Emma Griffiths, the host of Total Request Live in the UK, presents reason #947 not to sell your soul to the devil:
He won't stop at sucking the life out of your eyes, nor will he be satisfied by merely condemning you to a life in the ghoulish spandex prison known as "leggings." No, Satan is fully prepared to do all of the above while also forcing you to wear a misshapen tube dress in an unforgiving wrinkle-prone satin, forcing you to spend an entire evening looking like a wince-worthy walking wrinkle and prompting your grandmother to send you a portable steamer for your next birthday, along with a note that reads, "You're usually such a pretty girl."
So. Midlife Satanism: Don't do it.
