(1) MISCHA BARTON vs. (16) KRISTEN BELL
Kristen Bell sneaks in at the lowest-possible seed because of what a solid recent history she has. The hemlines have risen, her legs look longer, and we've documented her improving taste an accidentally excessive amount. [We wrote a whole chapter in The Fug Awards about how she needed a fashion intervention, and lo and behold, she got one mere months before it was published. THANKS A LOT, KRISTEN. You couldn't have waited?] Why have we gotten so repetitive with our praise? Frankly, because we forget about the hot streak almost as soon as we acknowledge it. So potent was her stumpification of years past -- check it out here, along with some of her hits, in Kristen's personalized archive -- that it still bleaches our brains of her more recent successes. Although we'd be remiss in claiming that the hemline issue was her only problem.
[Photo: Splash News]
Watch that balance on your hideous straw wedges, Kristen -- if you fall over, that blouse-dress you're wearing will ride up all the way to Pantytown.
But Kristen has her work cut out for her if she's going to knock off Mischa Barton, who is prone to putting together fascinating -- read: WTF?!? -- outfits like this:
[Photo: INFDaily.com]
First those cheap-looking high-waisted shorts, and now this. Not to mention the jeans that make it look like she's wearing an adult diaper under there. Of course, sometimes her instincts are spot-on -- I mean, if Mischa were attending a blood orgy in a forest located in the fourth circle of Hell, then this outfit would be perfect. Even her sister can't put on a happy poker face, and you know she's delivering a scathing inner monologue about how much she resents their mother for not taking away Mischa's credit card. Somebody should, though, and do it before she buys any more of those ridiculous headbands.
(4) NICOLE KIDMAN vs. (13) EVA GREEN
For someone who has such a stiff, reserved, buttoned-up image a lot of the time, Nicole Kidman has a really wacky fashion history.
I'm not sure which befuddles me more -- the dress, or the poster behind it, which feels like it's trying to hypnotize me into slapping this thing onto a best-dressed list. I have to look away lest I get sucked into its dangerous thrall. And remember when she wore the mermaid flapper dress? Or the red Balenciaga that tried to throttle some life into her, and failed? I mean, the woman showed up to a movie premiere dressed like the Tin Man. That is something I would expect from Tilda Swinton -- it's what I imagine she wears to the supermarket to pick up a baguette to go with dinner -- but not from Nicole Kidman.
Eva Green, on the other hand, is generally extremely buttoned-up, in the most costumey, dramatic way possible.
That is brave and hilarious, right there. It almost defies words. Her hair is MAGICAL, a veritable fiesta platter of backbrushing and driving 90 m.p.h. in a convertible and falling asleep with your wet finger in a wall socket. She is no stranger to the overdramatic, and we love that about her.
But with Eva Green's awesomely batshit clothes comes an equally loony aura, like she is one step away from cutting off a lock of your hair and asking you to spit in a cup so she can brew a potion that will make you bionic. Conversely, Kidman pastes a tight-lipped, quasi-angelic smile on her face, stands ramrod straight, and almost acts like she's trying to dissociate herself from anything below her chin. What does it all mean? Is she aware of the fug and regretting it? Is she clueless? Afraid to embrace it? It's another example of deliberate fug versus... well, we're not sure, exactly. All we know is Kidman's been very questionable lately, and got the higher seed because she's been out and about in public a lot more often than the flamboyantly inane Green, who is presumably at home restocking her shelves with eye of newt and tongue of lemur. If only they'd make that Golden Compass sequel so we could see them make the rounds side-by-side.
(5) TYRA BANKS vs. (12) SPENCER & HEIDI
Miss Tyra is a national treasure. And not just because of her hair (although it deserves its own hall of shameful fame, perhaps installed in a building built in the image of this architecturally intriguing updo).
How did she manage to turn a slinky red satin number into something borderline matronly? We'll never know. It's all part of The Power of Tyra, and perhaps we're not meant to understand. Or at least, that's what I tell myself whenever I run up against another of her getups that has me banging my head against the desk. For instance, there was bronzer. And a kimono with lace panels. A giant chocolate wedding cake. Turns out I've had a lifelong comprehension problem when it comes to her.
