Pop quiz, darlings! This will count for ten percent of your grade in Fug 101: Fugology Basics.
America's Next Top Model runner-up Melrose Bickerstaff:
a) was so overcome by the trauma of her loss that she finally surrendered to the dark side and allowed herself to become a child of the night, feasting on the blood of humans and occasionally turning -- when appropriate -- into a bat. The upside to this, of course, is that she's finally stopped the aging process.
b) really finds, you know, inspiration in the story of Little Red Riding Hood, and likes to imagine that she is the titular heroine, while Tyra Banks is the Big Bad Wolf whose stomach she will eventually get to hack through in order to rescue someone innocent who Tyra has eaten (probably Twiggy).
c) is just really into Superman
You have ten minutes to complete this quiz. Extra credit will be given for anyone who can trace, in three paragraphs or less, the connection between Melrose's cape and the absence of Janice Dickinson from the ANTM judging panel. If applicable, place a special emphasis on the spoken word poetry of former contestant Jade, especially her work "Leftover Lady."
