There are times when my ability to form coherent, complete sentences fails me.
This may be one of those times:
Is Man Paris SERIOUS? White, draw-stringed track pants...with crotchal graffiti? An acid-washed jacket...adorned with kooky man-plaid? Worn together... and not on Halloween? [Although Man Paris would have to be trick-or-treating dressed as Blind Man With Cruel, Joke-Playing Girlfriend for even that to fly.]
There's really only one explanation for this: Man Paris has been ordered by his family to break off his engagement to Paris Paris. Man Paris, however, is terribly scared of Paris Paris's wrath, and is employing the age-old Boy Trick of Acting Like An Ass So She'll Break Up With Him First, and the first item on his list of assholery is, "Dress Like The Derelict Who Lives In Vanilla Ice's Dumpster."
Sadly, what Man Paris has failed to understand is that Paris Paris has an inordinately high tolerance for bad fashion -- as proved by her own wardrobe -- and he is probably going to have to move on to the next items on his list, "Try To Sleep With Nicole Ritchie," "Hit Nicky With Car [Not Too Hard]," and "Give Up Drinking."
Best of luck, Man Paris. Best of luck.
