NIC CAGE: Kelly, lemme tell you something.
KELLY CLARKSON: Is it that you were so taken with how good I look in this color green that it took you twenty minutes to realize that, despite how fetching the shade is, it's attached to a set of overalls, and that's only okay if you are a farmer, in the late stages of pregnancy, or trapped in 1996?
NIC: No.
KELLY: Is it that you like me with my hair this length, and you're glad I'm not blonde anymore?
NIC: No, although that's true.
KELLY: Is it about From Justin to Kelly? Because if it is, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to bring up Captain Corelli's Mandolin.
NIC: That film was a sensitive exploration of...something! Love, or Italy or something! Sensitive! You wore a SKIRT OF TIES in From Justin to Kelly.
KELLY: And I rocked it.
NIC: That's not what I was going to say, ANYWAY, before you get all DEFENSIVE about your TIES.
KELLY: What is it, old man? I'm not going to marry you, either, just so you know.
NIC: You're sassy. I like that.
KELLY: Please don't do this.
NIC: Sorry, I got distracted. I wanted to ask you what you thought of my new look. It's sort of Ghost Rider meets John Wayne plus a little tiny bit of Elvis, because I am obsessed with Elvis and take a piece of him with me everywhere, with just a SPLASH of Stetson cologne. What do you think?
KELLY: I think you look weird.
NIC: Weird? Weird how?
KELLY: I dunno. You're Nicolas Cage. You don't wear cowboy hats. You look like you're going to the funeral of a rodeo clown or something.
NIC: You ARE sassy. Why don't you scoot a little bit closer?
KELLY: Leave me alone.
