(3) PARIS HILTON vs. (15) BRITTANY MURPHY
Well, I'm about out of material. We weren't expecting that Brittany Murphy -- one of the last people to crawl into the brackets, to be honest -- would make it this far. In fact, we weren't even picking her to win that Round One clash against Gwen Stefani, who is not tremendously far off from Chloe Sevigny in terms of having her personal style drilled into us as Very Advanced, and in fact Unimpeachable, even when it looks pretty damn impeachable and unpeachy to the naked eye. Gwen versus Paris would've been pretty sweet. As it is, B.Murph and her Lips Of Bad Judgment sit in this slot, and the well of fun fuggery is running dry. This is the best I can do:
Yeah, it's sort of weird -- bad hair extensions, and shoes that prompted Jessica to think, from a very large distance, that Brittany was roller-skating into a fashion show -- and whatever she did to her face is still a problem. But other than this and the other outfits we've showcased, we're out of ideas here. Which isn't to say she can't mount a charge; just that the poor kid apparently should've reconsidered going anywhere at ALL in the month of February, because so far those outings have been keeping her afloat here in the Pacifug Ocean and we're sure she'd rather go moor the S.S. Restylane somewhere else.
For her part, Paris's stank wardrobe has already dispatched with two of her friends and/or favorite props -- Elisha Cuthbert, then Kimberly Stewart -- and I am now wondering why she and Brittany here don't hang out more often. She and Benji could double-date with Brittany and her maybe-former-check-kiting-husband Simon Monjack (which totally sounds like something you would order on top of a hamburger, as if he was trying to come up with an alias in the dairy aisle of the supermarket and a packet of Monterey Jack caught his eye), and talk about all their favorite weaves and mascaras and pieces of bling.
Like this one:
[Photo: Splash News]
Yep, that is the infamous "BM" ring peeking up from her Michael Jackson gloves, and yeah, Benji Madden's parents totally should've thought of how awkward that sounds before they named their kid, and sure, Paris probably needed to consider that angle before she shoved that ring on her finger. But, actually, we're fairly confident Paris has never been too fussed about where she sticks that finger or what gets stuck on it. And we'll grant that it's preferable to a tattoo, which she would almost certainly regret next week and have to change from, say, "PARIS LOVES BENJI MADDEN," to the grammatically astonishing, "PARIS LOVES BE MAD," and nobody wants that. It's just so ridiculous, though -- costumey, attention-seeking, cheap-looking, and lame. Kind of like Paris herself.
And so: Surf Paris's archive, check out old Fug Madness posts on Brittany Murphy, and decide which one you think is the greater crime against humanity -- or at least, against our eyes.
based on these pictures alone, i had to go with murph. but if we're judging on pure fugliness of the SOUL, then hilton has it.
Is this even a contest? I can't believe Brittany Murphy has as many votes as she does...over Paris Freaking HILTON, are you kidding me, people?
if the queen herself - posh - can't pull off a leather driving glove, what on earth makes paris think she can pull off what i can only assume is a cotton, bedazzled version?
I know, it's easy to pick Paris. But I think she has actually looked quite classy in the past sometimes, as in Brittany... I don't like what she's wearing *all of the time*. So...
I hate to give Pissus (typo, but I'm keeping it) any more attention but Brittany is a relatively weak contender so . . . [sigh] I had to go with the P.
I think soul gets major points. And the archive. Paris has my vote.
You got it right the first time- Paris' complete being is the greater crime agst humanity- fug appearance, fug personality.
Had to go with Paris. Paris, who looked like a peacock in a dress.
I voted for Brittany. When I look at her my face does this.
Paris - is ugly of soul, indeed.
I think, based solely on the panties/no panties escapades, Paris deserves to win this round.
I don't get it. Have Brittany-bashers flocked here or something? I'm not a fan of hers, but it's my firm belief that both her past opponents have far out-fugged her.
Any person you feel like you could get something from just by standing within six feet of just HAS to be fugged. P-stank gets the vote.
Paris wins this hands-down, not only for the fugliness of the soul (which she owns) but also because she has (or had) zillions of dollars to spend on fashion and STILL looks like she's always wearing super-sized Barbie clothes. Brittany Murphy may be richer than I am, but no way was she ever tapping into Hilton Hotels cash. So besides the PURE RAW EVIL that is Paris' soul, she takes a larger deduction for wasted resources.
