Right next door to my shop that helps you avoid red-carpet mishaps, I'm going to put its polar opposite: a gauntlet of sorts that spits you out the other end fugged up beyond all reason.
Step 1: Pound three generous shots of tequila -- the kind you get in bars that give 'em to you in actual cocktail tumblers.
Step 2: Sit in an office swivel chair and spin around for five minutes.
Step 3: In twenty seconds or less, grab five items from a closet full of clothes and accessories donated by, say, Kelly Osbourne, Cyndi Lauper, Katy Perry, the local arts-and-crafts store, and Sarah Ferguson.
Step 4: Run through a winding hallway while dodging a barrage of random accessories laced with superglue.
And finally, step 5:

Step 1: Pound three generous shots of tequila -- the kind you get in bars that give 'em to you in actual cocktail tumblers.
Step 2: Sit in an office swivel chair and spin around for five minutes.
Step 3: In twenty seconds or less, grab five items from a closet full of clothes and accessories donated by, say, Kelly Osbourne, Cyndi Lauper, Katy Perry, the local arts-and-crafts store, and Sarah Ferguson.
Step 4: Run through a winding hallway while dodging a barrage of random accessories laced with superglue.
And finally, step 5:
Leave quickly before you sober up again.





