Per usual, voting closes after about 24 hours; contestants should be judged on whose fug crimes are deemed most severe, based on a whole host of criteria and not merely the photo we've provided. After all, assessing a career's worth of fug is like opening a bag of potato chips: You can't eat just one.
(7) RENEE ZELLWEGER vs. (10) KATIE HOLMES
Mrs. Kat(i)e Holmes Cruise has been a fascinating makeover story in the past 12 months, which I guess is what the national spotlight and a massively enhanced clothing budget will do to a girl -- not to mention the friendship of one Posh Spice, which we hope is partly responsible for the disappearance of this disaster. She's evolved into the Queen of Fug or Fab, often taking chances that we can't quite decide if we love or hate -- or if it's some combination of the two. For instance, here, I'll take the bob but leave the dress. Or, love the bob AGAIN, but think the purse is big enough to fit her husband.
Or, love the bob YET AGAIN, but hate how this dress and her posture make it look like she had her arms lopped off and replaced with those of Yao Ming. The controversial toga, I rather enjoyed on her, but the sling, not so much. And then there's her husband, but that's enough for a whole other essay.
Renee Zellweger's candidacy, on the other hand, can be summed up almost entirely by one image:
Okay, so this green Oscar sheath wasn't my favorite, but seriously, that is some really bad hair. REALLY bad. Nay, cataclysmically bad, because it seems like she's working to maintain it. She's also sporting wretched makeup and a tragic pasta problem, in that she's clearly not eating enough of it. Please, Renee, restyle yourself immediately. If not for us, then for the children.
Both of these women have completed Tom Cruise at one point or another. The question now is, which one is caught in a more consuming cycle of fug?
(2) GWEN STEFANI vs. (15) BRITTANY MURPHY
Our two-seed, obviously, is practically able to ditch her last name and coast on just "Gwen" until the end of time -- and is almost Bjorkian in her efforts to wear things that are completely insane yet almost, almost, look normal just because she's established such a reliably odd pattern.
Not many people would wear a sequined romper over a tie and shirt. Fergie wishes she were this naturally daft. Often, though, it feels like Gwen is dressing for shock value rather than a consistent style. Consider this demented ode to an obi, perhaps, or her animal-print hot pants with hair that looks like a snack food, and let's not forget this dowdy Puritanical smock. It's so all over the place that she often looks like she's parodying herself. (There's ever so much more; those links are just a sample.) We appreciate that she's always trying, but sometimes we wish the effort weren't so visible, like a giant sweat-stain slowly seeping through her entire wardrobe.
Conversely, poor ol' duck-lipped -- of her own making, so I don't feel bad about saying it -- Brittany Murphy used to be more benignly nutty, like with this super-tiny skirt or trussed-up, blonded, and bronzed to within an inch of her life. Or wearing a dress made out of sweatshirt material.
Wrapping a jersey bedsheet around your bra and securing it with a velvet ribbon... well, it's a very Top Chef-style "You can only use three ingredients to make an outfit" approach to a gown. She looks happy, but then, so would anyone who could get naked and make a bed on the spot at the merest sight of George Clooney. But then Brittany sort of disappeared for a while, only to resurface at Fashion Week looking like a sexagenarian aviatrix turned bingo champion. With mouth issues. Seriously, what has she done to herself? Did she really need that?
So, as with a lot of these contests, it's a stalwart vs. an upstart -- an impressively fugly body of work against a few recent, but very terrible, mistakes.
(3) PARIS HILTON vs. (14) ELISHA CUTHBERT
These two used to be, and maybe still are, the best of pals -- and allegedly sucked face not too long ago in a heated moment of sapphic desperation (well, one can only assume Elisha was desperate; there is no other good reason to gay it up with creepy Paris, unless it turns out her mouth is made of bacon).
Elisha is a really pretty girl who, when she's not choking herself in taffeta, manages to dowdify -- is that a word? Well, it is now -- her good looks with either oversized men's clothes and feet-eating pants or the most drab outfits you can imagine.
It's very zzzzzzzz.... ack, sorry. It's hard to stay awake with this one.And I don't even KNOW what's on her feet, but they look like she shoved her toes into the shoebox itself, still brimming with tissue paper.
Paris, on the other hand, fancies herself a... well, she just fancies herself, period. Rather than erring on the side of drab, as with her fellow tongue-swordsman up there, Paris often goes extremely costumey. Or, you know, accessorizes with a fake monk, although who among us hasn't made THAT mistake at least once? And let's not forget her tendency to DEMAND that you remember who she is, via dresses or shirts or just showing you as much of what she's got as possible. That is, when she isn't going overboard looking as formal as possible.
But even that looks like a nickel trying to pass itself off as a silver dollar. For someone dripping with that many jewels, she looks awfully inexpensive in that bubblegum bodystocking. And do I detect a junior-level polterwang under there? Or are those just incredibly structured granny panties?
This one boils down to dowdy vs. rowdy; you make the call.
6) ALI LARTER vs. (11) KIMBERLY STEWART
Frankly, we're totally sick of how often Ali Larter wears white. Or strapless sheaths. She also frequently looks incredibly dated (scroll past the wonder of Bai Ling and you'll see). And did I mention the thing about how she likes white?
She also apparently likes disco and looking like you could use her chest as a cutting board. How very Rachel Zoe of her! Plus, we hear from reliable sources -- one of which is our own ears -- that she often acts like a vicious hosebeast, which doesn't help her cause.
