I'm just going to take a nap after I call the bank and change my ATM PIN so Kevin doesn't take off to TJ again. Last time he didn't even bring me any Percocet. I am beginning to think maybe he is not really a very thoughtful person.
Rumor has it she was hospitalized due to pregnancy complications? Y'all, it must have been the smoking.
Awww, now I feel kind of bad for Britney.
Heh, Passions and the Bible and stuff.
Hilarious letter, as always Jess. If the idea behind Brit's outfit in that picture is that she doesn't want anyone to recognize her, she's succeeded. If that entourage passed me by in the street I wouldn't be thinking 'Wow, Britney!', I'd be thinking "I hate how fat people shop at Old Navy so much".
Poor Britney: not only has she doubled in size but she also happens to be pregnant with her broke-skinny-stinky-irresponsible-commitmentphobe-cheating-useless scrub whose probably gonna leave her fat a%$ once he tranfers enough of her millions into his private Swiss account....ahahahah the b#%ch got punk'd so baaaddd y'alll!!!!!! No wonder she's too depressed to take a shower and wash her greasy hair!!!!
Brilliant!
Momma's home cookin' my ass.
What the hell is going on with those pants of his? I swear.
I simply have not the words.
>>>I'd be thinking "I hate how fat people shop at Old Navy so much".<<<
Um. WTF?
Ahhahaha. I love you people.
They look like their van just broke down.
That letter is way to mature sounding and has way to many words spelled correctly to even pretend it came from Britney. You know, if I had all her money you can bet I'd dress a lot better and maybe manage to take a shower or brush my hair every once in a while.
Oh, I just LOVE it when you fug the Spederlines. You really have to do that more often ;)
Fantastically funny as usual!
Does this woman have a neck? Even skinny, it was nowhere to be found.
Oh my God, her boobs are HUGE!!!! She MUST be pregnant - look at that little belly! That's exactly how my sister looked when she was three months along with twins.
Egad.
Ok, the tits are HUGE. I mean like gross droopy huge. Not attractive. And they would not have gotten that much bigger from getting all knocked up. Not that fast anyway.
And please tell me the pregnant dog thing is just a farce. I mean ok, nit picking, but I hated the fact that she keeps buying dogs in pet stores. Not surprizing, being that she is an idiot and all, but why should I then expect her to get then altered. *sigh* I'll be real happy when the "it's cool to be trashy" trend fades away.
Wow, you beat me too it... but just barely. Heh.
You have raised the bar on Britney hilarity so high that we need a telescope to see it now. I'm sitting at my desk crying from the laughter. Thanks.
The next betting pool...
How long until she is photographed smoking WHILE pregnant?
Check out that boob job.
No snark, no comment at all except, you rock my world. I love you and I want to marry you, and if there was any justice in the world, it'd be legal. That is all.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/tommybarbarella/
I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THESE LETTERS. My friends and I get a real kick out of them, and the funny thing is when I read them the last letter she wrote, they all laughed, and that one was her REAL letter. Good work girls.
I digress, whoever decided that Brit looks good with that whole "grungy" look should be shot. She used to be such a pretty girl, now she looks like an employee of the 99 cents store.
You are brilliant. Keep up fugging up the Federlines!
Maybe I'm supposed to know this, but who is the little girl Fugerline is carrying? I can't even comment on the fug. It's too horrible to have words.
Kevin's daughter looks much too big to carry. And Britney looks like she's about to say so. I wonder if they have "blended family" issues. "Gawd, Kevin, she has to visit AGAIN? She was just here last month! This daddy-to-other-people thing has to stop when we have OUR baby!"
thats his daughter with Shar Jackson...you know, the girlfriend he left Britney for while she was pregnant with his second out o' wedlock kid... duh!
BA HA HA HA HA!!!
This just made my day!
Have you checked out pagesixsixsix.com lately? Supposedly Britney is in the hospital right now due to some complication with her pregnancy.
