FERGIE: Hey there, mama.
EVA MENDES: Hey, Mary-Kate!
FERGIE: What? I'm not Mary-Kate.
EVA: Oh, GOD, sorry, Ashley. I'm so sorry. I forgot to check your eyebrows before I made my guess.
FERGIE: I'm not an Olsen. I'm Fergie. The singer? Hot fiance? Peed myself?
EVA: Right. RIGHT. I don't know what I was thinking. You just look... Olsen-esque in that outfit, with that hair. But I should have known -- you're too orange to be an Olsen.
FERGIE: What's with you today?
EVA: You're also too orange to be yourself, though, actually.
FERGIE: Yeah? Well. Humph.
EVA: Your lovely lady humph. HA! I'm hilarious!
FERGIE. Sure you are. Speaking of which, did YOU always have such shelf-boobs?
EVA: Was that necessary?
FERGIE: Seriously, those things stick out way further than I remember, assuming of course that we've ever met before.
EVA: At this rate we probably shouldn't ever meet again. I don't think this went well.
FERGIE: No. You're not coming to the wedding.