Kim Stewart, on the other hand, might well be the nicest person on the planet. I mean, it's possible. Anything is. But she came off so pathetic and fame-needy back in the days when she would dress like Paris, pose like Paris, and try to glom onto Paris's career -- remember when they were inseparable for about a month while trying to convince the people at E! that Kimberly could replace Nicole Richie on The Simple Life, and then how Paris dumped her willowy behind like a hot plate of carbs when her bosses clearly didn't agree? Sad. It's like she can't find her own identity -- she's either trying to chase Paris or trying to ape Posh, or perhaps some sort of weird Lohan-Olsen hybrid. See? Here she is doing it again. And, because it's a requirement in Young Hollywood today, she also seems really excited about flirting with pelvic danger:
A crotch covered in nylon doesn't automatically become invisible, Kimberly, so be careful out there. And especially avoid waving your hands in the air like you just don't care, because I promise you, the next morning when you see the pictures you'll care a lot.
So which is it? The boring maybe-beeyotch on a hit series, who should know better, or the daughter of rock royalty who has no identity of her own?
I'll admit it - I voted for Gwen because I think she does fugly on purpose, which, I feel, reigns far more supreme than does Brittany "but I think it's cute!" Murphy. If you're gonna go fug, do it with unwavering committment.
I feel the exact opposite of Lorraine-Gwen is so cute, but Brittany just makes me think WTF?
I could not agree with Lorraine's comment more. OWN the fug, embrace it. These people have to look in a mirror before they leave the house. If you are going to FUG go all the way.
Yay comments! (I just had to say it again.)
Maybe I should be embarrassed, but I actually like the dresses in Kat(i)e's pictures. All but the sling, anyway (was that designed by Rami Kashou, hater of the left boob?). So, Zellweger is a hands down winner.
I also voted for Brittany Murphy on the strength of her duck lips alone. Yikes. Plus, Gwen seems to manage to get away with her fugalicious wardrobe. I don't know why.
The big question raised by the Larter vs. Stewart match-up is: is Aubrey O'Day copying Kim Stewart's headband, or the other way around? Either way, those headbands HAVE GOT TO GO. I'm sure Diddy would agree with me wholeheartedly.
Zellweger over Holmes: Toughest call of the day so far, but that hair IS pretty dire.
Stefani over Murphy: I've never gotten Stefani's "style" and think she usually dresses like a clown. Kind of surprising to me that Murphy's doing so "well" here, actually.
Hilton over Cuthbert: Is there even any question?
Stewart over Larter: Larter's problem is mostly that she's boring (her clothes, anyway -- she may be a scintillating conversationalist) so Paris II takes it.
I voted for Elisha because Paris is cute sometimes and looks like she has a lot of fun. She's fake, but she has FUN being fake. Elisha Cuthbert looks dead half the time.
I just have one thing to say regarding Gwen Stefani's fug: tiny army of Japanese girls. Anyone who accessorizes with human beings has taken fug to a whole new level.
This is so great! These were not too hard to pick. I think that Paris Hilton is going to go a long way. She is pretty crazy. I can't wait to vote more!
I finally realized why Renee's haircut is so offensive: because she stole it from Chad Michael Murray's Season 4 Lucas Scott. I think she might actually be trying to become him. It didn't work then, and it certainly doesn't work now. Although now that I think about it , there ARE parallels between Luke and Renee. Both have creepy control-freak older men in their lives (her Svengali manager, his father Dan); both had ill-fated relationships with gay aliens end in heartbreak (Kenny Chesney revealing he was a gay alien, Lindsey leaving him at the altar); a medical condition that prohibits them from doing what they love to the best of their ability (severe camera squint-eye, severe camera squint-eye and HCM). None of this is by way of saying the hair is acceptable. It's not. But I feel like I understand her a little more now.
Voted for Brittany, because, I feel like when Gwen does it, you can still say "Well, she's got such a pretty face!" and with Brittany, that's not really true anymore.
Also, I'd take dowdy/frumpy over ANYTHING Paris wears any day!
all my picks are winning, I am so deep in the Fug! you almost had me with the first hose-beast account of La Larter, but damn if Kimberly's fug doesn't smack the white down. also, I must see a Paris and Kimberly match-up...
Please don't vote for "she who should be ignored" (i.e. a certain hotel in France), as she doesn't need any more free publicity. Just make her go away.
I voted for Paris but I kinda felt guilty about doing it because I don't want Paris to win anything, even a contest regarding who is the most fug.
Gwen can't fug, simply because her name is Gwen Stefani. Anyone who would wear her outfits would be a total fugger, because the name is not attached to it!
this round's essentially GIMMIES, but that doesn't stop the intense schaudenfreude-yness! ❤❤
okay, i voted renee without much of an effort...however i have to say that your post about the toga is about the most comically perfect thing ever. made me laugh out loud all over again. I get a perfect visual of Tom that i cant help but chuckle. thank you i needed the laugh.
Tray- Actually, accessorizing with a fake sherpa/yogi is the whole new level you are referring to. They are the new Harajuku girls.
Still, Paris/Gwen are so insane in their embrace of the fug, I can't hate on them for it.
Kristen- regarding the headband, word on the street is that's why Diddy "Did He or Didn't He?" did in Tupac. It was the bandana-headbands he wore. Too much fug. Word.
