The Emancipation of Fugly

That's a whole lotta crazy jammed into one pink dress.

I didn't know Miriah was a dancer on the Lawrence Welk Mardi Gras Special! Wow, she is talented.

Crazy, indeed. It looks like we have a static cling situation going on. Like part of her skirt is stuck to that dancer's tie? Zap!

And Derek Jeter shakes his head once again and says, "What was I thinking?"

The sad thing is, the color of the dress looks really pretty with her skin tone. She could've opted for a much more flattering cut and style.

However, I'm FLUVING her shoes. They are hot, and I want them.

Wardrobe inspired by Pepto Bismol.

I hate her so much. She drives me absolutely, positively insane. How she became famous is beyond me. Okay, so she had a couple good songs when she started and her voice doesn't totally suck, but shouldn't she be shunned just for being a complete and blubbering idiot?

. . . .with a sparkly pink marshmallow peep chaser.

I think it's very considerate of her to walk on only the whole tiles, so as not to step on a crack, invariably breaking her mother's back.

Too bad her mummy just went blind attempting to look into her fugliness.

'And Derek Jeter shakes his head once again and says, "What was I thinking?"'

That one nearly knocked me off my chair...thank you.

And the outfit? I'd post a witty comment but frankly I'm too frightened by Mariah to look directly at her and am unsure of the ensemble details. Though I did glimpse her face quickly and that smile says she may come get me in the night with a shank, sparkly angel wings all aflutter.

Anyone else see the MTV special where she said the word ENSEMBLE 400 times? I started wincing at one point each time she said it...

Just give her some time.
She'll give you plenty o'crazy.

It looks like she cut a mighty powerful fart, and the dancer directly behind her is all "HOLD UP. NASTY. WHOA."

I'll agree...the shoes are hot. Girlfriend has got some meaty thighs though, and that dress sure doesn't do anything to flatter them. Also, is that a bruise on her right arm or a tattoo?

This dress looks like it was made from cheap polyester-rayon-blend sheets, stolen from the honeymoon suite at the local discount motel. Also, it's the colour of Bubble Yum, which is an unfortunate (but funny) coincidence.

speaking of girls in pink:

http://people.aol.com/people/galleries/0,19884,1043131_10,00.html

this is just too horrific for words

I am very much enjoying the Jack McFarland-inspired use of jazz hands behind her there.

I think a hot pink top hat would set the whole ensemble off. Mariah, you got a little crazy on your face...

http://www.livejournal.com/users/tommybarbarella/

You know, again, one small alteration, and it wouldn't be that bad. If only Mariah had outgrown her penchant for showing off as much of her breasts as legally allowed, the dress would actually sorta work. I'm debating about the color - I certainly wouldn't pick it (but then again, 80% of what I own is black), but she's sorta workin' it. Weird.

I gotta say, I'm just so relieved to see a celebrity who isn't a rattling skeleton that I can almost forgive the Pepto-shade and the really bizarre shoulder-strap...thing...that makes it look like she's giving us generous flashes of her pink lacy bra beneath her dress.

I honestly don't think this is that bad or even fug-worthy.....

Sure, the colour is not something I like or would recommend, but it looks fine on her. And the cut, while not the most flattering, is not evil, either.

I don't think this looks too over-the-top.

What scares me is the guys in the background...

Here we see Mariah in the Warner Brothers casting reception area, leading a Conga Line at tryouts for the part of Robin in the next Batman movie, "The Other Side of Gotham City"

The guys in the background look like something out of the Phantom of the Opera

and then there's the dress...
I am lost for words.

Today's Special:
"Carmen Miranda with Fruit on the Side"

What's with the Phantom of the Fugpera in the background? Those guys scary me more than "Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, whose pink floaty bubble has clearly exploded all over her, but no wait, that's Mariah Crazy?"

That dress is indeed hideous. I don't understand any love for it, and again I say, the whole outfit is something very appropriate for a gay funeral in New Orleans (possibly for a very popular drag queen, or Momma Soliz's over the top funeral), but not for any other occasion.