I'm so totally gonna hang around the Piggly Wiggly waitin' for her to show up with a box of incest puppies.
she's not really pregnant, is she? is that why she took the chance to look really slutty in the "do something" video? as a "last chance to *almost* flash my pu**y????
are we to expect a future video a la "just the 2 of us" by will smith and his son?
You...you just made my day...
Pitch perfect, spot on. I love you girls and if it were biologically possible I would have your Federletus. Poor Britney; it's so obvious that deep down in your black tarry hearts you are hiding some well-deserved sympathy for her.
Frickin' Hilarious!!!!!!! You guys rock!!
Oh man. Jessica? We seriously need to go out for drinks together. Bring the Mulder and Scully dolls. Heh. You crack me up so much. Please tell me you are going to recap the reality show for TwoP. It is my greatest dream!
That poor little girl in her daddy's arms. Run sweetie, run away from your stepmom! Don't catch her fug!
Okay, Britney looks awful, but at least she looks like she has a collection of fugly clothing... What is up with K-Fed? Is that one outfit the only one that he owns? While his shirts look like they might be new/clean, or at least he hasn't sweated too much in them or spilled anything on them, the pants look like they were foraged from a dumpster, and then sliced with a kitchen knife to be transformed into man-pris... They still manage to look like you can smell them coming from 4 blocks away. Marlboros, cheetos, and armpit sweat... *blech*!
And hopefully Britney won't be one of those women who thinks she can refuse to wear maternity clothes until she's 8 months pregnant.
http://blissfullyclueless.blogspot.com/
speaking of lard-asses, have you seen that pic of fat-ass Tobey Mcguire thats floating around? he needs a fugging.
i cant wait for the Oprah special after Kev dumps her.
INCEST PUPPIES. I am dying. That is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Keep up the fugging...it makes me laugh out loud every day!!!
Aw, you make me love her.
Everytime I come here.. I leaving laffing like crazy.... Too good!!!
Pregnant Britney is going to be hilarious!! Can't wait. And seriously? What's with the boobs?
You are really warming my black, black heart, you bitches.
Let's get a hotel room somewhere.
Hilarious!
Is the belly due to the Cheetos or the baby?
Oh my...so if Britney's preggers, is she carrying a Cletus-fetus?
Im sorry for that.
I'm also wondering if these girls all think that if they dye their hair dark that they've so cleverly disguised themselves that we won't know they're whores? Note to Ashlee, Britney, Nicky, etc...there are brunette skanks too...You're fooling no one.
Anyone who thinks boobs can't grow that fast when pregnant have obviously not been a fairly well endowed girl who 1. gets pregnant 2. puts on weight.
Everytime I do either I can count on going up at least a cup size. (And they don't go away when I lose the weight!) It sucks.
Best. Entry. Ever.
my word. britney is so unbelievably rich but she insists on wearing ill-fitting, stain-covered rags that look like they were purchased from walmart...and those two-toned hair extensions are hardly flattering.
Oh, and a tip to K-Fed...LOSE THE MANPRIS (or shpants, as i like to call them). GAH!!
Obviously she's pregnant. That she hasn't been photographed smoking in public for such a long time is the final clue. If she truly is suffering complications, on one hand that's sad for her. But on the other, if she loses the baby, what better excuse to bust up her second marriage? Britney's good at making lemonade...
http://www.tobymelt.blogspot.com/
Oh for Jumping Jehovah's sake, at least put some shoes on that kid! Even when my cousin Lori (that's "Law-ree") was living at the K.O.A. campground for a couple months, she still remembered to put shoes on her babies feet!
Wait...how does Kevin manage not to break his ankles when he walks? Look at those skinny little things! And also...where is Brit's waist? I can't believe I used to envy her body.
Those have to be pregnant boobies.
And does anyone remember how Britney Spears USED to look in jeans? Anyone remember the "I'm a Slave 4 U" video? Any ladies remember the rush of low self-esteem the video caused, because you knew that even if you did the 1000 crunches a day that Britney did, you'd never look like that?
Ladies, I submit to you this fugging.
