An Open Letter to Kim Kardashian:
Dear Kim,
Okay. Enough. We get it. We all get it. The whole world was cc'ed on your memo. You are hot. Hot hot hot. Hot like fire. Hot like lava. Hot like the flames on the side of my face that erupt when I think about how I'm now supposed to find you interesting enough to have a reality show. Message received.
[Photo: infdaily.com]
And here's a little message for you, just a little tip, something that I think will serve you well in years to come: When we can all essentially see the seams of your Spanx, it WON'T HURT YOU TO GO UP A SIZE. No one can see the tag on your dress but you and the individual who unzips you at night! And if that person makes some kind of sizing-related commentary, you best eject him or her from your boudoir and consider that time saved. So, unless you've accepted a position as the spokesmodel for Casey's Sausage Casings and Meat Accessories, there is absolutely no need for you to go out in something this tight, and it actually seems like it might be injurious to your internal organs. Let's give the girls a little breathing room, shall we?