You know, as unequivocally vile as the loathsome succubus who is the fart in a mitten is, I actually like her fashion sense. I'll be voting against Paris throughout, I suspect.
I wouldn't be surprised if Paris swept the tournament despite her seed position.
Renee Zellweger is just fug, period. So no contest there.
That last picture of Brittany Murphy sealed the deal. No doubt. Pun intended.
How can you NOT vote polterwang? (And, fug ladies - "junior"? I think not.)
I picked Ali Larter based upon the white obsession. And the fact that she wore a t-shirt material dress with cutouts, in 2007.
Score! All my fugs are winning so far. If only my NCAA brackets work out this well, I'll be a happy chica.
On an unrelated note, I'm not sure anyone but Bjork can compete with Courtney Peldon, whose seeding was WILDLY unfair.
Gwen Stefani all the way. It's like she knew back when her career started that someday Fug Madness would come and she wanted to get an early start. Sure it's not accidental Fug, but it's major league fug from start to finish.
Also, Katie Holmes, please stop trying to look like some kind of turn of the century mammy ragdoll? KTNXBAI.
the first thing i noticed about renee zellweger wasn't her hair - it was her face. maybe more foundation? something?
I couldn't vote for Gwen because she rocks the fug so well and so thoroughly that it becomes something else. Because she owns that madness so completely, there's none of the embarrassing vulnerability that is essential to the spirit of fug.
I'm not sure if I can completely bash Renee's hair but ONLY because I'm currently growing out a truly unfortunate haircut (tears and xanax) that went through a similar phase and required 3 rehab/reshaping cuts to look somewhat decent. Sort of. But she has more money than I do.
I was thisclose to slapping the Fug on Stefani, but then that last Brittany Murphy picture quite literally made me jump out of my chair. Girlfriend is scary. And Elizabeth I totally agree. That is not a junior polterwang on La Paris, that is a big swinging polterwang to the 9th degree. I'm going to have nightmares about that one for a very long time.
Thank you so much for letting us post comments!
Anyway, I actually think Katie Holmes looks awesome now. I used to not. But now I do (except for that yao ming-arms dress). The baby sling, the toga.. her hair! So cute! (Although I only like that baby sling dress on her)
I had the hardest time deciding between Elisha and Paris because... I have a weakness for costumes! I ended up voting for Paris though because she just looks so trashy. Costumes are supposed to be awesome, not trashy. Oh, and her pelvis.. front .. bone.. or whatever, is visible in that nasty pink gown. Ew!
I'm not sure if I can completely bash Renee's hair but ONLY because I'm currently growing out a truly unfortunate haircut (tears and xanax) that went through a similar phase and required 3 rehab/reshaping cuts to look somewhat decent. Sort of. But she has more money than I do.
Maybe this photo was from Paris's "chastity" (I mean Chased Titty) period and that's a chastity belt made from Kevlar?
wow...so much fug all at once. it's a little much to take in.
with that said, psuedo pop star will always beat psedo actress. that is, gwen's choices are more forgiving b/c she embodies a character--i have no idea, say, what the real gwen stefanie would ever wear (and i feel like she doesn't either) whereas brit murph--a single woman, trying to get a gig--needs to really focus on presentation and that last photo sent my memory afluttering back to those childhood days during which older women were comical/scary all at once!!
I voted for Renee because I completely agree about the hair and because aside from the hair her wardrobe is incredibly boring. She wears the same dress, different colors to every premier. It's BORING!
Katie at least mixes things up and gives us something to talk about and often times it's good. She's not fug enough to move on.
I think Katie Holmes looks adorable! I even like the sling, if I'm being honest (I did hate it in garish pink, but I think Katie's plaid is sweet). I dont understand why ANYONE would think she was more fug than squint eyed Zellweger.
Renee over Katie, based on the hair alone - plus robot's can't dress themselves, so I thought I would give her a break.
Brittney over Gwen, Gwen is wack-a-do fun gal, ready to try anything new, and experiment with her style, even if it’s bad. Brittney is straight-up CRAZY and her outfits are proof!
Paris over Elisha, Paris wouldn't know class or style if it hit her in the face, and with all that money you would think she would have a qualified stylist by now. Elisha, relatively new to the block, she may get it together in a year, or two.
Kim over Ali, I have never seen Kim in anything that I thought was appropriate, stylist, nice, classy, or even fun. But I regret this vote, I reread the comments, and if Ali was a hosebeast in earshot of a Fug girl, than she should of had my vote, hands down! Damn IT!!
WHERE IS MISCHA BARTON?! Her closet full of crazy should definitely be ranked.
Gwen does try hard (I hope) but the fug is consistent over her years of fame. I feel like Brittany Murphy is just a confused little girl - maybe all that collagen from her upper lip is seeping into her brain? I think KatE generally looks nice (way better than the Zellweger skeleton) except it's a little disturbing that she's Tommy Boy's accessory. Parasite Hilton is tacky, she has horrendous taste, as does Kimberly Stewart.
Polterwang wins every time.
I actually almost had a heart attack when I saw Bjork's possessed face looking at me, so I had to quickly scroll down the page! I then almost peed my pants when I saw B.Dawg Murphy's insane "Daffy Duck" lips (seriously, does anyone else see the resemblance?) By then, I was so traumatized, I couldn't vote just yet.