Speaking of things I don't understand:
Say hello to one of the grossest reality-show couples in history, and yes, that includes anything spawned by Joe Millionaire, The Bachelor, and the hot tub at the Big Brother house (we hope there is a LOT of chlorine in that thing). It's almost irrelevant what they're wearing; the two of them don't so much walk around town as ooze, and their inherent publicity-grubbing douchiness lends an air of ickyness to anything they do, even if it's for charity. Recently, Us Weekly named Heidi its "Best Head-To-Toe Makeover," and we strenuously object. For one thing, those implants look like she had boulders installed, and for another, the nose job and the extra-bleached hair and whatnot served no purpose than to make her look as generic as any other waitress in this town with Aspirations. Now that she's played God with her lips, she doesn't even look like herself. It's terrible, and all so unnecessary. We blame Spencer (and have written that so many times we should probably start selling it as a t-shirt). It's impossible to consider one without pondering all the icky, oily things they've done on camera, either authentically or just to get themselves in the tabloids. Either way, ew.
But are they a match for Miss Tyra and her wigariffic weaves of glory?
(8) TILDA SWINTON vs. (9) KEVIN FEDERLINE
This is the marquee matchup of the day, in our eyes. These are two people we'd really like to take to dinner -- on someone else's tab, because a lot of liquor would need to be involved -- and just turn on a tape recorder and let the magic happen. I mean, can you see these two people at the same table?
Tilda, in her arachnid-themed, urine-colored dress -- or perhaps her Oscar toga, with this as a coat -- could swan in and dispense advice to K-Fed on how to choose a suit...
... while K-Fed would blow her off, all, "Chillax, Maxine Headroom. Here, try on my cape." He'd show her some dance moves, maybe explain the benefits of socks with flip-flops, and tell her all about his experience on One Tree Hill. It would end either with Tilda breaking a bottle of champagne over his head, or contributing phat raps to his next album and arranging it so they co-star in a sensitive screen adaptation of some Nicholas Sparks novel. Regardless, I want to be part of it.
K-Fed is about as low as you can get. Somebody stop him!
Tilda's brand of craziness always works for me.
Oh my god, this is the best thing EVER! You girls are a national treasure!!
Ah, Kevin always fresh and funky with the fuggly!
I would pay good money to listen to the K-Fed/Swinton album and/or see thier movie. And I have zero shame about it.
Where are all the links to Tilda's crazy transgender suits?! She's a stand out fugifier if i ever saw one.
Mischa at least has her own personal style, which Kristen seems to lack.
Tilda Swinton is fantastically amazing.
I hope Tyra takes this. Not only is she fabulous in OTT kind of way, but the couple that shall not be named cannot win at anything or I will lose all faith in humanity and will to live.
Oh, it's such a hard decision, Tilda or K-Fed. But at least Tilda tries whereas K-Fed looks like he just put on everything he found in someone elses garbage.
Any way to get rid of the "girls go wild at the car wash" ad with the multi-mammaries? Talk about FUGLY!!! It's so bad I may have to forego GFY for a while until the ads rotate....
Amber: Right about the K-Fed picture, where it says Tilda could help him choose a suit, there is a link to two of her crazy suits.
Foop: We're on it; we're trying to deal with it ASAP. Please bear with us!
In future, please e-mail us about site-related questions, rather than putting them in the comments -- which are just for talking about the entry in question. Thanks!
Federline is wearing a CAPE! 'Nuff said.
My androgynous crush on Tilda just wouldn't let me throw her under the bus. And I would have voted for Eva Green...but I'm afraid of her. She's got those eyes that say, Do me wrong and I'll snack on your heart.
ps...secretly wish Tyra was wearing K-Fed's sock/flip-flop combo with that tragic kimono. Then it would almost make sense!
I'm not sure it's entirely fair to pit Tyra against Heidi and Spencer. That's a question of bad fashion choices versus general gag-inducing qualities, and is very difficult to judge. Heidi and Spencer don't have a celebrated history of DRESSING badly, they just happen to be two of the most annoying people in the world.
Maybe, but the brackets aren't supposed to be about fairness necessarily. We deemed Tyra a five seed for her quality of fug, and Spencer and Heidi got slotted in as a 12 seed because they're lower-level celebs but stil fairly fug in spirit and in clothes (Heidi can't dress for shit).
The way the bracket is designed, five seeds always meet 12 seeds in the first round, and they drew each other. We didn't hand-pick each matchup; we randomly paired all the five seeds with all the twelves, all the four seeds with the thirteens, etc -- this is just the way it worked out for these two.
Dear lord, it's Federline based solely on the ookie-factor alone.