Isn't it ironic that, much like Molly Ringwald, nothing--especially Mariah--is really all that Pretty in Pink?

Why can't this poor woman (she is past being a girl) ever wear sleeves? Ever? It's like when she was 17 some stylist told her "wear sleavless" and it can be -37 degrees and the woman has boobs and arms going all over the place? Put a damn jacket on woman!

I...I don't know. I am at a loss for words. There are no words! What's getting me is that, while it IS a Barbie dress and it IS a Vegas Showgirl dress, it sorta works for her. Like, it's crazy, but then show is she so it almost works. I don't know. Mariah really is an overgrown Barbie girl at heart, anyway...

That dress really isn't that bad. It's elegantly cut so it enhances the right parts while still leaving some for the imagination. And Mariah looks like she's about average weight for her height.

The problem is that she ALWAYS dresses like that. Always with the princess gowns. I imagine every day is a party for Mariah, full of glitter, confetti, and masked men in tuxedos, and she spins round and round shouting "I'm a princess! A purty purty princess!" And then she wakes up to all those empty bottles of Kristall and realizes she had gone on a five-day bender, not a glitter-filled magical journey around the world. Then she proceeds to eat all the tacos in Southern California for the next five days. How else would she keep meat on her bones?

I wonder when she's going to give up this pretense of wanting to wear clothes, and just go nude all the time.

LA writes:
> If only Mariah had outgrown her penchant for showing
> off as much of her breasts as legally allowed

Hey, if you spent as much as she did on those boobs, you'd want to show them off, too.

And shame on MaggieBelle, Mariah does not have meaty thighs. Queen Latifah (respect) has meaty thighs. Mariah is we call "healthy," at least from the neck down.

ugh,is that a sausage casing or a dress? shes a skank

Let's just be thankful that the dress has got that weird, lacy and bra-looking part of the bodice, shall we? There are, apparently, designers (and customers!) out there who seriously would consider skipping it..

I don't know what made me laugh harder--the April Fools Go Hug Yourself website or this dress.

hmmm. Maybe the dress wasn't SUPPOSED to be funny? You think?

Ok Jer...now you made me feel bad. I guess what I meant to say is that dress *makes* her thighs look larger than they probably are.

"Mariah is we call "healthy," at least from the neck down."

BWAH! This is true. The woman looks good, even for having fake boobs, and is a great contrast to all the uber-skinny carb-free starlets out there.

And I'm not just saying that because I'm afraid of all that crazy. But, for the record, I am afraid of the crazy.

1) I think the thing on her right arm is just a confetti shadow.
2) The shoes are alright.
3) I saw the video for "It's Like That." I think I also heard her say that she's very proud of writing most of her new album. Which is sad, really, because the chorus of the first single is:
"It's like that y'all, it's like that y'all, it's like tha-tha-tha-that, it's like that y'all."
And there's some guy in the video wearing a mask like those backup dancers. So this is some kind of theme.
4) Mariah is stupid and crazy, as illustrated by (3) above.
5) If she wants to reinvent herself, she might consider doing something, ya know, different. Just a thought.

That looks a lot like the amazing 'reversible' prom dress.

At the last minute Mariah just decided to wear her pink spangly bra underneath to prevent a nipplegate replay.

but, you know, she probably lives in her own sparkly, pink dreamworld where everyone is gorgeous, the food is non-fattening and nothing bad ever happens.

I could use a delusional world like that some days — not of course if I had to wear that dress . . .

This is a woman who counts butterflies and glitter as important staples for any wardrobe. Her excessive use of Halloween-Costumes-as-outer-wear is not that hot. Neither is her predisposition for Underware-as-outer-wear. It pains me to say it but I am all about any outfit she wears that is comprised of more than one yard of fabric.

To quote the FUG girls, "I can't even see her vagina!"
To quote Martha Stewart, " It's a good thing."