But...I'm on the Katie Holmes train. Bitch is HOT now, even though I still, secretly, wish she looked like Joey from DC. I could relate to her then. Damn Tom Cruise, he ruins EVERYTHING.
Although the fug compentency of Renee and Katie are roughly equal, Renee takes it for her unredemptive haircut. At least Katie's bob is covet-worthy.
Granted, Gwen is sartorially challenged, but Brittany gets extra points for fugging up her own face. When you're willing to surgically alter your flesh in order to win the fug crown, that level of dedication deserves to be rewarded.
Elisha put in a good efforzzzzzzzz... wha? Oh, sorry. As I was saying, nice try, Elisha. But no one this drab can snatch (what pun?) the fug trophy from Paris; someone who simply oozes fug from her hollow insides through her very oily pores.
Ali's one-note look is indeed snooze-worthy (See Elisha Cuthbert), but Kimberly's desperate aping of starlets whose fugaliciousness is vastly superior to her own gives her the edge in this matchup.
Thanks for the front-row seat to the slugfest, Fug Girls! Keep bringing it!
Ugh, you're killing me with the Paris vs Elisha. Elisha has ugly clothes by far but Paris WEARS HER OWN IMAGE ON HER SHIRT. But Paris, I hate to admit, looks super cute sometimes. I guess I'll just go for the underdog.
It almost feels unfair that people like Paris and Gwen (not that I like to include them in the same sentence ever) are up against people with completely different wardrobes. For instance, how do you vote when one gal clearly dresses to shock... or be kinda crazy-different (a la Gwen)... against another who obviously has no idea what looks good and what doesn't (like those dowdy girls above). I mean... it almost seems like the likes of Paris are TRYING to win the Fug Award... which just makes me angry and not want to vote for them... even if it's to tell her she looks like used wrapping paper.
Gwen somehow takes the fashion items I hate the most (i.e., formal shorts) combines them with a bunch of other insanely fugly pieces, and yet somehow makes it all turn out awesome. It's that hint of irony in everything she does. I respect that, and so I had to vote for B-Mu. Stay crazy, Gwen.
This round pointed out the vast differences between someone who is proud to fug and someone who doesn't know any better.
Gwen, Paris, and even Kimberly all WON my vote with their commitment.
i almost feel bad for poor kimberly steward because it's obvious that she TRIES so hard! she just can't quite get it.
cuthbert is as exciting as wall paper and at least paris puts some effort into it - she shaves before she flashes, etc.
None of the percentages add up to 100% (i.e. Gwen 38%, Brittany 61%). Wtf?
Gwen is a tough one. She really likes costumes. It's one thing to wear them yourself on stage. It's another thing to offer them for purchase to tons of girls as "clothing". It seems at some point she became confused as to when costumes are appropriate and when they are not.
And Argh......Paris is so annoying.....why couldn't she have some other name besides the one taken by a famed city? That city is referenced everywhere, you can't get away from thinking of her or her fugliness now when you see it. Why not "Pensacola Hilton" or "Tallahasse Hilton" or "Des Moines Hilton"? Something that more appropriately matches to her terrible taste.
Oh man. Zzelllwegggggerrrr totally took this because of the hair. I didn't realize the intensity and depth of the Fug until now. Kat(i)e has sported some silly looks, but that hair really takes it.
I thought that when Heather and Jessica were referring to Zellwhatever's "gay alien", they meant the dude from the White Stripes?
I have always always always loved Katie, if only because she looks like the hot, tall version of me.
I don't get Ali Larter being seeded so high. I think she is gorgeous and regularly makes the bessed dressed lists.
I kind of like Katie's sling dress. Is that so wrong? :)
I agree that Gwen being in music puts her in a totally different ballpark...she's been crossing over all these different music genres. You don't dress to perform at her concerts the way you do to go...wherever Brit goes.
Gwen is awesome. Brittany Murphy's lips are very strange. Renee Zellwegger needs a lot of help. Paris Hilton just created a whole new level of narcissism by wearing a shirt with her own face plastered on it.
I actually happen to LOVE the sling dress on Holmes...
Zellweger's haircut is particularly heinous b/c it leaves nothing to soften that pinched squint.
Do not pay attention to it. Then - and only then - shall it slink back from whence she came and leave us alone.
It seems like Katie's dresses are unfinished. Her dresses make me wonder if she picked something out then the designer had to finish it on her body without any time. And I know she has the money to get someone to make things fit! Can't she call Armani and be like, "I decided I want to wear this dress but instead of a full gown I'd like it as a mini dress...make it happen!" and deploy a plane to pick him up. But instead she manages to make a couture gown look like it's not quite ready to be worn yet.
Whether Renee likes her hair and is trying to work it, or hates it and is praying it grows out fast, I'm so puzzled as to why she doesn't ever pin curl/hot roller it. It the right length and would actually look great and starlety (ala Chicago) and more 'done' at events. So. Mysterious.
I had to vote for Kat(i)e. Nothing makes you look sillier than accessorizing with Tom Cruise.
Brittany Murphy did enjoy a period of classy/elegant style. Sans the duck lips, I think her fashion is A-OTAY.
Zellweger needs to stop it with the prunes.