This chick's jeans have NEVER been ill-fitting - not like this. She HAS to be pregnant. Wouldnt' more of the fat have distributed itself on her thighs, too, if she weren't? Because to me, her thighs don't look much larger than normal...
While the Incest Puppies bit predictably cracked my sh*t up, I'm still left to wonder what's so fugly about a preggie gal in a tank top and jeans?
*scratches head in confusion*
The thought of those two actually breeding together is so repellant to me...I pity any fruit springing from their greasy, unwashed loins!
INCEST PUPPY. Stroke of genius.
"Even when my cousin Lori (that's "Law-ree") was living at the K.O.A. campground for a couple months, she still remembered to put shoes on her babies feet!"
Thats freakin hilarious!!!!
This is K-Fed,aka the Federleezie. I axed you to stop with the hating, and here y'all bitches are once again. Brit didn't mean what she said in that letter,she all sensitive from the babyand from her crazy moms egging her on and giving up Cheetos(the hot crunchy ones,not the baked puffy ones that you don't need teeth to eat,just your gums,)and she down to 8 Red Bulls a day,without the vodka, but with orange juice cause of the foley acid. And she can't stop me from getting mo' money,mo'money,cause I got my own account and my platinum Amex, with my name K-Fed, right on it.(Course I had to go thru hell to get it, cause how many times did I have to play "Superbowl Sunday" with Brit in her dark haired weave and lots of self tanner and a boob ring and me playing you-know-who helping her have a "wardrobe malfunction".the thought of that still gives me the whim whams.)Like I said,She kinda crazy from the whoremones,and that also makes her want me to slip her the boloney pony alla time, when she getting to look like that fat actress chick Christie Ally, before the Jenny Craig.It's getting harder and harder to step up to the plate, but I am the motherfucking P.I.M.P.(And speaking of plate, Brit,try pushing yours away sometime and damn! put down that fork.) She only in her 2nd trimester,and she already blowing up like the Notorious B.I.G. And all that talk about the miracle of birth. She all nervous cause I wasn't there for the arrival of my #2,my son, Kaleb Michael Jackson Federline,cause I was on a business trip to Vegas(and believe me, I got the bizness) but as long as I was there for the conception,no harm,no foul,A'ight? B need to step off. She got all upset because I said Bit Bit's litter was going straight into Puppy Lake, when I was just joking. We could sell then bitches right off, cause they a cross between a pit bull and that yo quiero taco bell dog, and that's some hilarious shit, right? Mo money, Mo'money, mo' money.Anyway, like I keep saying, ya''l need to stop the hate, cause ya gonna eat your words when my CD finally drops, and I be like Fitty Cent, Eminem,and Clay Aiken all rolled into one, and King Kong don't have nothing on me!(I mean you Justin. Just cause your girlfriend got this slamming body and hosted Saturday nite Live, don't mean you're better than me.)Anyway just wanted to repeat,Brit and and me are great. Just watch our reality show,see how tight we are and how we gonna make Jessica and Nick look like the wannabees they are.Stop the Hate!! Peace out, Federline.
There once was this girl called Brit.
Who constantly looked like shit.
Still she waddled around,
in a “moo moo” type gown,
Screaming, “Cletus I'm callin’ it quits!”
You cannot blame Brit for the drama,
she just wants to be Kev's baby’s mama!
And he's off with the strippers,
all creamin his knickers,
while she's back home dealing with trama.
Who cares about brushing your hair,
and diets just wouldn't be fair!
She can't be expected,
while feeling rejected,
to look like she actually cares.
Yet seems that Brits plans have been thwarted.
and her marrige is just getting started!
I know one thing is clear,
And I learned it this year.
Kabbalah can't save the retarded!
"Sorry it’s been so long since we’ve talked, but I have had a lot of stuff on my plate, you know?"
Judging by the looks of her, she has nothing on her plate . . .she at it all!
Gretchen - you are brilliant!!!!!!!
correct me if I'm wrong, but I think her brother's dog is A DIFFERENT BREED! That's what makes INCEST PUPPIES the funniest, saddest thing I've read this year. As Gretchen says: Kabbalah can't save the retarded!
AW DAMN. I am not going to even try to say anything clver here. Blackirish has me laughing so fuckin' hard I cannot think. Girl, you are brillant.
Black Irish--the Fug Ladies need to give you a regular gig on this site, because that stuff is just too good to be hidden down here in the comments.
It just got worse - I read Gretchen's post. I am gonna get fired and I am coming to live with ya'll.
THESE ARE MY FAVORITE FUGS!
Ahh I love them! She announced on her website (finally) that they are expecting their first child together - dear God fug them as much as possible, you're so damn funny it's unreal.
Holy Fug, go to www.britneyspears.com and read the news...she's confirmed the pregancy...*weeps for the unborn child and all of humanity*
Here's the text of the LOT:
Dear Fans,
The time has finally come to share our wonderful news that we are expecting our first child together. There are reports that I was in the hospital this weekend, Kevin and I just want everyone to know that all is well. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Britney & Kevin
The Federletter is another classic in the genre, but Blackirish and Gretchen's follow-ups make it a truly beautiful package.
Oh Brit. I was missing your little updates! So good to see you're doing what you do best. Looking trashy!
Wow. The only fug I remember being this awesomely hysterical was the slut-prom dress. I won't even try to be clever, because Blackirish and Gretchen completely owned the comment section.
Gretchen, you're my hero.
Posted at her official site:
Dear Fans,
The time has finally come to share our wonderful news that we are expecting our first child together. There are reports that I was in the hospital this weekend, Kevin and I just want everyone to know that all is well. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Britney & Kevin
maternity fug. . . .
L O V E S I T!
"First" child together? Like, she thinks he'll stick around to make more with her? BWAHAHAHAHAHAH.
I have to laugh because otherwise, well.... *wince*
Though I think it's only a matter of months now before Kevin goes off and knocks up one of those Vegas strippers and leaves Britney while she's in labor.
INCEST PUPPIES
INCEST PUPPIES
INCEST PUPPIES
INCEST PUPPIES
INCEST PUPPIES
INCEST PUPPIES
INCEST PUPPIES
INCEST PUPPIES
INCEST PUPPIES
INCEST PUPPIES
INCEST PUPPIES
INCEST PUPPIES
INCEST PUPPIES
Jessica, I love you. The Britney letters are the best. Thanks so much for making this one nice and long!
OH DEAR GOD NO THEY'VE PROCREATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I give it a 95% chance that Kevin will officially leave her before the start of her third trimester.
If it's a girl, they'll have her in pampers cut up to THERE, and if it's a boy, he'll be smoking before he cuts his first tooth.
The phrase which elevates this entry to the truly hilarious is "the Puppy Daddy", followed closely by "incest puppies". I'm dyin' over here.
I'm going to start a band named Incest Puppies...and you better believe we'll sound better than Britney.
Gods, I don't want to see her baby! This whole story is beyond any fashion fug of the past...like worse than Clhoe Sevigny plus Lil' Kim plus Mischa Barton.
YES! Slutney is preggers! There is justice in this world!
okay, i understand we've all noticed the belly.
but people, have you looked at her BOOBS? they're ginormous. like those flip-flops.
i love it when brit takes time out to talk to us like this. it totally pumps me up and makes me think all is right with the world again if only it weren't for those liar liar false tabloids. i mean, you'd think she was a crazy-ass trailer-lovin' hair-challenged psycho if you actually believed that stuff.
and we all know THAT'S not true.
"Puppy daddy" made me burst out laughing. Thanks for giving me relief from the eight page paper I have to write by tomorrow morning.
Okay, but what the fuck is on her feet? With the billowy jeans all around. I know we've seen it all before...but seriously, what the fuck is on her feet? Those are shoes like Cheetos are food.
He must have the most potent sperm to mankind. Well, to womankind. He's the Sperminator! I'd like Darwin to explain this to me.
I think that Britney and the K-fed's now look is actually a subliminal work of high fashion, where the height of trash and the height of conspicuous wealth are slammed together in one wet-humping ball of sweaty limbs.