In a small voice, I have to say that I would totally wear this dress. My weakness is pink clothes, which I usually work in by wearing very pale pink tops or bright pink barettes, something tasteful. But if given the opportunity to dress like a pepto-bismol showgirl, my only question would be, "Where's the dressing room?"

Hello, tree-trunk legs!

I am in love with her craziness; it just gets better everyday.

"Pepto-Bismol Showgirl" is spot-on, K.

M- you made me laugh out loud in the library, a crime I glare at undergrads for all the time, but it was worth it.
I love Mariah and I'm glad she exists if for no other reason than her phone messages to her "lambs" aka fans, which if you've ever heard them make you realize how deep, and intelligent, and unself-centered you are.

I am on board with everyone who loves those shoes, and I agree, this is quite an understatement for Ms. Mary had a lot of lambs...who usually shows much poorer taste in decorating her flanks.

What's wrong with pink and sparkly (she is on stage - I assume from the backing dancers and confetti)? It's not like she's wearing it to pop down the shops for a pint of milk...

And for the record, in the real world she would be described as slim. Those are definitely not meaty thighs - just because she isn't a cocktail stick... *grumble grumble etc*

Oy. Thank you to whomever mentioned jazz hands. And what was Derek Jeter thinking? This outfit seems tame compared to other 'clothes' she goes out in. Didn't she strip on TRL?

This isn't that bad. I'd wear it if it wasn't that color.

I dunno. I'm on the fence with this one...Yes, it's a bit too garish for this day and age, but it's cute in some strange way, but I don't think Mariah Carey should be wearing it. She's older, and can't get away with it. Jessica Simpson (pre-Dukes of Hazard diet) could wear this dress, as could Hilary Duff maybe...Someone we associate with youth and cute curves. Of course it would need some modifications, but still. I dunno. It does bug me though, but maybe it's just because it's on Mariah...She looked great in the video for this song though.

The guys behind her are freaking hot though, as are the ones in the video. *.*

Admit it people- she looks good. I'd do her.

Was this from the birthday party where she commissioned and 5'9" cake in her likeness from Harrod's?

She's a nutbar with extra cashews.

Mullet skirt mullet skirt mullet skirt.

If everybody starts calling them mullet skirts maybe they will go away.

Sad thing? I'm kinda liking it. Emphasis on the "kinda." Still, I feel dirty all over...

you just made me laugh out loud! "...i almost expect her to wear this gown with little sparkly angel wings and a tiara..." i totally wouldn't put it past her. i think somebody's been popping her ecstasty pills for the past few years. thank god she didn't go through the glow stick-whistle-teddy bear backpack faze. or maybe i was out of the country then?

This pic reminds me of the prom scene from the movie, "Carrie", only, without the buckets of pigs blood...

awww...leave Mimi alone. Yall know she's not working with a full deck.

The dress isn't that bad...we've definitely seen worse.

do we want to take bets as to whether there's actually anyone in the crowd? or do we think she just rented out an entire concert hall, hired some crazy, phantom of the opera dancers, and made them perform "honey" over and over and over again to a bunch of empty seats until the janitor made her call it a night because he had to sweep off the stage. i'm going with the latter.

She looks so much better than she usually has in recent years. I kind of want her to get a gig in Vegas, sort of like Celine Dion's show but with more crazy.

Erin, I agree...we've seen worse and Mariah is really improving with her new stylist. She is a gorgeous woman with a fabulous figure...who sometimes picks clothes that are not appropriate for her figure or age or station in life...or anyone's station in life unless they are a ho. This pink bubble gum confection isn't bad -- it is certainly an improvement. But, gosh, she would look so gorgeous in a streamlined Armani pantsuit with one or two fabulous pieces of jewelry or a Richard Tyler black gown that accentuates the positive and hides the negative with soft makeup, soft natural hair and one fab piece of jewelry. If Mimi could only realize that less is more -- and that her own natural beauty is 100 times more impactful than the ho fashions of some crazy-ass stylist -- then she would look just gorgeous, utterly gorgeous....and not like some stuffed sausage Curious George lookalike.

