SETH: So, you guys, funny story... My brother dared me to wipe my face with an orange peel, right, and then I fell asleep in the sun, and then...
SETH: Um, what I mean is, he paid me $50 to drink 10 gallons of Sunny Delight, and...
SETH: Ha, just kidding, you guys are so gullible. What REALLY happened is the dog ate some, um, pumpkin, and then licked my face...
SETH: Oh, FINE, Samberg, you WIN, okay? You don't have a nice shirt to wear ANYWHERE, on ANY occasion, but you can't play along with me? WHATEVER. Look, all right, here it is: I USED TOO MUCH BRONZER -- like you can really judge sometimes, LORNE -- and now I look kind of psychedelic but you know what? SCREW YOU ALL. I do Weekend Update, bitches. I'm America's freaking SWEETHEART. And don't pretend to me that Fallon didn't have a day like this because I will NOT BELIEVE that pretty boy didn't preen, okay? You get me? DO YOU ALL GET ME?
SETH: Sorry, John -- er, Mr. Madden. I'm fine. It's going to be fine. I'm ready for some football. Go back to talking about tight ends getting pounded. I'll just be here hoping you don't mistake my face for a football.