The stains we think are coke - rare deep-sea sturgeon caviar from above the artic circle. 1500$/ounce.
The sweaty, greasy layer of filth that Brit and the K-Fed sport on a daily basis - actually a mixture of priceless myrrh, saffron oils and killer whale extract. 5000$/ounce.
The trucker hats and horrible clothes? Secretly, they have a small stable of Hollywood's finest tailors cutting up Chanel and Gucci suits, and sewing them into horrible mutant redneck outfits.
I think it's pretty clear that Kevin's daughter, while yes, is too big to be carried, HAD to be carried. Her poor feet are probably burned from the hot pavement. She was probably crying and whining for daddy to carry her for the last mile. This borders on child abuse. Please send this photo to the child's mother. She needs full custody. Kevin Federline is obviously an unfit father. How hard is it to put shoes on your precious daughter's feet? It is obviously a warm day. What an idiot. This man should never be allowed near this or any other child. He is clearly far too selfish, inconsiderate and immature for fatherhood. Set the fugliness aside and see the real picture. Sad, isn't it?
Oh god, no, please, she cannot have a child! What a gigantic, horrible, incomprehensible mistake. Stupid little Britney, playing house and getting pregnant, like that's going to make this pathetic situation any better. Although the Fug is so much fun, and the letters are fantastic, the thought of bringing a poor innocent child in to this mess is more than I can bear. This child has little or no chance to emerge from this unscathed. Poor, poor little baby.
I. Love. You.
That was excellent. I especially loved the way it accelerated near the end. You are an artist.
I actually feel kind of bad for Britney...She's turning into a car crash that actually *isn't* fun to watch. Sigh. Oh well. Hopefully she'll produce semi-cute spawn, lose the fat, ditch the rat, and become wisened and alternative-y, and become the next Sheryl Crow! It could happen!
INCEST PUPPIES.
How do you bitches come up with such fugging hilarious snark week after week? I want to marry you and have, like, a million of your incest puppies!
Y'all need to get over it already on the thing about the little girl not wearing shoes. Jesus. #1, Britney is carrying a bag, which for all we know might contain the "missing" shoes. Most kids that age go through a phase of semi-independence where they want to call the shots about what they wear or don't wear, and many kids don't like shoes; perhaps she took them off. #2, why is it such a heinous crime to forego shoes if you know you're going to be carrying your kid, say from the car to the lawn or from the pool back to the apartment? I did it all the time until my son got too big to carry; no shoes=one less thing to lose or keep track of. #3, even if she is walking barefoot, it's not exactly the height of summer with heat rising off the pavement. I live in the desert, where it's usually hotter than 98% of the country, and it's nowhere NEAR hot enough to burn your feet on the sidewalk yet. "Barefoot=unfit parent;" gawd. What an overreaction! Take a deep breath and try to return to rationality. The news about the impending spawn has unsettled us all.
She has probably passed her first trimester that is why she is publicly acknowledging the little Federlette, but I haven't seen anyone look this noticably chubby after the first 3 months. Something tells me she is going to take advantage of this eating cheetos for two thing and gain about 70 lbs. Brit - try some veggies and fruit, they are good for the baby.
ahahahahahahaha!
Bwahahahahaha! Way to capture some redneck tone, girls!
BTW, JMC, you're funny, too.
Agreed that this little baby is doomed to a trailer-trash upbringing. You can take the 'rents out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the 'rents.
Sorry to be a buzz-kill.
yeap, she's pregnant sad b*tch.
I love you Blackirish - can I have your incest puppies? Well, I guess not since were are not related, but it's the thought that counts.
fugalicious!
thanks for the laugh =)
Wow! This is like brilliance explosion up in this joint. Fug Girls, BlackIrish, Gretchen - y'all rock my world!
