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April 5, 2007

Are You On The Fugs?


[Source.]

Hayden Panettiere is learning the hard way just how penetrating a photographer's flash can be. Although, as lingerie goes, hers is relatively unrevealing; maybe she knew this thing would be transparent and was trying to be modest about it, as contradictory as that would seem. But I prefer to think Hayden is smart enough to read blogs and gossip magazines and say to herself, "Where crusty Lindsay Lohan goes, I am loath to tread."

Except, translated into 17-year old. So maybe more like, "Dude, Lindsay is f'ed. I know we have the same hair now, but seriously, slap me if you start seeing my boobs all the time." I want to trust the cute, clean, sensible image she generally projects, and therefore, I want to believe this was an accident, and she'll go to kind Steven Carrington -- aka Horned-Rim -- for advice one day on the set of Heroes, and he'll tell her that it's all just part of growing up and that she should stay strong (he will have just watched The Tyra Banks Show, see, and will have that advice at his fingertips) and not let this break her, but also, she should carefully protect her woman spaces since she's just a teenager still; then they will hug and she'll think, "Wow, my TV dad is, like, totally hot and wise; I should fix him up with Lauren Graham or something," and everything will be okay. Because there's nothing Steven Carrington can't fix. Nothing.

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A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?

Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.

Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!

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