Paris, hands down. How can you argue with someone who repeatedly parades around with her face on her shirt?
Paris, hands down. How can you argue with someone who repeatedly parades around with her face on her shirt?
Paris it is!
Uh, doesn't Polterwang count for anything?
How do you know BM doesn't stand for Brittany Murphy (in tribute)? Anyway, in the clash between BM and the BM ring, the ring takes it every time. It's so funny I almost want one. Almost.
Wow, I can't believe Murphy has even 13% at this point. The fish lips are pretty freaky, but compared to Paris? Paris??
You're killing me.
Of course I have to vote for The High Priestess of BM. Of course I do. But... Cheese and rice, Brittany Murphy makes me ill. She must be stopped. No talent, fake lips, ridiculous attempts at "fashion" that demonstrate she is painfully unaware of the fact that she's VERY VERY SHORT.
What else? Oh yeah: her real first name is Sharon, and she beat out my poor little niece for the lead role in the high school play right before she landed Clueless, even though she couldn't sing, dance or act, so I reserve the right to hate her forever. (For reals! She couldn't carry Dorothy Gale then, and she couldn't carry it now. And man, was she ever the stumpy little pudgette, with Michael Imperioli eyebrows and a charming New Jersey accent. "Soooome-WHEEEAAHH, o-vah da rain-bow...")
To think my niece could have been the lucky one who was dumped by Ashton Kutcher for a 90-year-old "hottie" who is being held together with a melange of upholstery thread, injectable beef tallow and leeches! Life is so unfair.
Aw, hell, Paris has enough votes. I'm sticking it to Sharon.
I'm so very Meh on this match up. Paris is just...Paris. If it were an attention whoring contest, I'd say she had it all sewn up. But fashionwise? Yawn.
I just want to see Sevigny, Stone, and The Peldon in a three-way smackdown at this point.
Oh my gosh, Enthralled, what a story. You have earned the right to vote for Sharon. :)
H and J - I am only realizing now the depth of your shock about the Gwen beat down from Brittany Murphy. Was actually thinking about it in the car on the way to work. (Am deeply invested in this Madness, clearly.) I can only offer up my rationale: most of Gwen's pics seemed to be when she was on stage and so I personally discounted the theatrics! Perhaps others did that same! BUT, I am in total agreement that we are supposed to be in awe of her unimpeachable style, which, day to day, I do hate. And now she is fugging all over poor Kingston, who although adorable, sounds like he was named after a dog.
Murphy. Paris is so bad she doesn't deserve the title of Fug.
Just the fact that she walks around with a ring that says "BM" is enough for me to award Paris with my vote.
I had to vote for Paris this time. Seriously, I CANNOT TAKE ANYMORE WORKOUT GLOVES AS FASHION...I'm talking to you Posh Spice! And honestly, I'll never forget Brittany from Cluless...I just loved her then.
Just an entertaining FYI - Brittany M's shoes were in NY Times Sunday section last weekend as part of the "Fashion Week in Paris" pictorial on "IT" shoes. What it is, I don't know. They could be worse, though. Linky: http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/03/21/fashion/0323-STREET_6.html
Oh, and the BM ring on Hilton makes me wonder if she's telling us she's the new spokesperson for Metamucil.
Paris, although Brittany in that pic wearing the scary jumpsuit with her leg up on her manager gave me nightmares.
I'm tremendously disappointed Gwen Stefani is not in this line-up and feel minisculely responsible as I was very busy and important working and not able to vote in Ms. Stefani's fugcase. And just clicking anything in favor of Paris felt morally repulsive. Soldier on...
Murphy, no doubt. All of you must rid yourselves of the P--is envy or whatever it is about her that keeps the vapid one on the tips of your tongues. However, if the fug girls and the rest of the world continue to make mention of her, Mr.Mrs. Salon suggests that Ms. Hilton does some babysitting in Tibet, or finds any way possible to better understand euthanasia.
brit murph has the fug, sure, but she's like a mid-major here who is getting a taste of what it takes to be a high-major fug.
i mean, there's no way to compete with divisions like hilton, sev, ling, or stone.
I really like Brittany Murphy ... I think she's funny and cute - but she kind of resembles a picture you'd buy in Tijuana of a chihuahua painted on black velvet.
yeah, the BM rings effing kills me. at least his name is not Benji Jones. it would be too obvious.
