When I first saw this photograph, I thought, "I've about had it with Bebe Neuwirth thinking that tights are the same thing as pants. I love her, and I will never forget the time she played the spoons at Woody and Kelly's wedding, but she looks like she forgot to finish getting dressed." And then I started to worry that maybe she's suffering from some sort of dementia in which she thinks, as an Anne Taintor magnet on my fridge proclaims, "Her life is a Broadway musical." And then I realized that if it rains, she is totally hosed, as this garment was clearly constructed from what used to be her umbrella before she ripped it off the wire, stapled it around her body, and reinforced it with a neck ribbon.
Later, however, I saw photos of her wearing this outfit down a runway, which leads me to believe that somebody professional designed this... this... wow, I don't know what to call it, because I think a dress should by definition hang more than an inch below your lady folds. Ergo, I'm frustrated that the fashion industry is apparently trying to stamp out the mighty trouser. Because although I secretly love the idea of a world in which we all walk around ready to deploy jazz hands at any moment, I really do think it's unwise to make nylon the foundation of our society.
