Congratulations to gospel singer Soyara Moraes, winner of a silver medal in "Conceptual Fug: How to Abuse and Besmirch The Almighty Dust Ruffle."
We would show you the winner, but the poor sap was knocked on her derriere when an overenthusiastic event staffer tried to vacuum up under her, and the subsequent head injury sent her to the hospital. Fortunately, we know Soraya here can undertake all the necessary chores usually handed to the title holder, which include but aren't limited to allowing for the temporary storage up under her garment of dusty and unused abdominal exercise equipment, sex toys, and bills we don't want our parents to find right away if we die in an untimely accident.
