Tobey Maguire: Hey, I'm just a regular guy! Totally regular! Like Peter Parker!
Kirsten Dunst: Why am I here? I could be buying the Kate Moss line at Top Shop right now.
Topher Grace: I'm ALSO just a regular guy! But between you and me, I'm cuter than Tobey, right? I thought so.
Bryce Dallas Howard: I can't believe how big my boobs are after having my baby. My rack looks awesome.
Thomas Hayden Church: Aw, shit. I forgot to tuck in my shirt.
James Franco: I'm hot, even if I am dressed kinda like Dylan McKay: The Heroin Years.
Damian Fahey: None of the girls in the audience today even care about me. DAMN YOU FRANCO.
Tobey: That guy you dated last year totally had these shoes, didn't he? I'm so relatable.
Kirsten: I'm not sure how I feel about my shoes. I know they're sort of trendy, but I feel like an extra in Gladiator: The Funeral. I wonder if I can talk Bryce into getting a drink with me later. I'm SO BORED.
Topher: I wonder if I could hook up with Kiki after this. She looks bored. I bet I could talk her into it. I'll ask her to go for a drink.
Bryce: On second thought, I don't really like the hem on this dress. But on the whole, I look awesome. My red hair is great. I just had a baby, bitches! Suck it!
Thomas: Am I too old for MTV?
James: I wonder if they'd ever remake 90210. I would act the shit out of that story arc where Dylan finds out that his dad DIDN'T die in a fiery car bomb, but instead was in the FBI Witness Protection Program.
Damian: Is this hour almost over?