What a fantastic idea for a magazine feature. Send Tilda and K-Fed somewhere together and have one interview the other? Newstand gold right there.
heidi and spenc got my vote b/c heidi fugged herself semi-permanently with implants!!! that's dedication.
if only we could marry n kid's pastey whiteness with eva green's dramatic flair, we'd have one helluva goth fug--one that could give marilyn manson a run for his money.
I was about to vote for Heidi & Spencer because I honestly just hate them so much, however, I really don't want them moving forward in this competition -- because that is what they'd want! I do not want to acknowledge them in any way. Besides, I feel like being deemed the fug winner is an honor. A strange honor, but an honor nonetheless. And those two should never be honored.
I have to say, I'm a bit surprised to see Nicole Kidman as the #4 seed. In her long career, there have been far more fashion hits than misses, in my opinion. One (or two) bad apple(s), I suppose...
Spencer and Heidi...Heidi and Spencer...there's really no need to say anymore, except that I hope they take this entire bracket!
And Foop, I agree, that car wash ad is making my eyes melt with its fugliness.
Thank you so much, Fug Girls, for these brackets! I now have a perfectly respectable excuse to waste time at work!
I really can't complain anyway, because it's so freaking awesome that you guys put all this together. It's making my week.
OK, here's how I break it down: Mischa's fug is undying, because she really, really thinks that she's some sort of flower-child-waif-wonder; honey, she ain't. She's annoying.
Nicole, because she's been fugging it up for much longer, and has the ability to be both fugly and boring all at the same time. At least Eva is amusing- who knew that using that much AquaNet was still legal?
Tyra, for me, outfugs Heidi and Spencer. My reason is simple: of anyone in this competition, Tyra should know better. She's worked in the fashion industry forever. Believe me, I think we all know by now that she went to live in Paris (away from her mother) when she was 16 and blah blah blah. So no excuses for her.
Finally, K-fed is tacky; Tilda is merely eccentric. Also, K-fed drove Britney insane, and for that, I will never forgive him. He is the reason that Miss Spears isn't defending her rightful place in Fug Madness, and for that, he outfugs Tilda easily.
Can you please make a shirt with "blame Spencer" on it?! I think it's genius.
You know what...after thinking about it some more, I want Eva Green to win this bracket. The reason being that while Nicole, Mischa, Kristen and company DO in fact sometimes wear fugly things, they have also worn things in the past that I have loved, whereas with Eva, I am at a loss...maybe she's just f-ing with us?
Whoops, sorry, Heather! Won't comment on the ads!
I literally sat here staring at the Speidi vs. Miss Tyra part foralmostever because I could not decide. Spencer and his Vent Figure have fugly souls and I don't want to reward them with anything remotely resembling attention, BUT I also can't not bash them, and since I'm not nearby enough to do it with a bat, all I have is this poll. Tough decisions!
Wow, Tilda vs. K-Fed is a hard one! They're both terribly dressed, but they're terribly dressed in a way that's authentically THEM, if you know what I mean, which in some way makes them un-fug.
In trying to decide between Tilda and K-Fed, I thought the amount of time each spent in the shower might be a tie breaker. But, alas, I don't think that works, either. I think I'm going to go with Kevin, because socks with flip flops should at least be a misdemeanor and carry a minimum sentence of 6 months in jail.
Misha's headbands FTW!
I can't vote in the Heidi/Spencer vs. Tyra competition, because they are the three most annoying people in the world. I can't break that tie.
Oh, and I loved Nicole's giant, red bow. What is wrong with me?
Mischa v. Kristen: No contest...What about that big green butt bow???
Tilda v. K.Fed: I have an eternal love/hate for K.Fed thanks to Popozao and I think he's the obvious choice here.
Tyra v. Spencer and Heidi: I hate S&H but Tyra has to win this matchup. Lest we forget the many hideous outfits from Top Model. The bun sitting on the top of her head, the psychotic walk during last season's finale, the bright red weave/wig shaking when she was yelling at Tiffany! I love her but she is the spirit of fug and she is the only one is this bracket who could possible keep up with Mischa or Paris.
Nicole v. Eva: I have to go with Kidman. She should just know better. Eva has an aesthetic that is batshit crazy Nicole always manages to look pinched and depressing.
There is no excuse, EVER, for socks with sandals. As far as I'm concerned, socks with flip-flops is equivalent to plumbing the seventh circle of Hell.
