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October 31, 2008

Fug or Fab: Eva Longoria Parker

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MARIO LOPEZ: EVA LP! WHAT UP!

EVA LONGORIA-PARKER: Hey, Mario.

MARIO: Hey, I've got an awesome idea. Let's talk about ME.

EVA: Okay. What's new?

MARIO: Nothing.

EVA: Then why did you want to talk about yourself?

MARIO: To avoid talking about what you're wearing.

EVA: What's wrong with what I'm wearing?

MARIO: You've got GREAT LEGS.

EVA: That's...wrong?

MARIO: I'm just avoiding the question. Hey, did you know that the Tampa Bay Rays have a player named EVAN Longoria? Every time he --

EVA: Yeah. I KNOW. Trust me. But, seriously, I thought this dress was kind of cute.

MARIO: Tim Gunn would say it's a whooooole lotta look.

EVA: I don't know if I trust a dude who spent like fifteen years wearing tank tops and patterned Hammer pants on morning television to give me style advice, honestly. You, I mean. I would trust Tim Gunn.

MARIO: It also makes me think you might have a bun in the oven.

EVA: Seriously? You're going there?

MARIO: I do work for Extra now. So, how about an exclusive, old friend? Got cookies in your jar? Is there a tuna fish sandwich in your lunchbox? Have you got soup simmering in your Thermos? How many olives are in your martini?

EVA: THOSE AREN'T REAL EUPHEMISMS.

MARIO: But seriously.

EVA: I don't like you anymore.

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