Can we talk about the ads for the new 90210? They are ALL OVER Los Angeles right now and my blood boils every single time I see them. Let's take a closer look:
From left to right:
Dude at the Bottom of the 0: Do you have a porn 'stache, or is that just an unfortunate shadow? Because, frankly, I can't decide if hipster facial hair would be a terrible, terrible hair and make-up choice here, or if having a high school student/TV heartthrob with a big ol' mustache is funny enough that it's worth it.
Dude Holding AnnaLynne McCord: Are you supposed to seem smarmy? I'm okay with that. I mean, Chuck Bass is smarmy and I love him deeply, truly and without reservation (other than about the fact that he's fictional. Also, kind of a psychopath/turtleneck enthusiast). But I suspect that you, sir, are no Chuck Bass. On the other hand, you appear to have good arms. Carry on.
AnnaLynne McCord: Tyra would be so proud of you for doing what she once deemed "the booty tooch." As are, I'm sure, the horny old exes at The WB. Er, The CW. Wow, I just fell over and landed in 1998 for a second there, didn't I?
HEADBAND: This is where the rage begins. What kind of dumbass girl wears a hipster scarf headband that MATCHES HER BATHING SUIT into the pool? A girl whose face seems to long to make the acquaintance of my fist, that's who.
That Kid Who Was in The Wire: My anger subsides. Tristan Wilds is too cute to be rage-adjacent.
The Other Girl: How long do you think it'll take before this poor kid is shipped back to Degrassi so The CW can afford to pay Shannen Doherty's on-set acupuncturist? At least she can take comfort in her good hair.
And it's not like the ad think-tank at The CW doesn't know what to do with a provocative television show of hot teens who occasionally find themselves in a swimming pool:
Dude at the Bottom of the 0: Do you have a porn 'stache, or is that just an unfortunate shadow? Because, frankly, I can't decide if hipster facial hair would be a terrible, terrible hair and make-up choice here, or if having a high school student/TV heartthrob with a big ol' mustache is funny enough that it's worth it.
Dude Holding AnnaLynne McCord: Are you supposed to seem smarmy? I'm okay with that. I mean, Chuck Bass is smarmy and I love him deeply, truly and without reservation (other than about the fact that he's fictional. Also, kind of a psychopath/turtleneck enthusiast). But I suspect that you, sir, are no Chuck Bass. On the other hand, you appear to have good arms. Carry on.
AnnaLynne McCord: Tyra would be so proud of you for doing what she once deemed "the booty tooch." As are, I'm sure, the horny old exes at The WB. Er, The CW. Wow, I just fell over and landed in 1998 for a second there, didn't I?
HEADBAND: This is where the rage begins. What kind of dumbass girl wears a hipster scarf headband that MATCHES HER BATHING SUIT into the pool? A girl whose face seems to long to make the acquaintance of my fist, that's who.
That Kid Who Was in The Wire: My anger subsides. Tristan Wilds is too cute to be rage-adjacent.
The Other Girl: How long do you think it'll take before this poor kid is shipped back to Degrassi so The CW can afford to pay Shannen Doherty's on-set acupuncturist? At least she can take comfort in her good hair.
And it's not like the ad think-tank at The CW doesn't know what to do with a provocative television show of hot teens who occasionally find themselves in a swimming pool:
So I guess I don't see where it all went wrong across the hallway, you know?