Hate double posting, (>.<), but everyone keep their eyes peeled! According to VH1 news, her next music video (which'll be a continuation of the first, "It's like that"), will have the return of the infamous wedding gown shown on GFY at some point that she wore a P.Diddy party. Just. ick. I'm KINDA starting to respect Mariah, but then she has to do a thing like that...

at least she's not wearing a glittery cleavage-baring wedding dress. despite the crazy coming out of her pores, she definately could have done worse. (and i think the shoes are fab!)

I too live in fear of all that crazy. Girlfriend needs serious, serious psychiatric help. However....she looks like she is having (ahem) fun, and I am really glad to see a celebrity whose looks like she eats real food, instead of living on cigs and alcohol. So I think I'll take the crazy...but please, Mariah, seek help....
As for the dress, can't add a word, everything's been said.

I actually like the dress, and the color...is she actually in Miami? It looks like she's in Miami. The bad part of the dress are the extra staps...they look like a glittery bathing suit. However, I'm thankful for them because if they weren't there she'd pull a Ling, and she has a whole lot more to expose.
I like those shoes though...I think she looks purdy.

I know I should hate it, but I think I kind of love it. Probably because I too had this dress for my Barbie and I secretly always wanted her dresses.

I too thought Mimi's thighs were looking pretty "healthy" compared to that one CD cover where she looks like RuPaul with 6'4'' of legs. (And she said it wasn't airbrushed - for shame).

This fat bitch was over 10 years ago. Why am i still seeing her... i don't know.

I personally don't think Mariah is fat or meaty. She looks healthy and has just the right amount of flesh. She was wayyy flubbier before this picture, if I recall correctly. (esp. after the flops of her movie and Butterfly album).

I actually like the dress, except for the top half. Would have gotten my attention if it were in black and had an asymmetric neckline. The skirt should be bordered with minute diamond sequins.

Aww, but she looks so happy. She's all like, "I'm gonna sing for you!" and the guy directly behind her at the bottom is going, "Aaah! My poor innocent ears! Maybe if I mime a wall of silence between me and her horrible horrible voice!"

That's not a Barbie dress, it's a Cher dress. I swear to God my Cher doll from my Sonny and Cher (it was the 70's, leave me alone) pair of dolls is wearing this dress.

Witness:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=15953&item=5570358983&rd=1#ebayphotohosting

The masked guys in the background scare me.

I love that we've gotten to the point that this is what some people are calling fat. Look at her arms, and please tell me this is a fat woman. Jesus, people. Mariah may be nutty and wearing a drag queen's dress, but she is slim and nicely-curved while doing it.

Whoa, I just noticed that the back-up Masked Men are wearing *white tennis shoes* with black suits! This picture is the fug that keeps on giving.

Okay I hate... repeat HATE Mariah Carey. She is an airheaded, shit-for-brains imbicile. I want her to get hit by a large, rapidly moving vehicle. I have despised her from day one. I just want everyone to understand that. Then you will understand why what I am about to say is so VERY difficult for me...

Despite my rabit distaste for this woman, my honest nature is demanding that I come to her defense. No, I don't like the dress, but it's MARIAH, people. You know? Crazy Bitch on toast?! What do you expect from her? She's got the titties out. She's got the crotch on peek-a-boo standby, it fits her like a glove, but it's MARIAH. I'm actually surprised she has on so much fabric in the first place! At least she's not flapping above the stage on makeshift glittery butterfly wings! Think back and remember, people. It could be A LOT worse! Why?

Because it's MARIAH!

And as much as I hate to admit it, body wise, she looks pretty good here! Better than her stint as a slightly chunky crazy bitch that demanded air brushing. And whoever is picking on her thighs can piss off. I'm happy to see a tartlet with some meat to her.

