Cute dress on ScarJo here, but what's the deal with her face?
Look: I know what this girl usually looks like. And she's really, really good-looking. So how is it possible that ScarJo's been plonked on the cover of Elle looking (facially, anyways) like a moderately bloated, totally cranky college freshman who's just been informed that the cafeteria ran out of fat-free cream cheese? There is no way someone at Elle didn't look at this shot and say, "dude, what happened to her neck?" and then someone else probably said, "You've been watching a lot of Top Model, eh?" and then the first person was probably all, "NO. I...I love it! No one has necks for fall, haven't you heard?" And now, when all poor ScarJo wants to do is read the article about the benefits of alcohol (whoo!) or "What One Woman Did to Save Her Butt" (which I admit that I SHOULDN'T want to read -- because seriously, how bad could her butt have been? -- but I totally do, because HOW BAD WAS HER BUTT? I have to know!) but she is constantly greeted by the image of herself making an uncharacteristically generic bloaty face, kind of looking the way the rest of us do when we stumble into the bathroom after a night of beer and wings. Although thinking about wings makes me think about my own butt and in doing so, I am pretty sure I just discovered the method to this mad, mad cover: ScarJo is merely helpfully illustrating the face that woman made when she realized what she was going to have to do to save her butt.
