Keri Hilson, in addition to having a debut album coming out at some point, is a longtime songwriter. You may know her from Britney Spears' "Gimme More," which you probably can't get out of your head despite the fact that you are trying really hard, because supporting it feels like endorsing Wrecked Britney; in a way, it's Hilson's fault if you, say, wound up with that song on your iTunes and inadvertently boogie -- yes, BOOGIE -- in your chair when it comes on while I... um, I mean YOU... casually read gossip blogs on the Intertubes.
Not that it's Hilson's fault that Britney makes me sad. I'm sure Keri is a very nice girl. She's certainly pretty:
Unfortunately, it deteriorates from there. Obviously, the legwarmers are a refried slice of crazy, but what really confounds me is the jacket. What is the point of all those zippers? Why is there a short one on her cuff? What happens if you keep zipping up all the way around her shoulders? Do the sleeves come off completely, leaving her with a very elaborate bib? Or do they adjoin somehow in the back and become a cape? What am I supposed to take from this -- that I cannot truly contemplate the zippers of others until I have examined my own? If "X.Y.Z.P.D.Q." is the title of her first single, I might begin to understand. Otherwise the jacket just feels as if it's a pointless display that's all frills and no function or substance -- kind of like whatever new razor added one more blade than the other guy's. Or the Pussycat Dolls.