Renee's hair may be awful, but her clothes almost always look nice, even if that is sometimes boring. whereas Kat(i)e wore a navy blue jumpsuit to the MTV movie awards in 2005. does anyone remember that?! when she presented this made up lifetime achievement award to tom cruise? except the pantsuit might have had a halter type top (connected to the pants of course) and the pant legs were too short and she was wearing heels. oh it was awful. and i'm convinced that MTV just made up that award (since i'm pretty sure it hasnt been given out before or since that year) JUST so they could get tom and katie on the same stage since that was right in the middle of all the couch jumping and creepy red carpet kissing phase, and also right before he proposed
Katie's new hairdo is much more likeable than Renee's (with or without the accent over the E). Plus, while I think RoboKatie has gone crazy, her style is interesting and kind of fits, while Renee just looks uncomfortable and pouty.
Gwen is Gwen. She's always dressed extreme. It would look terrible on anyone else, and I think the clothes in and of themselves are fug, but you can't help but smile at her strangeness. I hate her obsession with her own name and putting it on everything, but I had to give the vote to Britanny simply based on her recent appearances. Extreme self induced fug, but of a different variety than Gwen. Gwen embraces her fug and makes it her trademark. Britanny just looks bad.
Paris vs. Elisha was a tough one. No one should go out looking as drab as Elisha, and while I give props to Gwen for her trademark appearance, Paris is just so pathetic and her publicity stunts just make her even fuglier. So the vote was for Paris, even though it pains me to vote her in for anything.
Ali has gone far too overboard on the white. She is a very pretty girl, and needs some colour. Even if some of the outfits are a little odd, they aren't nearly as terrible as Kim's. Kimberly gets my vote. Damn that's some fug!
Zellwegger clearly needs some new girlfriends to take her to a new salon and bake her cookies.
Ali Vs. Kim was more meh than anything especially in the crot.. I mean face of all things Bai Ling. When it boils down Kim's outfits, if they aren't downright ugly, look ugly on her.
Am I the ONLY one who is OK with Renee's hair??? It's a cute cut, and may be a little boring. Seriously, let's focus on the actual fug crimes in the world.
Even my Mom, who is out of the loop on the new movies, knows that Renee Z always looks like she smells caca. I like the girl, but her face is stuck.
The hotel heiress should win this round. Living proof that money can't buy class.
Huh--I did much better in Round 2 than 1...Paris owns her ridiculousness, and as much as I dislike her, I feel like she's putting on a show (well, there's not else much to her, so a show is all she has). She's just so costume-y. Elisha just sucks and needs a new stylist.
I think katie holmes actually looks pretty great. She's owning her "fashion-y" choices, the hair is fab, the colors work, and my biggest issue with most of her dresses is they're too long. But I kind of like the Tom sling dress on her. She's got a great figure, so she can work it.
Never got Gwen, never will. She's Chloe-sized fug to me. Whereas I think Paris owns her I'm-so-ridiculous- you-can't-take-me-seriously look, I think Gwen thinks she's a style icon. And oh Lord, she is not.
Love the brackets!!
I cannot stop looking at that Bjork picture. It's the single greatest thing in my life this week.
And I'm actually pretty OK with Zellweger's hair-- it's a pleasant change from everyone else's.
Also, regardless of Elisha Cuthbert's monochromosity, it's our civic duty to vote Paris to the heights of fug. Plus, I'm pretty peeved she's giving all us big-footed girls a bad name.
This was the hardest round so far for me. There were a few that I thought were ties.
"None of the percentages add up to 100% (i.e. Gwen 38%, Brittany 61%). Wtf?"
I think the polling software takes the actual percentage and rounds DOWN -- that's why we're not getting like 38.6% or whathave you.
Honestly, I was all ready to give it to Gwen until I was reminded of the atrocity that was B-Murph's Fashion week "outfit." The clothes combined with the pose brings to mind what would hapen if Karl Lagerfeld had a sex change and started experimenting with colour by pulling from the discount rack at K-Mart and using Wet'n'Wild make-up (not that I don't begrudginly purchase their black eyeliner sometimes when I'm desperate and broke).
I voted for Renee wholly based on the hair. I kinda sorta like her clothes, but I can't get past the hair and the squinched-up face.
I can't believe Zellweger is taking this one. What could conceivably be more fugly than being married to Tom Cruise? Seriously?! And then the pocket dress, with the pouch for your short crazy husband, and everything? She's all fug! All fug!
Renee Z's hair just kills me everytime. She has that same over the shoulder lip pursing thing going on all the time. She is boring in her fug. At least with Katie Holmes there is some fun, looking for the terror in her eyes when she realizes that she is now the bride of Tom Crazy, I mean Cruise.
Paris, that is such a no-brainer that I did not even have to refresh my memory. Her fug is legendary. I would love to see her and Chloe Sev. in the finals... now that would be a tough one.
I had to go with Brittany. A majority of Gwen's fug is on stage and not out in public where it can hurt an innocent human. Plus, like someone said in an earlier post, the duck lips seal the deal.
Kim S. also got my vote in her pathetic attemps to be a Paris knock-off. Ali L. is just a bore and a half. At least with Kim you can use many colorful adjectives to describe that poor lamb's garb de jour.
Sometimes it is not at all about the uniforms!
HOLMES v. ZELLWEGER: I admire her personally, as well as her taste in red carpet Carolina Herrera over the years, but that picture of Renee Z scared the hell out of me ... she looks rode hard and put up wet. She bothered with some lipstick and heavy eyeliner ... couldn't she spare one minute to swirl, tap and buff a bit of Bare Minerals? But it is clearly the hair that matters in this match-up, and there is no comparison. Katie looks fabulous with her banged bob, while Renee has completely lost sight of the particular sharpness of her face and the need to keep it soft. Even if it is for a movie role, she's styling it unflatteringly. A much bigger crime than even having Tom Cruise as your arm accessory. 50-point blowout by Zellweger.
