"Hey guys!
What's up? I'm totally running late. My ice dancing recital ran WAY over because I couldn't find my left boot and all this other drama happened behind the scenes, like, you have no idea how crazy it is on the ice-dancing circuit, man, and I totally didn't have time to change out of my outfit so I'm here at the Grammys in a costume designed to convey the drama and glamour of Swan Lake if it happened at Xanadu, because that's what our routine is -- my partner Fabrizo made the most awesome mash-up called Xanadu Lake and I play a duck that's also a Muse and I die at the end, it's totally touching, and we would have won if I actually knew how to skate, which I don't, as it turns out -- and, anyway, I really hope no one realizes that I was actually supposed to be here in a totally different outfit. Also, I might have gotten my bangs caught between the blades of Fabrizo's skates one of the times I fell down. Do you think they have any alcohol inside?"