Tilda should win over K-Fed, hands down. Tilda's fugliness is at least original and interesting. There are 1,000 other douche bags out there dressing exactly like K-Fed. Or maybe he's more fugly because of that... At least most people know better than to mimic Tilda's style. Can't say the same for K-Fed's.
tilda swinton is a badass...k-fed is just sleazy.
See, Eva Green is awesome. She's by-ghod Joan Collins as Lady Macbeth in her mind all day and all night long.
Meanwhile, Nicole Kidman seems spooky and kooky at first, but then it just turns out that she's confused. Remember back in the '80's when she had spark and grace and humor? Perhaps she's so clueless about what to put on her pale, impossibly perfect body because her mind has actually gone away, leaving her trying again and again to find where her former intact personality left off. "Who am I? Where did I go? I need a do-over." She's the ghost of stardom past. She is the walking, spooky equivalent of the blonde joke about white-out all over the computer screen. Tragic. And scary.
Until I saw the Tyra hall of shame, I never realized how deliciously terrible her fashion choices are. I mean, it's Miss Tyra, so it has to be fierce and fabulous, right? Speidi hasn't a chance against the force of nature that is Tyra.
On the Tilda/K-Fed battle, though... Tilda has class. She may also have, as my dear old grandmother would say, taste in her mouth, but she clearly has class. F-Ked? Hmmm, dressed his groomsmen in matching sweat suits with the word "PIMP" embroidered on the backs, owned and publicly wore a trucker hat which displayed this poetry: "Rock Out With Your Cock Out", practically invented manpris, tried to convince us that sweat socks were the same as tabis, and (for this alone owns his own circle of hell) popularized the rubber shower zori with socks as street wear.
It has to be Ms. Banks. Speidi are so loathsome and disgusting I am unable to vote for them. Tyra's fuggergy is awe inspiring, Speidi's makes me want to heave.
Kidman vs. Green was hard for me, too. But, as much as I am trying to base my votes on everyone's most recent choices, I can't help but remember her as a drop dead gorgeous red head from a few years back who dressed WELL. Why must these women shun their natural tresses for the blond??? Even the wonderful Julianne Moore seems to be blonder as of late.
And Tilda...her sartorial choices may be questionable, but she carries them. I don't think K Fed chooses his "wardrobe". I just don't think his brain is that complex.
Nicole Kidman is fantastic. Period.
Tilda Swinton rocks my world. I don't care what she wears, she is just fabulous. Like, David Bowie fabulous.
K-fed is a megachoad.
I am having a hard time deciding which is fuglier... intentional fug (Tilda) or unintentional fug (Kevin). What better captures the true Essence of Fug (the winner should totally market that perfume!)?
1) Kirsten is most improved of the year, and not to mention so damn cute and talented and hot. Sorry Micha you're 2004's hot new thing, but 2008's super fug queen!
2) Eva - though I think they are both fabulous almost all of the time. Being that tall, thin, gorgeous and into high fasion I just give them both props.
3) Tyra- Lets keep in mind the spirit of this tournament people! Everybody hates Hiedi and Spence and your best weapon against them is just to ignore them and wait for them to go away. Also, lets be honest loathsome as they are they both generally DRESS appropriately for whatever occasion they somehow got invited to
4) This one is hard, Tilda is just her own thing which is often fug, but always her own. K-Fed has cleaned up A LOT in the past year, also is taking care of his kids. So its sort of general day-to-day poorly dressed d-bag attire vs Over the top zany genderbending awesome.
I say K-fed is far more fug
Oh, my god, PLEASE MAKE THE SPENCER SHIRT. I'm currently blaming him for: the Duke win yesterday, the fact that I'm late for work, and that whole Tibet situation. I think I'm justified in all three, and also in my complete lack of interest in anything other than pointing out his endless douchebaggery. A shirt would save me some labor.
Kirsten Vs. Mischa. That oh-so-groovy headband seals it for Mischa.
Nicole Vs. Eva. Yea Ogs that hair!!!! Eva wins it.
Tyra Vs.Spencer & Heidi. Spence & Heidi simply because I was forced to watch a marathon of The Hills, and Tyra did some sbeyond smoking hot photo shoots for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue back in the did. Spencer & Heidi win.
Tilda Vs. K-Fed. A fucking cape??!!! As IF! K-Fed blows away Tilda.
