It was so thoughtful of these men to hustle Claudia Schiffer so quickly out of Valentino's Paris haute couture show.
One simply can't expose one's supermodel self to public scrutiny when one is evoking the most famous fought-over, virginity-surrendering Spring Dance gown of all time. Kelly Taylor would claw her nose off, Brenda would promptly slam the door in Claudia's bloodied, pulpy face after screaming, "I HATE YOU BOTH. NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN," and Dylan would be stuck cooing, "Relax, Bren, you know the drill -- I don't start digging blondes until you go to Paris," while David Silver busts a convulsive groove in his loud silk shirt. Somewhere, six feet under, Aaron Spelling's body is twitching with yearning for this missed reunion-movie opportunity. And Valentino is wondering how he ever got mentioned in the same sentence as Beverly Hills, 90210. You're welcome, V.
