Friday is FINALLY here. We are thrilled; it's been a long week for us - we're currently traveling for work and blogging by candlelight in the wee hours, so thanks for putting up with our often hugely slap-happy ramblings, which for us feel scrawled on the back of our hands with a sinister blood quill a la Dolores Umbridge's torture method in the fifth Harry Potter book. Anyway, the net effect is that, in addition to getting behind on other things -- like sleeping, and eating vegetables -- I am lagging on a post I'd been meaning to do all week about Ghost Whisperer.
I know, you guys are probably sort of sick of hearing us yap about cheesy television shows you likely ignore but we love for inexplicable -- well, totally explicable, but maybe only to us -- reasons. But hear me out: I was way behind on my episodes, so I didn't realize that back in November, their rogue costumer struck again.
[Photo: My TV set and a digital camera]
Ahoy, Jay Mohr! First of all, what are you even doing on Ghost Whisperer? Don't you usually play a fast-talking jackhole, as opposed to the fast-talking family-friendly academic you're playing here? Granted, your snarky comments are becoming the show's only bright spot, but it's still really jarring to see you doing gentle weekend television and spewing stuff about the occult and the spirit world and Chinese takeaway instead of cussing out some poor schmoe. Second, please do tell us how you managed to avert your eyes from Jennifer Love Hewitt's insane shirt. It looks like her elbows are wearing a wedding dress. They are the brides of Fuggenstein. And third, are Jennifer Love Hewitt's arms actually that freakishly short, or is it just an optical illusion? It reminds me of the Seinfeld Puffy Shirt. If she's going on the Today show tomorrow to hawk it for charity, I will feel bad. But not as bad as if I'd been forced to wear it. I'm beginning to understand why actresses become divas -- it's to stop stuff like this from happening to them at the hands of other people who don't understand how long a human's arms are supposed to look.
However, this was not the most grievous offense of Rogue Costumer. That was merely the icing on this chewy, billowy, trouser cake. With apologies for the quality of the photos, behold:
When she hopped out of the prop car in these pants, my friend and I quite seriously started yelling, "PANTS! PANTS! PANTS!" and had to pause the TV to stare at each other, frantically gesturing our amazement because we had completely lost the power of speech. They are, in a word, bad. So, so feet-munchingly bad.
Why would you put a curvy girl in those? For one thing, they don't fit -- she's in the middle of a scene, she's wearing a belt, and she's STILL desperately hiking them up a bit. For another, they are so wide-legged, you could fit an extremely impressive arsenal of weapons up the legs (a rifle here, a bazooka there), perhaps for use against the next person who tells you, "NO,dude, wide-legged pleat-front jeans are SO HOT RIGHT NOW."
And finally, because it bears repeating, they look dreadful on her. Camryn Manheim is putting on an effective game face, but she also appears to be holding the "Sold" sign firmly away from the vicious trousers in question, so as not to imply to readers that she is in any way sold on them as a garment. Those pants destroy poor Jennifer's hips, and I can't help but hope that she marched into the costumer's office and threw a full-on fit.
Okay, fine, I can't blame the costumer entirely. Lady Lo.Hew should've stuck up for her figure, or else she wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. I just can't believe this show sucked the joy out of Melinda finally being dressed in seasonally appropriate garb -- usually, in this scenario, Camryn would be in a wool coat and Jennifer would be wearing a strapless sundress. Frankly, I'd take that if it meant these pants would be buried forever, somewhere that not even the most skilled conversationalist with The Great Beyond could attract their demented, bloating, hip-mangling spirit.
