Evidently, it's a fake-hair-palooza at GFY HQ today. Initially, I was going to fold this photo of Paris Hilton's box of extensions into other bit with her that I did, but in fact, it demands its own post -- in part because there is no way Paris, either in real life or in parody, could offer the proper perspective on the hilariousness of this packaging. Seriously, it may have made my morning.
Behold, The Bandit:
Or should I say, "The Bandit," thanks to the unnecessary quotation marks that give it a delicious ironic air-quotes effect -- like whoever designed this is all, "Seriously, the only similarity this has to an actual bandit is that it ALSO should be outlawed." And yet it is AWESOME. I particularly enjoy the gentle elegance of Paris' heartfelt "That's Hot!" endorsement. It amuses me that the packaging's proofreader refused to let Paris spell it with her signature "hott" and yet allowed the erroneous non-word "Everytime" to find its way on there. Not that anyone will notice, because we are all too hypnotized by Paris's sultry gaze. Yes, thanks to her 22-inch hair that's been hot-glue-gunned to a piece of cloth, Paris FINALLY has the confidence to undress you with her eyes, although I think she also wears that same expression when she attempts math, uses her microwave, or is asked to spell her name.
However, I completely believe the claim that this product has "fashion on the run," as there is no way anyone or anything associated with actual fashion -- except maybe the Heatherette boys -- would do anything but flee screaming from this. And yet I am equally certain I will end up buying it at some point, because I have a not-so-secret love of deeply fake hair and its attendant camp factor, and Halloween is RIGHT around the corner. In fact, I wore J.Simp's extensions the year I went as Fergie, but those clip in and can't be torn off in the head of a catfight without some serious scalp issues. So these might be even better. I mean, what if I want to go as Dr. Kimberly Shaw but I don't want to shell out for an actual wig? Perfect: I can rewrite her famous Melrose Place scene as, "She Ripped Off Her Headbandit." I may owe Paris a major debt of gratitude here.
Behold, The Bandit:
Or should I say, "The Bandit," thanks to the unnecessary quotation marks that give it a delicious ironic air-quotes effect -- like whoever designed this is all, "Seriously, the only similarity this has to an actual bandit is that it ALSO should be outlawed." And yet it is AWESOME. I particularly enjoy the gentle elegance of Paris' heartfelt "That's Hot!" endorsement. It amuses me that the packaging's proofreader refused to let Paris spell it with her signature "hott" and yet allowed the erroneous non-word "Everytime" to find its way on there. Not that anyone will notice, because we are all too hypnotized by Paris's sultry gaze. Yes, thanks to her 22-inch hair that's been hot-glue-gunned to a piece of cloth, Paris FINALLY has the confidence to undress you with her eyes, although I think she also wears that same expression when she attempts math, uses her microwave, or is asked to spell her name.
However, I completely believe the claim that this product has "fashion on the run," as there is no way anyone or anything associated with actual fashion -- except maybe the Heatherette boys -- would do anything but flee screaming from this. And yet I am equally certain I will end up buying it at some point, because I have a not-so-secret love of deeply fake hair and its attendant camp factor, and Halloween is RIGHT around the corner. In fact, I wore J.Simp's extensions the year I went as Fergie, but those clip in and can't be torn off in the head of a catfight without some serious scalp issues. So these might be even better. I mean, what if I want to go as Dr. Kimberly Shaw but I don't want to shell out for an actual wig? Perfect: I can rewrite her famous Melrose Place scene as, "She Ripped Off Her Headbandit." I may owe Paris a major debt of gratitude here.
