Katarina Witt has got to step outside her Ice Capades comfort zone.
Does she think we won't recognize her if she's not wearing glitter, or something conducive to pitching in just in case a raucous skate-off breaks out at the party? Honey, you're Katarina Witt! You are the beautiful East German goddess who won six European skating championships in a row and two consecutive Olympic gold medals! You captured our hearts so much that we weren't even really rooting for poor ol' Debi Thomas of the U.S.A. (sorry, Debi; it's nothing personal) because we wanted to be tall and graceful like you! And you won an Emmy for, I kid our readers not, Carmen On Ice in 1990! I promise we will recognize you. Or, more accurately, that we in particular at GFY will recognize you. Which means you can run but you can't hide, so maybe look into broadening your shopping experience, okay?
Unless you are at a gala for the ice version of Anne of Green Gables and you are playing the inspirational, uplifting schoolteacher Miss Stacey, in which case, hooray, and go forth and eat dinner at Marilla and Matthew's house. But, a word of advice: Don't eat the dessert, because Anne accidentally lost a dead rat in it, although she'll scream that at you herself in a minute. I guess I kind of scooped her on that one. Whoops.