STEFANI V. MURPHY: I adore Gwen's style on her because she does it so confidently and consistently, the occasional drop waist notwithstanding. Plus she managed to look amazing in formal shorts, which I don't think anyone else has been able to do, not even SJP. So Murphy would have gotten my vote anyway, but throw in that aviatrix duck-lipped photo and you have a Michael Jordan-style slam dunk. That is the nastiest look I have seen here.
CUTHBERT V. HILTON: Should I know Cuthbert? Bless her heart, she is boring. I can't watch four quarters of that. Forfeit to Hilton.
LARTER V. STEWART: I know even less about Larter than I do about Cuthbert, but she looks like *she* knows herself fairly well and what she likes. Self-awareness is important. Stewart, on the other hand, just looks lost, pathetically so. I kind of feel sorry for her. Sympathy win to Stewart.
is renee going Dogtown on us? with that Flop she looks like the guys I found so irresistible in middle school. less irresistible, though. can it be long before she brings back the vision streetwear and starts scoping drained pools to skate in venice? gnarley.
Gwen v. Brittany was really hard; they're both SO hit sometimes, and both so MISS sometimes...
Ali rarely makes a misstep. Gwen I can forgive all her fug because she really pulls it off. Renee? Had to give her my vote.
I was annoyed by how much of the criticism of Gwen was of outfits that are clearly costumes from stage performances. Because walking around town Gwen always looks funky and chic and like the most fun mom in the world, and on the red carpet she always looks fab. Yes in music videos, photoshoots and stage costumes she is the definition of over the top...but they are costumes!
Also her style is consistent its rockability! punk mixed with retro, lots of animal print, bright red, black and white and navy...she's been doing the look her whole career, but in the past few years really polished it up
Even though I can see the fugly in ALL of these, I find myself voting for the one who is, not only fug in fashion, but fug-looking in themselves as a result of the fashion fug. For instance, much as I hate to admit it, I didn't vote Paris as Fug Queen over Elisha Cuthbert - because, hideous as that green dress (to take an example) is, at least it's a color that is good for Paris's fake tan; whereas Elisha's weird brown dress-thing is fugly AND makes her look like an Actual Ugly Person.
(I still kinda hope Paris is pronounced Most Fugly, though, because then maybe she'll stop trying to design clothes.)
Ah, choices. So hard to make. *sigh*
How awesome would be to have a Peldon-Hilton Mega-Battle of TEH FUGNESS?
Katie Holmes might have her brain sucked out, but I like most of her outfits. Renee looks like my first kiss at 11- a skinny blond boy. Zellweger wins.
Gwen, on the principal that she was once my idol, and now she seems to be on way too big of a Harajuku girls kick. However, the moment we see old school Gwen back... Team Stefani!
Paris on principle that she is Paris. Anyone who wears giant t-shirts of their own face in a completely serious manner should be shot.
Kimberly Stewart... I mean, was there even a serious contest there? Look at the girl... she managed to combine LiLo and Paris's different trainwreck styles into a hellbroth of fug.
In the spirit of considering the competitors' entire "bodies of work," I simply can't, in good conscience, give Renee's haircut undue fug weight. Haven't we all made the occasional tragic hair decision? Possibly even embraced it for a cut or two to deny our shame? Think of all the criminal Dorothy Hamill, Jennifer Aniston, Posh, and even Gwen Stephani do's that were inflicted on the absolute wrong skulls.
So in the final analysis: Android-Stepford-Fug trumps They-Told-Me-It-Looked-Sassy-Fug any day.
Paris' dress is waaay too tight in that pic. You can see her penis and everything.
I can't figure out why Holmes is even in this game. I love everything she wears. LOVE the sling dress.
I almost feel bad voting for Kimberly Stewart.
I had to go with Brittany Murphy because she came out strong with the f'uped lips. Gwen is a Beyonce type except she tries way too hard but in her defense, she mostly manages to pull it off. Gwen has a "look"; kooky - yes, fugly - not so much. She can dress normal anytime she wants while B. Murp has to wait 4 to 6 months for the lips to return to normal and she has the ultimate fug accessory right now - a creepy, clearly unwashed husband. Fug advantage - B. Muph.
THIS IS THE BEST CONTEST EVER!!!
come on! gwen's dowdy puritanical smock is the most hideous thing i have ever seen on another human being. brittany murphy could never out fug her.
I hate to admit it, but I have loved Kat(i)e in everything recently. I don't know what Scientology did to her mind, but it seemed to do wonders for her clothes, makeup and hair. (God, remember the two-tone mess she had during Dawson's Creek?)
Also, I am surprised at the close race between Gwen and Brittany. Gwen dresses like a crazy person. I still love her, but not as much as she loves the fug. She is amazingly fug! I feel like she should win in a landslide over Brittany - who is just kind of boringly fug.
Gwen rocks and so it is easy. She embraces the fug. She owns the fug and pushes it to new levels - love the obi dressing up. I think she is just able to dress exactly how I wanted to when I was seven and if I had that much money, that much time and a very helpful gym instructor slash lyposuctionist I might do it too. Righlty on she accessorises with adult humans. Paris does it with dogs, Madonna with kids so why not take it to the next level? Kudos for getting away with it.
