So I kind of have no opinion on the Travis Barker/Shanna Moakler union. She's very pretty, and kind of amusingly forthright in all the interviews I've read, and they seem happy enough. I know she just had a baby, so it's nice that they're getting a night out and about. However:
[I know, the picture is so much smaller than the ones we usually feature and I can't quite figure out what happened, but let's all avert our eyes from my technical ineptitude and pretend everything is just fine.]
She looks fine -- a bit tired, but, hello, just had a baby -- although her coat looks a bit like she accidentally closed it in the car door and dragged in along the asphalt all the way to the club.
But him. Oh dear God. As far as I'm concerned, whatever you decide to wear out for an evening, it should NOT make you look as though you somehow tripped and got trapped in the rack and had your extremities stretched an extra painful six inches. Like, why does his neck look so long? And if his legs were a normal, non-mancropped length, would his neck still look so elongated? [Because I feel like if one part of you looks weirdly long, making another part of you -- say your legs -- look freakishly short is only going to make the long part look longer...right? And then we're in a proportional nightmare the likes of which I can not fathom.] Is the "funhouse mirror" look what the kids are doing these days? And as Travis Barker is about my age, am I supposed to get used to men my age running around with superfluous bits of ankles and wrists and necks poking out of their clothing in awkward and unnatural ways? Or is this a punk thing, of which I am unaware? So many questions, and no answers. And now I'm really tired.