I had to go with Tilda because she owns, OWNS her fug and I want K-Fed to go away. NOW. While I think that Eva would want to kill and eat me, I feel her fug is a part of her batsh*t charm. Kidman, I believe, thinks that she actually looks fashionable. Silly Kidman. Fug advantange - Kidman. Spencer and Heidi. Uggh. I don't even watch "The Hills" and even try to pretend that it doesn't exist but these two won't let me forget it. You're right, they ooze - they ooze fug through every pore. For that, they kick Tyra's crazy, egomanical butt.
I have so much love for Tilda's otherworldly freakiness!
Ok--that Heidi and what-was-his-name-again? are just too darn weird to even consider. I don't watch enough tv--no idea who they are. At least Tyra has style--even when it is whackoo. But those other people are flat-out slimely.
WHOOPS, I meant to close comments in YESTERDAY'S Bjork bracket and I closed this one instead. We're back open! Sorry!
Eva got my fug. I know I should vote for Kidman, who has ben caught in an unfortunate shame spiral of Bleaching and Botoxing. Still, I refuse to forget the statuesque knockout who had gorgeous strawberry blonde curls and the daring to wear a chartreuse Galliano gown to the Oscars. Nicole, if you're reading this--a little less Cher, a little more Helen Mirren. PLEASE.
Eva Green took it from Nicole K for that red bejeweled atrocity alone. Tilda's fug works so well it becomes un-fugged, IMO. And Mischa got it over Kristen due to the fact that when she goes out on errands she tries to be funky and it's really just gross. I would think Kristen would do errands in jeans and a t shirt.
Had to give it to Tyra because I just couldn't cope with the idea of giving Spencer&Heidi more "honours" to misunderstand.
And while the socks with flipflops was a egregious fashion error, Tilda Swinton is batshit insane. Fabulous, but batshit insane.
It PAINS me that Tyra's getting her ass handed to her. Pains me. And as much as I hate Spencer and Heidi (and I don't even watch their godforsaken show), Heidi can only aspire to that level of weaveology. Elton John dreams of having weaves that spectacular.
Never watched The Hills (or whatever show they're on) but Heidi and Spencer get my vote simply because of Heidi's self-mutilation. It actually makes me sad to see side-by-side photographic evidence of what she's done to herself.
You had me at the benefits of socks and flip flops. Heather & Jessica, I would love to be at the next table over when you dine with Tilda & K-Fed.
Ack! Don't vote for Heidi and The Douchelord. Any acknowledgement of their existence only feeds the fugly evil.
Admittedly, Eva Green has made some poor fashion choices in days past, but her recent dresses were pure magic. All of her Golden Compass premiere dresses were gorgeous. Nicole, on the other hand, is CONSISTENTLY fug. I have hopes for Eva Green, but Nicole has dashed my heart into a million pieces of fug.
Whenever Tyra appears in anything it should say "fashion model" with the quote marks......as in "eligidly"...even that hairdo looks like it should have quotes around it....
"fashion hair" (eligidly)
I like Tilda...K-feds clothing isn't interesting enough to be Fug
Hey... at least Tilda is interesting. She may be kooky, but it usually somehow works on her... only on her.
K-Fed? Fug-city! The guy needs a stylist that he didn't grow up, smoke dope with, or dance with. In other words, someone willing to tell him that white-trash/Kid Rock fashions are not "fashion."
ps. I Think Nicole is a actually a robot at this point....It's probably part of the scientologists' plot. 1.kidnap celebrity, 2.create robot......and strangely she is constantly seen in the company of another OBVIOUS robot. Karl Lagerfeld....I actually prefer to call him "Lager-Bot"
OMG, Z...that's another reason I love Tilda so. The Bowie thing.
Heidi has turned into Miss Piggy.
And that's just not right.
K-Fed vs. Tilda made my brain ache - toughest call of the tournament! He may be the dark horse to take it all.
If you make a "we blame spencer" tee, I'll buy at least one!!!
K-Fed in a cape!!!!! Delicious!
So glad to see Nicole seeded so high - for a beautiful woman, she has a TERRIBLE fashion sense...and we are supposed to be including hair and makeup in our decision-making process, right? Because the straw blonde and the waxen botoxed complexion went a long way in making my choice easy.
Mischa Barton should be in the Final Four. She is one of the foundational members of GFY.
I think Heidi's parents need to have an intervention and have Spencer put into the septic tank underneath their front yard and never spoken of again...
Federleezy takes this bracket.
I had to give it to Nicole for pure nonredheadedness (should be a word) alone. If the woman would just wear her hair red, her beauty might distract me from the inevitable fug going on below her neck. As it is she's just a pale, pale, skinny, pale canvas for her fug.
