Marianne Jean-Baptiste is awesome on Without A Trace -- the cliffhanger wherein we thought her bum heart was going to take her out elicited a very loud, "oh NO!" in my living room -- and the part she played in Secrets and Lies, for which she was, I believe, nominated for an Academy Award, has the best name: Hortense Cumberbatch. If I were a celebrity trying to avoid a mob of fans, "Hortense Cumberbatch" is the alias I would use when sneaking into hotels. That way, said mob would just have to hang out in the lobby and wait for me to come down, a technique you may have observed on the seminal episode of 90210 where Donna -- stalking Color Me Badd at the Bel Age hotel -- discovers that h er mother is having an affair. Adding to her misfortune, Donna is wearing argyle hot pants when this happens. Anyway. M J-B: cool. This look on her: well....see for yourself:
Don't try to confine your breasts in a linen prison, Marianne! Allow them to bounce free, as God intended! Don't sentence your skirt to a life of wrinkles! Choose something that doesn't look like you've been keeping it balled up in the corner of your closet like a moldy towel! Live, Marianne! Live in something that doesn't have a phantom ruffle sprouting from your hip like the eye on a potato. Live!
