Undeniably, regardless of how he has since violated certain pieces of mid-priced furniture, Tom Cruise has had a great career. A young actor like Sean Faris could certainly do worse than emulating it. I mean, poor old Sean was most recently on your TV screens as a paralysis-faking dipwad in the awesomely terrible Reunion, in which each episode flashed back to another year in the lives of a group of friends and consisted entirely of wretched wigs and winking exchanges like the following:
GIRL: Ew, why are you in that grungy flannel?
GUY: EVERYONE in Seattle dresses like this!
GIRL: Ha! That will NEVER catch on.
So we can completely understand why Sean would try to take a page from Cruise's book. We just wouldn't have advised ripping it out of the chapter entitled, "Me & My Flowbee: A Love Story."
Clearly you're blinded by admiration, so let me put this in Tom Cruise parlance you might understand: Your bangs are writing checks your forehead can't cash.
They also might be obscuring your vision of your teeth. Look, I'm not judging, because we've all used them with varying levels of success and catastrophe, but still: You might need to switch tooth whiteners. As it stands, you are the "before" and the "after" photo rolled into one, which is a neat trick, but not one Tom would endorse. He's meticulous about his choppers, since they take up 40 percent of his face.
Maybe you should flip through that chapter next. But not until you trim your bangs; there's no WAY you can read through those things.