There is nothing wrong with shopping at thrift stores for clothes but Mischa Barton gives the practice a bad name.
I had to vote for Mischa. Simply because your "pocahotmess" caption when originally posted made me laugh and snort coffee out my nose. Which burned btw.
Tilda makes my eyes bleed - Kevin is just a skeeve.
I don't know why the Barton family gave their daughter a male name, but maybe this would explain her style. Maybe she was so traumatised that she decided that with a name like that she could pull off the BATSHITCRAZEEE. Sorry, Mischa, you can't.
Eva Green is simply... khm. She's so beautiful. And I looove the old hollywood drama. And vintage/retro look is made of win. But why does she make this SO over-the-top-that-it-hurts-your-eye-to-look?
While Tyra is truly fug, I had to choose Spencer and Heidi purely for fugness of SPIRIT.
If I saw K-Fed in the lobby of my office building I would call security immediately. He's filthy, and has a shifty-eyed "I'm casing this joint" affect. Serious, heavy-duty yuck. He must make the semi-finals against Paris Hilton.
Amber, I so agree. Much as I adore Tyra and her crazy eyelashes, Spencer and Heidi are fugly on the INside and that's worse.
Also, the mere thought of Tilda and K-Fed dining together has me running to the networks with a new reality show. (Celebrity Blind Date! Mismatched celebrity couples search for love!)
I never have, and never will, watch "The Hills." I have an averse physical reaction to every photo I see of that plastic phony and her closeted squire. I voted for them even though they don't deserve one more column inch of publicity.
K-Fed: agree with all comments, adding an extra dose of slimeballosity.
I'm torn. I want to give the fug to Heidi and Spencer for their overall nauseating-ness (see – even my brain seizes up when I see them) but on the other hand, I think they'd leap at the chance to claim any title ending in "Award", even if it's preceded by "Fug".
Ehhhhhhhhhh. What to do... what ... to... do...
Hima, I so wish I'd read your comments before voting for the Heidi/Spencer duo of destruction. You're right...this is exactly what they would have wanted. Damn damn damn.
On a side note, I can't WAIT for Heidi to come out with a fashion line so terrible even Spencer won't go to the runway show.
Having had a girl-crush on Tilda since "Orlando" I could never vote for her, especially in light of the fug that is K-Fed, but I have to admit she does bring the whack-a-doo to the red carpet.
"We blame Spencer (and have written that so many times we should probably start selling it as a t-shirt"
I would TOTALLY buy that!
K-Fed vs. Tilda: Tilda 1) has talent and brains, and 2) appears to bathe. 'Nuff said.
Tyra vs. Speidi: Tyra may appear Mrs. Roper-ish at times, but she's not icky.
Nicole K. vs. Eva G.: Nicole's overly Botoxed, frozen, lizard-lady face creeps me out. She used to be such a pretty woman. Now she looks like an escapee from Madame Tussaud's.
Kristen vs. Mischa: Kristen's only fashion crime, as I see it, is to be a petite woman in a world full of clothes not designed for wee women. I know, because I'm one of them. It's hard not to look stumpy. I feel for you, Kristen. Besides, Mischa has that DUI. And is fuglier.
"We blame Spencer"
Definitely a million-dollar idea.
I saw that photo of KFed in a suit at a fashion event - with the weird haircut - and he actually looked kind of good. But I still voted for him and his hilariousness. Tilda Swinton is awesome too. It's sad when these super fugians go head to head. Only one can survive. I feel that way about Hilary Duff. She is pretty amazing, even if she didn't stand a chance against Bai Ling. Poor girl.
I feel it's a pity that Bai Ling didn't fall under Bjork's category. I would've liked to see her thrash it out with her secret long-lost brother Bobby Trendy...
Fug you, Speidi!* Take Mischa Barton with you when you're called back to Hell, you're all worthless.
*pronounced spidey
Heidi and Spencer don't even deserve a spot, mostly because I believe their particular brand of "fug of the soul" should be buried in a dark place for the rest of time.
Tyra on the other hand just brings so much joy to my life that I want to see more and more of her. I still think her weave should have gotten its own seed.
There was a photo of K-Fed in People the other week--he was on the golf course, and boyfriend was the size of a HOUSE. Seriously, he looked like the uncle your parents fight about inviting to Thanksgiving, the one who smells a little bit like pee and tries to cover it up with Old Spice.
