Dina Lohan, if you want to be the next Oprah or the next Ellen or the next Rosie, or whoever it is you said you wanted to be (I don't listen to you much), you've got to do one thing. Okay, two things. First: step in and fix your kid. If Lynn Spears could manage to band together with Kevin freaking Federline to get Britney into Promises, I feel like there's got to be some way you can prevent Lindsay from being photographed snorting blow. I mean, at the very LEAST convince her to do it in private. The girl is ruining her career AND her septum. The other thing you need to do is throw out your culottes:
I have a pair of those. They are SHAMEFULLY comfortable, but I would wear them in public only if my house burst into flames. I got them at Urban Outfitters three years ago. And I think it's safe to say that if college girls have stopped wearing something to 8am classes, you need to stop wearing that something on the red carpet.
Or people are going to look at you like this:
