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October 6, 2008

Eva Afugri

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EVA AMURRI: Are you okay, Chris?

CHRIS BENZ: God, Eva, I've just been feeling sick about the whole thing.

EVA: What whole thing?

CHRIS: That day I put you in a pair of my hammer pants.

EVA: Oh, that? I'd forgotten already.

CHRIS: It's been keeping me up night. The anxiety has my hair standing on end. And I've worn every bracelet I can think of that might give me strength, or get me into all the good Kabbalah parties.

EVA: Well, allow me to absolve you.

CHRIS: Well, that's just it -- I'm starting to realize it's really not my fault. I mean, look at your hair.

EVA: Isn't it magnificent?

CHRIS: It is... definitely present and accounted for, on your head, yes. But have you really LOOKED at it?
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EVA: Sure I have -- it took my hairstylist two hours and three cans of hair spray to get this thing to stay put.

CHRIS: It's CRAZY. Seriously, that tragic little girl surfer in Blue Crush couldn't ride that wave. Not even if all the secondary characters gave her ANOTHER six half-hearted pep talks.

EVA: It's too much?

CHRIS: It's sculpture. Seriously. I don't know whether to laugh or cry, or hug you, or give you Kelly Wearstler's phone number. But I will say this: Whatever insanity drove you to that coif makes me feel a hundred percent better about the hammer pants. Obviously I'm not the wack one -- YOU are. Because yes, I MADE them, but you didn't have to WEAR them.

EVA: Hmm. I can't deny that. My mother is too awesome for me to tell a lie. It would disrespect my genes.

CHRIS: Phew. I feel better. I might actually sleep tonight. Of course, all my dreams will be of clothes that match your hair...

EVA: Oooh, does that mean I'll be wearing a high-fashion WET SUIT next season at your show? Or a coat made of surfboards?

CHRIS: ... Probably. Your mother is also too awesome for ME to tell a lie.



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