I'm beginning to have an ethical dilemna while playing this game: is it in keeping with the spirit of the competition to vote against someone who clearly deserves a shot at the title so as to avoid willingly seeing that person again? I'm torn in cases such as Tilda vs. Kevin. Clearly Kevin deserves the upset win there but I can't bring myself to vote for him because then his trashy mug will burn my eyes yet again in a few days. Ah, ethics...
I truly love you girls.
Tyra over Heidi and Spencer. Tyra is fugly and fierce but the other two are just tacky attention-whores. They cant dress well but I feel Tyra should take it for the win.
All I want for Easter is one of them eerie morph photos of all the winners of this contest superimposed over one another. I picture something with Tyra's hair, Bai-Ling's personality #7's midriff, crocheted rubber leggings, and the piece de resistance, flip-flops with socks! Thank you for making me laugh until my stomach hurts. You gals are brilliant!
Just curious - am I the only one who hates Nicole Kidman? I can't even stand to look at her.
Tilda, please. Wear makeup. You look like a pale blob without it. I'm tall, pale and redheaded, but at least I don't look like I was standing too close when Tom Sawyer was working on the fence, yanno? Anything she wears always pales in comparison to the full moon of fug that could turn into beauty if ONLY she'd subscribe to strategically applied colour.
Ok - Spencer and Heidi...I don't even know these people or watch their show (The OC? Laguna Beach? 90210 is on again???) - but seeing them makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit...and I feel like I may have done a disservice by voting for them because I don't really have so much of a problem with their clothes...because I don't know that I know what they wear - as soon as I see their faces - I just have to look away - they burn my retinas.
Kristen vs. Misha? Hardly a choice. Misha wins hands down, from the headband, to the ooky ex-boyfriend, to showing up at church, looking like an 8-year-old at her first communion after her DUI arrest.
I couldn't bring myself to fug a pregnant broad, so I had to go with Eva on matchup #2. After all, I give Nicole a pass for the PTSD I'm sure she's still suffering from after having to be Mrs. Tom Cruise.
Speidi gets my vote for the new knockers alone.
And Tilda is our generation's Vannessa Redgrave. Talented, intelligent, and just a pinch bat-shit crazy. Not to mention an Oscar winner! So I had to go with Fed-Ex.
I get so confused and stressed over these decisions. If only I could warrant this much research and detailed inquiry into the each presidential nominee...
Is it legitimate that I voted for Nicole Fugman based solely on her scary botoxed-out face? meh, too late.
I totally worship Tilda Swinton. She shouldn't even be here. She's beautiful and brilliant, and her fashion choices are funky statements of her originality and uniqueness. FedEx is just white trash, and oozes fug from every pore. (Don't forget one of his worst erstwhile accessories: Britney.)
I also worship the Fug Girls. I can't go without my daily dose.
Oh please, please, PLEASE make that "We blame Spencer" t-shirt.
Tilda is a GODDESS -- she is beyond mere human fugliness. How can you even compare her original, soulful, incredible, divine gorgeousness with someone whose style (if you can call it that)is FILTH. Having digusting personal habits and refusing to bathe do not make for a personal look.
Fug Girls, truly, you rock our worlds. Thank you for your dedication to the cause.
Thank god you finally noticed how many times you've given Kristen Bell a Well-Played lately! I think she may actually have more Well-Playeds than anyone else. That's not to say that her tent dresses and grandma wear have been erased from our memories, or your archives, for that matter . . .
I also have a difficult time understanding where the Nicole Kidman hatred comes from. Perhaps if there were a botox/plastic surgery bracket (ideas for next year? Heidi + Nicole + Tara + Posh = body fug fabulousness)
Oh, and Tyra should know better, just like Kate Moss. Girl runs a freakin model competition and has access to whatever clothes she wants.
I don't know who Heidi and Spencer are, but they displease me.
Tilda is a fasion muse (for the evercrazy vikor & rolf) and i love love love her. f-fed is just a joke.
I can't believe K-fed is winning. I mean Tilda is a complete oddball, and therefore I respect her version of fug.
I love the intentionally fashion crazy. At least Tilda and Eva don't play it safe and become Zoe clones. Some people should always be over the top.
The blonde Hollywood clones and ghetto wannabes need to stop. We have many. We don't need more.
It was so utterly satisfying to vote for K-Fed! I've been waiting to stick-it to him ever since I first saw the photo of the white-tube-socks/flip flops ensemble. I laughed for DAYS after that post and it was quite a treat to re-chortle over that priceless pic.