How did Murph morph from the cute, curly-haired redhead she was in Clueless to some frumpy Park Avenue dowager? Saddening, but not fugly enough to eclipse Paris, who I hate with the white-hot fire of a thousand suns. This is a woman who accessorizes with animals she later discards like last year's handbag, but can't remember to sport a pair of panties. No contest.
I kind of like the idea of BM standing for Bowel Movement -- that's the tradition acronym for that term. And fitting.
I think maybe Brittany has gone looney. For realsies. Like, certifiable and shit. Paris is just an annoying whore who won't go away no matter how much we want her to. I would love to vote for her, but I so desperately wish should would stumble upon an anti gravity field at Bloomies and get sucked into outer space for ever and ever, wonky eye and all, never to be mentioned again.
So, I had to vote for Brit. What is with the dark tights/trouser socks (?) and the white grandma-disco shoes? Just.........no.
Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton. There is nothing but fug in that girl from her fried out hair to her black, black soul of fug.
It is a tough call, because in my opinion both of these women dress pretty well a good chunk of the time, but when they dress bad they dress very, very bad.
But I sided with Paris because if Spiedi is getting voted through as "fugly on the inside" then she definetly should be!
I think this is the easist round for me to choose in all of the sweet sixteen-there is just no way B.Murph comes anywhere near Paris' level of fuggitude. Whereas I just feel sorry for poor Brittany, Paris is one who can never be pitied-she is fug of soul, clothes, and "body" of work. Run Benji!
Paris has the money, the time, and (to be fair) the looks to be fabulous ALL THE TIME, and effs it up ALL THE TIME. And she isn't even creative about it. Poor 'lil Brittany isn't in the same galaxy, let alone the same league.
I know that we aren't supposed to let our personal views of celebrities influence our votes, but is that even possible? While Paris does show up places occasionally not looking like a attention-whoring train wreck, she also DOES, A LOT.
And, I can not get over how many shirts she has with her name/face on them. Who does that? Fug all the way.
The hotel heiress. The day should only come that she's disinherited. Fugly in and out.
This was a bit of a toughie.
However, based on soul...Paris is the fuglier one. I had to vote for her.
Brittany wins some points for doing the voice of Luanne on "King of the Hill," which requires some talent and humor. True, I sat through an advance screening of "Little Black Book," and I still haven't recovered. But the good will wins out.
Plus, Paris is beyond socially irredemable. She's a drag on the collective soul of the world. Plus, she dresses like a demented elementary schoolgirl playing princess. Who is also a nymphomaniac.
Paris wears clothes with her own face on them . . . 'nuff said.
How can I not vote Paris in this match-up?
I had to vote Paris. Regardless of Britney's ducklips, Paris's astonishing fugitude outweighs anything Britney can dish out. For serious.
Based on pure principal, Paris. I would feel ashamed of myself if I didn't vote for her.
Money can't buy love or class......but it can buy a QUEEN OF FUG title!
I had to go for Brittany because I believe while fugging your clothes is bad, when you actually fug your face, permanently, that takes it to a whole new level.
I'm sorry but Brittany needed to be knocked out of this contest two rounds ago. Paris all the way!
It's obvious Paris, I mean the woman gave us the barbie. The totally inappropriate picture of herself on a shirt. She gave the simple life, clearly crimes against humanity and my eyes.
I'm sorry but Brittany needed to be knocked out of this contest two rounds ago. Paris all the way!
Even though I can not stand the fact that B. Murph is the reincarnation of Howard the Duck, she can not even play in the same league as she who shall not be named.
It's obvious Paris, I mean the woman gave us the barbie. The totally inappropriate picture of herself on a shirt. She gave the simple life, clearly crimes against humanity and my eyes.
Even though I can not stand the fact that B. Murph is the reincarnation of Howard the Duck, she can not even play in the same league as she who shall not be named.
Even though I can not stand the fact that B. Murph is the reincarnation of Howard the Duck, she can not even play in the same league as she who shall not be named.
Even though I can not stand the fact that B. Murph is the reincarnation of Howard the Duck, she can not even play in the same league as she who shall not be named.
Paris is magic. The new Warhol. Eat Dust, Murphy. Let's flush all the duck lipped child actors out of this competition at this point- even they are not abject enough to be ranking Fug Officers. I'd prefer it to be Peldon, Paris, Price, and Ling, so that Fug Nasty is what the winner enters on her Tax Return.
