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January 8, 2007

Fugs On A Scandal

Sometimes Cate Blanchett leaves me speechless at her elegance; other times, merely speechless.

The worst Project Runway contestant could probably put something together in 8 hours that didn't wrinkle, crinkle, bubble, and gap as badly as this electric blue malfunction does. Who is responsible for this art-deco nightmare? Was this a tragic wallpapering accident? Did a one-eyed drunk monkey attack her with pleather and a staple gun? Or has she been to the future, and returned with this weirdly encoded sartorial warning of doom? And if not, can we lie about it, and tell Lindsay Lohan that the unencrypted message on the dress says, "Bury your BlackBerry in the yard -- TRUST US"?

God, I can't wait to see what she comes up with for the Golden Globes. The pendulum is due to swing back to spectacular, but with Cate Blanchett one never can tell.

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A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?

Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.

Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!

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