On a sadder note, the subject of the fug herself just really, really makes me sad. And not in a snarky "I say it's sad, but it's really hilarious" kind of way. Watching Brit's life unfold is like winessing a fatal car wreck. You really don't want to look and you know it's horrible, but you just can't look away. Oh, and not to be a buzzkill, but Toby: miscarriage is never funny. Ever. Not even when applied to Cletus Fetus
Aw shucks, the only thing that made the Spederline train-wreck good, clean, guilt-free fun was that she didn't have any real responsbilities. Unlike Courtney Love, where you just had to sort of back away slowly out of respect for poor, doomed little Francis Bean.
Now I suppose we have to show some restraint as Britters is clearly on a greased roller coaster track to divorce and single-parenthood, possibly in a double-wide trailer somewhere.
Sigh.
On second thought....hhaaaaaahahahaaaaa!!
SHAR-de-har-har!
Man, I... feel kind of bad for her now too. And I don't want to feel bad for her. That letter just had such a depressed tone. Of course, the "puppy daddy" and "incest puppies" bits were hilarious.
http://britneyspears.com/
haha, check it out, she said it! *sigh* i hate her
I'm surprised they don't hire somebody to carry the kid. After all, if J-Lo can have a coat-handler and two eyebrow technicians with her at all times...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
BlackIrish...
You spelled Whoremones incorrectly...I believe the proper spelling is: whoremoans
Well, break open the Blue Ribbon and the corn chips...we're goin' to have us a FederChild on our hands. I think the fug girls should throw Brit a baby shower. What do ya'll think? Plenty of Rock Out With Your Huggies Out onesies, jars of pureed Cheetos. Sounds like an affair to remember.
Effin brilliant snark. Incest puppies!
She really is pregnant, that's sad. Crikey, how many kids does her prick husband have? Once she has his baby it is going to be a lot harder to cut him off financially. Pretty smooth, Brit, pretty smooth.
ladyzulaikha beat me to the band named "Incest Puppies" punch.
We at least need Incest Puppies t-shirts, though. Glarkware, where are you?
I vote for Incest Puppies T-shirts...with a couple of two-headed Brittany Spaniels on the front. Awsome!
Check out Bit Bit's (the dog's) bedroom on BS's website...can you imagine how BS is going to decorate the baby's bedroom? Strawberry Shortcake on crack!
Blackirish is the king!!! He's the only fugger whom I look foreard to reading, and whoever said that he should have a regular column on here is absolutely right. Killer stuff.
And now that my worst nightmare has been confirmed...
I say we all take up a collection to have Cletus neutered in order to prevent him from spreading any more of his mongrel seed...
"...but I really wanted some bacon..."
LOVESIT LOVESIT LOVESIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Jesus, if she's this tubby at 3 months, can you imagine what she'll look like at nine? Women are supposed to gain weight when they're pregnant, of course, but geez louise...
KILL IT BEFORE IT SPREADS!!!
Three things bear repeating:
Incest Puppies.
Cletus-Fetus.
BlackIrish's entire post, A'Ight?
Look! It's the Blessed Sanctity of Heterosexual Union!
By God, it makes ya proud.
*salutes the Spederline*
What makes me *almost* feel bad for her is that this could be what she really wanted to write on her website, but obviously can't. Then again, she probably doesn't have time to spellcheck an entry that long.
Is anyone going to mention that she's been seen smoking in the last month or so? And she's got to be at least 3 months along.
the worst part about the incest puppies is that the fug girls did not make it up. That actually came from a statement her publicist made about why the families were called in for an emergency meeting. It wasn't because there were problems with the marriage - it was the incest puppies.
your house doesn't have to be on wheels to be trailer trash!
*Grins in wicked delight*
I can't wait for the maternity clothes...
The incest puppies are real?
And Brit's reproducing? With El Federlino?
This is the overlord class I have to get used to?
Anyone got some extra Valium or Darvocet they can throw my way? I can't seem to stop speaking in questions?
Trojandoll:
PLEASE, Please, Please tell me that you just made that up! She couldn't have seriously called an emergency family meeting about the Incest Puppies(tm Jess)?!?
I want an Incest Puppy tee-shirt too!
Isn't it about time to call him Kevin Fertiline? He's really racking them up.
Daily Mail's reporting that Britney's having a girl, and is four months along.