Paris is just so smug and posturing, she's just begging to be fugged (or something...).
Paris is magic. The new Warhol. Eat Dust, Murphy. Let's flush all the duck lipped child actors out of this competition at this point- even they are not abject enough to be ranking Fug Officers. I'd prefer it to be Peldon, Paris, Price, and Ling, so that Fug Nasty is what the winner enters on her Tax Return.
Even though I can not stand the fact that B. Murph has become Howard the Duck, she can not even play in the same league as she who shall not be named.
I LOVE the Bjork pic that heads this bracket. Makes me laugh each and every time this bracket comes up.
And I voted for Paris because she is exudes fug from her every pore.
Murphy all the way. Paris HAS looked CUTE at times (rarely-- but when she pulls if off it's amazing) and her clothes generally fit and looks like she knows exactly what she's doing. Britney just looks lost and hopeless.
Even though I can not stand the fact that B. Murph has become Howard the Duck, she can not even play in the same league as she who shall not be named.
Paris better win this one. Or, I'm gonna bitchslap her.
"Brittany wins some points for doing the voice of Luanne on "King of the Hill," which requires some talent and humor. "
DRDAN, I totally agree. I've always had a soft spot for her because of that.
Wow, the Fug girls really tried to drill this one home, didn't they? I was going to vote for Paris all along, but now I think it would've been fun to see H + J's comments to another Murphy win.
Alas, on with the Madness.
Neither Brittany nor Paris is as fugly as C.Peld, Ling, Fergie, Price or Stone (to name a few), but I'll go with Paris. I saw one of her designs (a dress) at Marshall's yesterday, and it was the fugliest thing I've ever seen. Wal-Mart probably sells cuter clothes.
Neither Brittany nor Paris is as fugly as C.Peld, Ling, Fergie, Price or Stone (to name a few), but I'll go with Paris. I saw one of her designs (a dress) at Marshall's yesterday, and it was the fugliest thing I've ever seen. Wal-Mart probably sells cuter clothes.
Paris gets my vote because, sadly, she's influential, which means not only does SHE fug it up, she inspires other young girls to fug it up in a similar fashion. That's just bad form.
Paris has my vote! Her wonky eye gets her double points.
Paris has my vote! Her wonky eye gets her double points.
The Madonna bracket is coming -- we're having some publishing problems here...
Tough, but I had to vote Paris. Sometimes Paris's fug almost works, whereas Brit's is always crazy-cat-lady. But what put Paris over the top was that at least Brit never wore anything with her own name/face emblazoned on it. And she seems to keep her legs closed when a camera is nearby.
Ah Paris. Alas, your fugging-fashion sense is not the only abhorrent aspect of your person. Truly, you are fug to the core, regardless of how you choose to adorn yourself.
I love how all the commenters to this site can spell!!
I feel even more at one with the gfy-community now. Big kisses.
Paris: Fug though art, and unto fug shalt thou return.
Ms. Restlyane 2008's fug run is over. Paris all the way, baby. Paris' fug simply overwhelms B. Murph's fug and lips. Fug advantage (too easy) - Paris.
Whoa. Way harsh Tai. (I really don't have a comment- this is a no brainer. I just really, really wanted to say that.)
Poor Paris...she knows not what she does...I hope. If she does know, then I pity her petty little soul.
Even though I can not stand the fact that B. Murph has become Howard the Duck, she can not even play in the same league as she who shall not be named.
Well, they are both horrid creatures, but Paris gets my vote if only because she thinks West Africa is a country. Does that make her a fug-tard
Voted Hilton, although Murphy's face alone is enough for me to wake up screaming. I just can't ignore the long, long, long history of fugnaciousness that is Paris Hilton. I will also NEVER get that package-displaying-blue-dress out of my mind. EVER.
I'm voting for PHil almost purely because of The Hottie and the Nottie. Hmm...kinda like Paris and Brittany? Just because Brittany had a bad month or so doesn't mean she should go down in the annals.
While Britney certainly has more than her share of really really bad outfits - she cannot compare, since she evidently insists on staying home on at least one or two nights out of the year, to Paris and the volume and scope of her contributions to the fug universe - since she manages to be out every night at the most dreadful non-events in the most God-awful rags money can buy or steal. Is it any wonder that when we see Paris now - we long for the simplicity and the clean lines of her orange jumpsuit?