As I was getting off a plane recently, I heard the little girl behind me trying to explain to her mother the subtle differences between AJ and Aly Michalka, and how they got to be famous. I tried so hard to remember so that I could report back to Jessica, but my eyes glazed over; then I looked at the mother and saw that HER eyes were glazed over and her brow was furrowed and she seemed confused and was murmuring, "Okay..." and I knew then and there that the very concept of Aly&AJ is not meant to be understood by anyone old enough to drink legally.
And yet, the Aly&AJ World Pseudo-Recognition Tour continues apace:
From what we've gleaned here at GFY HQ through as little actual research or work as possible, one of them is 16 and one of them is 18. The one on the right seems to be Carrie Underwood crossed with Ashley Tisdale (and by the way, congrats to Ashley Tisdale for shaking off the mantle of HER sister and becoming a cultural reference all her own) and the other is kind of Courtney Peldon with a dash of Olsen Twin. I can't discern what, in fact, that one is wearing. It appears to be a cropped tee tied over... another shirt. Or a scarf tied over a white top. Honestly, I stopped caring the minute I realized that the other one is wearing pants from when she was 12 and a shirt advertising a song that came out BEFORE SHE WAS EVEN ALIVE, which she probably only chose because it says "Blondie" on it and SHE'S blond TOO and coincidentally also wants you to call her. Which I will do, to alert her that I embraced a similar concept (plus some pink spray in my hair) when I went as Cyndi Lauper for Halloween in 1986, at which point she will say, "Lauper what?" and my head will explode.
They also appear to have an album out called Insomniatic because nobody bothered to suggest that they use an ACTUAL word, and some of the songs that probe the rich puddles of teen emotion include "Like Whoa" and the simple, stark eloquence of, "รท." For real.Because math is pain, people. In related news, I'd like to announce the commencement of my young-adult songwriting career, beginning with such hits as, "Yes/No/Circle One" and "'F' is for 'Physics'." They'll be ready for purchase in about 15 minutes. Call you, Michalka-On-The-Right? No. You call me.
