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July 30, 2008

One Fug In Paris

paris_hilton_benji_07_wenn1999540.jpg
[Photo: WENN]

BENJI: Ready to go, Paris?

PARIS: Word.

BENJI: OK, let me just unlock the car.

PARIS: SNAP, dude.

BENJI: What is wrong with you?

PARIS: Nothing. I'm hip.

BENJI: Really.

PARIS: Yes. We're, like, takin' it to the streets in a Hybrid. I am way cool and I want to save the Izod layer.

BENJI: You mean ozone layer?

PARIS: Whatever. Dig it, Jack -- I'm in a SUIT, I look like a freaking lawyer, but my hat keeps it REAL, because I am real. I want to go to go to wherever this iPhone layer is and I'm going to save it. Maybe by taking photos with orphans. I'm, like, out here fixing people's lives.

BENJI: I'm pretty sure shorts and a vest don't all count as a suit. Also, we're not doing charity work. We're shopping.

PARIS: Yeah, and I am pretty sure that changed at least one shopgirl's entire world, because now she has, like, my autograph, and knows what I smell like. Now stop bugging me, and either get me pregnant so I can change THAT child's life, or go away.

BENJI: Tempting.

PARIS: Which one?

BENJI: Both.

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