You know what we truly need in trying times like these? More than hope, more than love, more than money?
Peldons.
[Photo by Daily Celeb.]
Courtney wants you to know that she has been very busy lately, what with all the work it takes to crimp her hair and get fitted for customized knee-pads (no starlet can live without 'em!) and inflate her chest to its irregular dimensions -- not to mention all those situps to Pink-ify her pelvis. She's been so slammed, in fact -- both with that and the riding boots she's trying to break in before she saunters into Vogue and pitches herself as The American Madge: A Country Lass In The Big City -- that she left a clip in part of her hair. But she's going to leave it that way, because dammit, what America wants right now is to keep it REAL.
Brown Peldon, on the other hand, is just happy to be out of the house. She's been living the hip-hip life, see, writing incisive rap songs about drugs and sex that nobody will ever hear while lazing around in bed wearing lingerie and making the pool boy feed her peeled grapes. She's forgotten that when Courtney drags her out for a reassuring photo op during our national nightmare, she might need to do a little more than just throwing on old misshapen Weekend Jeans under her nightie.
But we like it that way. In these times of frightening and dire change, we need a little consistency. We need our security blankets. We need Courtney and Ashley Peldon... now, more than ever.