Aw you guys! I can't stand Mariah but I actually think she looks good and not completely insane. Even though that's a really terrible color, it doesn't look toooo bad. And kittygrrl's right, it could have been A LOT skankier.

I guess there is a skank in me whom I never knew, but I think she looks AWEsome.

Her clothing choice on her Birthday Cake wasn't much better. http://www.pammyland.com/2005/04/marzipan-boobs.html#comments

I actually like the dress but maybe in a different color.

The dress is cute......on a skinny model at the Versace show.

People, there is no way you can convince me that this isn't better than the Miss Haversham wedding dress.(Woo the boys, Mariah!Win their love! Break their hearts!) I just know Mimi has a large pink wedding cake made in her image in a walk in freezer somewhere just waiting for Derek Jeter to come to his senses. Meanwhile, she's doing the bride and groom's first dance as husband and wife with a group of masked men who are merely standins for young Derek.(She will also perform this number on Miss Winfrey's show, where it will be know as the"Phantom of the Oprah" dance.Sorry, couldn't resist.) peaking of people who dodged abullet,somewhere the very very,devilish Tommy Mottola is thanking his lucky stars.

WOW!!! Maybe Mariah was on Sabado Gigante last weekend, and decided it would be a good idea to swipe a dress from one of Don Francisco's dancing girls. It was probably just as good an idea as her movie... or any of the albums she's made in the last 10 years.

I really do want there to be matching hot pants under what should be a breakaways skirt. Then the Barbie analogy would be complete. Oooh, maybe if you move her arm up and down her hair length changes!

Wow! There's some Chipendale guys with Harlequinn masks in the background as big chunks of glitter fall. Mariah, you are on fiah.

She looks like a contestant on that dance show hosted by Deney Terrio.

Whatever she's doing, she's lovin' it. Wish I had her meds.

she looks good for a crazy person.

the people crying 'fat'...you're out your goddamned minds. she may be a baker's dozen kinds of crazy, but ma-butterfly-ah is nowhere close to 'fat', 'meaty', 'chunky' or anything of the kind. repeat after me...calista flockhart is a skinnybitch, not a role model.

Only this woman could wear this dress. This is not a compliment to either the dress or the woman.

i do not see anything crazy with this gown, in fact i think mariah had been looking simply gorgeous for this whole period of her promotions, which is quite different from what she used to wear.

mariah is looking fine!

My barbie totally had this dress. I loved it. It had the detachable ruffle so it was more than one dress style. You could take it off and she had just a mini-dress, or you could drape it diaganally and make it a one strap dress. Or you could be really fancy and put it in her hair for a type of crown/tiara effect. I used to wish I could have transformable clothes like those.

Susan, the show you're thinking of I believe was called "Solid Gold" and you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, this is a Solid Gold dress of the first order.

You know, again, one small alteration, and it wouldn't be that bad. If only Mariah had outgrown her penchant for showing off as much of her breasts as legally allowed, the dress would actually sorta work. I'm debating about the color - I certainly wouldn't pick it (but then again, 80% of what I own is black), but she's sorta workin' it. Weird.

Posted by: LA | April 4, 2005 12:55 PM

Mariah is HOT. She's got some issues with just how much she can show, but she's beautiful. And with a voice like that, who cares if she made 'Glitter'? (Well, I got over it)

http://www.xanga.com/elaine_cyl

I think she looks stunning.

Oh Mariah. You are crazy. But this dress is cute and she's worn worse.

Looks like something they would have worn on Dynasty.

Hey!

It's a nice dress!!!!

OK, a bit showy on the top, but it's not as bad as some we've seen!!

The Emancipation of Mimi? Who the hell is Mimi? Her breasts? No, no-that would be Bai Ling.

Well, let's see. Mariah's earrings are nice, at least.

man is mariah CRAZY! in addition to her 2 fake melon implants, she got an additional implant on her right side too!