Did I not JUST SAY yesterday that the only thing fuglier than mesh shoes was socks with sandals? Oh, K-Fed, I almost hated you less until that unfortunate photo.
Plus, Tilda Swinton can do whatever the heck she wants, because she is AMAZING.
Woogie, I know, right?
Tilda = Bowie! I would be so gay for her.
And no, Emily.
You are not alone. Nicole Kidman looks like she hungers for brains.
Whenever I see that pic of Kevin, I see a low-rent Flava Flav (who by the by should TOTALLY do an "Odd Couple"-style reality show with Brett Michaels when their latest adventures in finding women who'll screw them ... I mean "finding love" go in the dumper).
I have never laughed so hard as I did at the K-Fed/Tilda match-up. It's like I forgot that both K-Fed and Tilda Swinton are part of the same species until there they are - battling it out for fug (even though it's not even a contest - very few people out-fug Mr. Fed).
When I saw this year's Oscars, my inner commentator said, "The role of Tilda Swinton will be played by David Bowie." Does he know that she is now the Thin White Duke?
Yet, somehow, she is uniquely hot. K-Fed's quotidian, thug-next-door fug is boooooring. It's too bad Tilda was eliminated so soon. She's a classy... person.
tilda swinton is not human so doesnt count
To vote for Heidi and Spencer would mean I would have to actually acknowledge that they exist. I prefer my little island of denial. Tyra by default.
Can K-Fed be winning? He's, well, just gross. But Tilda - that woman personfies the FUG! OMG, the shot of her from the Oscars is just plain SCARY! Oh, to be taken down in the first round by Brittany's ex! Sigh.
The last two matchups were simple for me...
Tyra and Tilda have a flair for dramatic fugliness which I will gladly take any day over the "common" fugliness that is K-fed, Heidi and Spencer. Anyone could come up with what they're wearing.
Dear Mrs. Urban,
I know that you don't have a shot at winning this contest. The real contenders are the kind of folks that would be proud to be called champion because they have worked determinedly towards it with their Fug of Publicity, or Fug of Eccentricity, or Fug of Crazy Whatever whatever. You are not one of them and therefore, I suspect, are not worried too much about this little bit of Fug Madness. In fact, you are probably a little miffed that you are even seeded to begin with.
But I just want you to know that personally I think that yours is the Greatest Fug Of All. Would you like to know why? Because yours is the Fug of Betrayal.
Not too long ago you were seen as an icon of millennium style. You dressed with class, confidence, elegance and ease. You had worshipful Vogue covers. You had Chanel contracts. It was you who single-handedly started the whole red-carpet-who-are-you-wearing phenomenom back in 1997. You survived a divorce that many thought would ruin your career, earned yourself some real professional respect, and won an Oscar.
Then you freaked out about turning 40 and showed up in public in a see-through dress. You even had the audacity to lean over in it.
May I remind you that your fans are not the ones that equate revealing with relevant.
And let's not even mention the Botox.
For all those women who were looking to you for a little inspiration about how to make the transition into their 40's with grace and some wit, here's a big fat thank you in the form of my vote for the fugliest. When you figure out that trying to be a scantily-clad 24-year-old blonde is not working for you, give us a call. We still love you. It's just time for the love to be tough.
XOXO,
39-and-holding
I would say Tilda is the true queen of fug (Yes, even above Bai Ling and Big Lovin' Chloe.), but she's so strange and cool, it works for her and transends true fugdom.
Eva Green winning? Really? But her clothes are so... fantastic. Wizarding robes! Fantastic!
the way you let genders compete - that is so damn hot.
Tyra's dress is mother-of-the-bride.
It is beyond me that K-Fed is winning this. I believe the definition of fug implies that the person must be capable of improving their appearance... which I don't feel K-Fed is.
I don't think Tilda should be in the competition. She may dress fugly but she has her own crazy fugly style. Sure, no one else could wear it, but she makes it look insanely wonderful.
Seriously, K-Fed should *almost* win the whole thing just for those flip flops - it just doesn't get any worse than that!
Heather & Jessica!
Can you pretty please make 'I blame Spencer' tshirts? It would be way too entertaining to wear around.
Hee -- we'll see what we can do. I think that's pretty funny. You KNOW he'd buy one himself.
Comments for this entry are closed, as the voting is now closed! Onward and upward!