Brittany just makes me sad. She was rather pretty until she stuck collagen in her lips and now looks like Big-not-mock-indie-Simpson. Such a shame. She is clearly multi-tasking. The sweatshirt dress will take her from red carpet to gym in no time.
Paris wins hands down. Too easy. As does Zellfugger. The hair my god why oh why does she think that looks ok on a woman or in fact on anyone not a 13 year old boy. I wished I'd seen these shows you guys are talking about, but loved the Leonardio di Caprio link. So true.
Big Kat (her husband's soooo tiny) needs to get away from Essex girl Posh (oh the contradiction) and she'll do fine. The new hair is fab and she only fugs from time to time. Seems to be less and less on GFY too.
Ali Larter needs a new colour and stylist and decade. Fug but not in a fugtastic way.
I have a hard time voting for Paris Hilton at all. Even if it is for Queen of Fug.
ok...
Elisha Cuthbert looks pretty bad sometimes, but I think with her it's really just apathy, rather than being UNABLE to dress herself. Which is an important distinction.
I have to say that I love almost everything Katie Holmes wears. I copied the bob at like, day 1. I LOVE the sling dresses, I COVET the sling dresses, I hope to one day own the exact one she wore (though hemmed for our height difference). She's getting too skinny and yeah she has no personality (apparently, having seen the now infamous "pants hemming story" fiasco), but girl looks hot.
Kim Stewart is a walking disaster. Like Bai Ling but without the excuse of alien radiowave interference.
I voted for Gwen based on her longstanding body of work, but I didn't like doing it. Gwen is awesome. Some of her clothes are insane, but I think she pulls it off somehow. And part of me wanted to vote for Brittany Murphy solely for turning herself into a sexagenarian, even if it was just one instance. So I'm glad Brittany's winning.
I'll look forward to seeing Renee Zellweger get weeded out in the next round, though. I generally like what she wears and don't think a bad haircut weighs up with some of the other sartorial crimes in this bracket.
I chose Brittany over Gwen, mainly because I love Gwen, and she is also just so crazy and out there that for her anything works. I mean she doesnt wear ugly as much as insane- and I love insane.
It's a really tough one, between Katie and Renee.
But I feel that Renee could somehow see the light and pull herself up and out if it,
whereas Katie is comprehensively, irretrievably, DOOMED.
I'm sorry, but I actually really like Renee Zelwegger's haircut! I'm a big fan of short hair and I just think she looks adorable. Also, Katie continues to make herself look far older than her years, so she gets my vote.
HOW did Ali Larter get a better seed than Kim Stewart?
It must be the Ali being (W)itchy thing, because Kim really has no clue when it domes to what is on her body, and she is a sad cute little fug who should be recognized for it.
HOW did Ali Larter get a better seed than Kim Stewart?
It must be the Ali being (W)itchy thing, because Kim really has no clue when it domes to what is on her body, and she is a sad cute little fug who should be recognized for it.
Generally I have a favorable opinion of Kat(i)e and her outfits, but I cannot forgive her for having worn a belted swimsuit with high heels last summer. Blecchh.
Er, Ali? Kimberley? And what's with Unable To Display Poll? Any other Aussies got this problem?
Katie over Renee-I feel badly for both broads. I don't think Katie even watches a movie for herself now but is instead told to wear a blindfold and Tommy turns the volume down and just tells her what's happening. Anyway, don't think she picks out her own clothing, either. Kinda like the bob, sometimes. Renee has looked rather tragic lately so I gave her a break.
Gwen over Brittany-I don't really care for the way Gwen gets away with her fug just because she does it all the time. When she's on stage, I love the costumes. Although, I miss the old Gwen who used to do push-ups on stage and work up a sweat instead of just kinda shifting from tacky heel to tacky heel in a catatonic way. But I most always hate what she tries to pull on the red carpet and on the street. Brittany is trying to make me think she is no longer adorable but I'm not going to let her...yet.
Paris over Elisha-Paris just has that special way of making anything she wears look trashy and awful. It would not matter who she was pitted against, I still feel that I would vote for her.
Kimberley over Ali-Kim is fug and all but I do feel bad because as you said, she may be a nice person and Ali looks like she has a case of permanent bitchface. And she does wear too much white.
I voted for Ali Larter entirely on the basis of hose-beastness. Kimberly may wear a flapper dress that looks exactly like one my grandmother made for my Chrissy doll when I was six, and with pirate boots no less, but she's never been vicious within earshot of Our Gracious Hostesses. For that alone, Larter must win.
Also, I'm betting on a Peldon - Hilton final. Please, please, please. . .
I have to vote for Ali Larter... I don't think I've once seen her in a decent non-fugguliscious outfit.
How did you find the only picture of Zellwhatever where you can actually see her eyes?
C'mon J and H . . . Katie has come SO FAR, does she really belong in this contest???? And let's face it, Renee's bad haircut put her here. As a rule, she is no fugster! Haven't we all been to that place where we let the stylist we know, love and trust take liberties that . . . well, compel us to find a new stylist? This is the weakest of brackets - except of course for La Hilton.
Zellweger over Holmes: It really was the toughest call of the day. But that picture! Oh, that picture! All things considered, Renee got my vote because of the hair.
