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November 23, 2005

AMAs Fug Carpet: Nicky and Paris Hilton

Am I the only one who finds it suspicious that NICKY Hilton is dressed like a Vegas call girl and PARIS Hilton is wearing something classy, demure, flattering and actually pretty?

Is this some kind of Sweet Valley High Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield Trade Places For the Day Because Jessica Really Needs Elizabeth to Pretend to Be Her To Get Out of a Scrape And Elizabeth Is Too Much of a Pushover to Say No type of thing? Like, is Nicky attempting to pass as Paris so she can later, say, break up with Stavros without accidentally sleeping with him on videotape first? She better watch out, because playing the Elizabeth to a Jessica Wakefield is dangerous. Next thing you know, Nicky Hilton is gonna get in a motorcycle accident and awake from a coma thinking she IS Paris and she'll start doing things like running around town with a monkey and then the only thing that will get her out of it, as avid readers of Sweet Valley High 7: Dear Sister know, will be if she happens to drunkenly roll off a coffee table and conk her head. Save yourself, Nicky! Everyone secretly hated Elizabeth Wakefield for being such an mealy-mouthed easy mark. Don't let Paris talk you into going out looking like the trashy one.

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Bai Ling

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A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?

Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.

Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!

Thank you! Click here to find out all the details!

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