Remember Kim Stolz, the snarky lesbian on America's Next Top Model's fifth "cycle"? Have you ever wondered what she might be up to now? And have you ever thought that grouping an all-female modeling show in "cycles" is a poor, unfortunate, and crudely evocative choice of language?
Well, I'm here to tell you: Yes to the latter, and as for the former, she is going through something of an unfortunate Steven Tyler phase.
Get a hold of yourself now, Kim. This is a slippery slope. Save yourself before the jacket suddenly gets replaced by something shinier. Then you're a mere bender away from finding yourself strolling around shirtless, covered only by a large flapping vest, some tattoos, and some sort of necktie; then, quicker than a Diane Warren key change, you're suddenly staying home nights to stretch your lips out with a complicated assemblage of pulleys and forceps, while counting the pennies in your Tyra Bank to see if you can afford those horse-teeth implants.
So... be careful, is all I'm saying. I mean, if Tyra and Mr. Jay thought you'd look good as a Kentucky Derby winner, they'd have taken care of it already.
