(1) LINDSAY LOHAN vs. (16) PLAY-IN WINNER (Tues., March 18)
(2) SHARON STONE vs. (15) EMMA WATSON
(3) KEIRA KNIGHTLEY vs. (14) NATASHA BEDINGFIELD
(4) RIHANNA vs. (13) SANDRA OH
(5) FERGIE vs. (12) BRAD PITT
(6) KIRSTEN DUNST vs. (11) JULIETTE LEWIS
(7) SCARLETT JOHANSSON vs (10) JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT
(8) NELLY FURTADO vs (9) PAULA ABDUL
Welcome, dear readers, to Fug Madness! Today, we'll be revealing the fugly celebrities who will be battling it out fug-a-fug to determine which of them is truly the most stylistically challenged of all -- and who they're gonna have to mow down in order to win this dubious title. Like the NCAA basketball tournament, we've placed our contestants in four brackets (it goes without saying that, one day, we hope to convince the NCAA to join us in the move away from regional brackets and into ones named after famous, one-named, crazy-dressed celebrities). This first bracket is blessed to feature the winner of our play-in game, in which the two absolute lowest-seeded celebrities alive are forced to battle it out just for the honor of being in the tourney. You'll see who those two sad clowns are on Monday. We're also looking at a very strong one seed in Lindsay "I'm Coming Out With a Line of Leggings" Lohan, who we think may be a strong bet to win the whole thing. We've also got a potential spoiler in one Miss Juliette Lewis, and we'd be lying if we didn't admit that we'd be amused if she and ex-boyfriend Brad Pitt made identical improbable, spoiler-y runs to meet up in the Elite Eight. It's more likely, of course, that the Elite Eight will instead see Lindsay face off --- at last! -- with batshit crazy fur lover, Sharon Stone. We suspect we could sell tickets to that fight.
Reminder: Please don't freak out if your favorite -- or least-favorite -- Fug Hound didn't make the list. Sometimes we had to consider how much they've been in rotation lately, whether they've made leaps and bounds in their style, whether there was an extenuating circumstance (like pregnancy or potential mental illness, which accounts for our total lack of Britney; may she get well soon so that she can claim her rightful top seed in 2009), or whether we completely forgot they existed. Hey, it happens. Just kick back, enjoy the games, and imagine that your missing favorite is out there somewhere playing in the Fug NIT, leading the charge of the also-rans and praying for a more auspicious and publicly terrible year to come.