Word to everyone pointing out that half of Gwen's fug ups are costumes. Plus she's an experimental, fashion forward kind of girl and thus bound to make an occasional misstep. Murphy has no such excuse.
I almost voted for Renee Zellweger over Katie Holmes strictly on the basis of scrunched up hideous face, but unfortunate facial expressions do not a fugging make. Did anyone else scroll down through the rest of that Gwen Stefani diaper fug and wonder why Bobby Trendy didn't make it into a bracket?
Holmes v Zelleweger: I don't care what anyone says, Renee is so pickin' cute that I am going to pretend the hair is for a role or something. Holmes is just creepy with her sudden matronly image. Like a Stepford wife, (which is kind of ironic if you consider Nicole Kidman was in the movie).
Stefani v Murphy: I admit that I have never liked Gwen Stefani, but I do admit she looks cute once in a blue moon. Plus, that last image of Brittany Murphy looking like Tammy Faye and Howard the Duck begat a lovechild gave me actual shivers. Murphy takes this one!
Cuthbert v Hilton: You had to ask, really?
Larter v Stewart: A Paris wanna-be deserves Paris Fug Votes. Besides, I hate all these skanks who are celebs because their parents managed to procreate. At least Larter *does* something!
I can't believe anyone could possibly vote over Gwen. Her outfits are the result of missing medication. She'd give a Peldon a run for her money.
kristin: i agree. WHERE IS MISCHA BARTON?!?!?!?!
and gwen trumps brittany murphy ANYDAY.
renee over kat(i)e!!
and hel-lo, paris over ANYONE. srsly.
How can Brittany win over Gwen??? Gwen not only erected an empire (emporium?) of fug on her body these past years, she has packaged it, labelled it and is now fugifying hordes of impressionably young women, albeit mostly in Japan where, let's face it her brand of crazy is but a blip on the radar.
I was all set to cast my vote for Ali Larter until the reminder of how uppity and evil she is, and I realized that, like Phoebe Price loving her "Hot Slut of the Year" award from D-Listed, Ali there doesn't need or deserve one more iota of fame, no matter how ignominious the honor.
Renee gets the fug award, but not because of her hair - it's because she wears those boring Carolina Herrera dresses so often and her sharp, pointy body scares me.
Gwen Stefani looks weird, yet amazing, all the time. I give props for that. It's better than looking sane, yet never very good (like Renee). The woman has an aesthetic and luckily she's a musician, not a movie star, so she can work it.
One more thing: I hate Paris too, but PLEASE don't blame her for having a pubic bone that sometimes catches the light. Lots of women are shaped like this down there, including me, and trust me, it's not a polterwang, I'm all lady.
Of course Paris does draw a lot of attention to her crotch, so perhaps heightened scrutiny is justified.
what she said.
Is it bad that I think that Gwen Stefani always looks good? (except for that one "dowdy" dress) Have I been unconciously trained to like on Gwen what I would hate on someone else? Maybe, but it doesn't change the fact that I think she is fab!
Also, can I somehow vote for both Katie Holmes and Renee? There should be a seprate bracket for bad hair because they both have horrible cuts. Renee's = boy; Katie's = adds to the whole robot/alien thing that I think she should be trying to avoid.
I just can't vote against Gwen Stefani. She had the best wedding dress in the entire history of weddings. She could start wearing plaid leggings and unbelted sleeveless burlap tunics printed with ad slogans, and she'd still get a pass from me because of her wedding dress.
It's going to be a tough one if/when we get to Kimberly Stewart vs. Paris Hilton. Someone who apes the style of anyone famous, no matter how terrible the style is, or someone who should never, ever have gotten famous enough to have her style aped by people who don't know better?
You know when you read so many celebrity magazines that you start to believe that you actually know these people - that they are your friends (or enemies). Well, I gotta say, Allie Larter is so the cheerleader to my band geek. You've gotta vote against her because she just seems like such a b*&#h.
I voted for Katie, becuase her look is not her own. She doesn't own it. She just playing at being glam. I was also was embarrassed for her for carrying that big-ass weekender as a handbag a while back. I voted for Paris for obvious reasons and Brittny Murphy just looks plain crazy, so she got my vote too.
omg people! How can Katie Holmes not be winning this thing. Zellweger's brand of fug is so middle-of-the-road boring fug.
Holmes on the other hand looks like matronly-Hamptons fug!! She's not even 30 and goes out looking like my grandmother's snobby bridge friends.
*sigh
omg people! How can Katie Holmes not be winning this thing?!?!
Zellweger's brand of fug is so middle-of-the-road boring fug.
Holmes on the other hand looks like matronly-Hamptons fug!! She's not even 30 and goes out looking like my grandmother's snobby bridge friends.
*sigh
that all white outfit ali later wore is unforgivable. shudders.
I totally agree w/RNEW...RZ's biggest issue is the hair, and who among us hasn't been in love w/ a style we later cringe at when we see the old photos? But KH is a whole big package of "I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not comfortable in anything". I mean, she can hardly lift the handbag, and she manages to make herself look dowdy in practically everything in spite of the fact that she has a model's long willowy body. And although the bob is lovely, it looks like a Wig by a Gabor Sister. Is the hubby her stylist now too? 'Cause I do realize that he's a self-appointed expert in many areas...
Awesome comments, you guys -- I'm so glad we opened them, based on how the first day went. Since these polls are closed, so are these comments, but please carry on in other open comment threads!