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November 29, 2007

Nip/Fug

Dear Joely Richardson,

I didn't like this on Mischa Barton, and I don't care for it on you. (Speaking of the erstwhile Marissa Cooper, where has she gotten to? I miss that crazy headband-wearing kid.) There's something about it that just screams Cocktail Waitress At Spaceman's! Disneyland's Misguided, Quasi-Futuristic Tomorrowland Bar, Soon To Be Replaced By a Giant Make-Your-Own Churro Stand. And surely you can understand that the only reference to spacemen that we can accept are those referring to Dr. Leo Spaceman, my favorite television doctor ever. Get back to me when you're wearing a tee shirt with Chris Parnell's face on it, and we'll talk.

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A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?

Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.

Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!

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