This holiday season, I am thankful for many things: My health, my family, my Dr. Murad zit-blasting face wash, the fact that it's cold enough in Los Angeles to wear coats, mulled wine, fondue, the Pittsburgh Steelers defense, the fact that the hideously, brain-searingly, stabby-makingly awful Sears ad with that Five For Fighting song is seasonal and should therefore go off the air soon... the list is long.
But on there, somewhere, is a note of gratitude that Michelle Stafford did not come upon this pattern in dress form:
For one thing, it's a rather ugly pattern, so the less of it assaulting my eyes, the better. But I'm also thankful she wore this outfit exactly as it is, because it's so AMUSING. I got a welcome laugh out of it this morning. It's ridiculous -- it's like wearing a turtleneck over your prom dress, or trying to repurpose your wedding gown by throwing on a t-shirt. She looks like a piece of furniture you'd find in the Titanic wreckage, right down to the presence of some mildew at the base. Oh, Phyllis. Why were you even AT the Valkyrie premiere? You just caught your husband making out with his ex-wife in Paris and your father-in-law VICTOR NEWMAN (whose name generally requires all-caps, as that's how everyone utters it on the show) is in prison for something he didn't do and your rich old friend is presumed dead but is actually suffering from the kind of amnesia that makes a girl color her hair and sling hash at a remote diner. You have PROBLEMS. You don't have TIME to waddle around in thigh-chafing baroque upholstery. I hope Santa puts some leg salve in your stocking.
Which segues us nicely to: Jessica and I will be taking a short Christmas break, so that we can fully concentrate on bribing Santa with brandy and cookies (EVERYONE looks nice after a few hot toddies), using way too much tape to wrap our presents, making merry with Intern George, and sleeping until noon. We will miss you, but frankly, it's not like you guys would be reading anyway. If you celebrate Christmas, your to-do list is probably a lot like the one we listed for ourselves, and if you don't, you're probably luxuriating in the fact that there's no traffic and probably very short lines in restaurants because everyone else is at home lazily lounging in front of their trees and refusing to change out of their pajamas. Barring the onset of unexpected holiday ennui, we're giving ourselves the weeks of Christmas and New Year's Eve to relax, meaning we'll be back with new posts in 2009.
Happy holidays, have a wonderful end to 2008, and as ever, thank you so much for all the love and support and occasionally deeply entertaining hate mail you've given us this year. We have the greatest readers in the world and we want nothing but the best for you all in 2009. Remember, Fug Madness is just around the corner....
XOXO,
Fugsip Girls
But on there, somewhere, is a note of gratitude that Michelle Stafford did not come upon this pattern in dress form:
For one thing, it's a rather ugly pattern, so the less of it assaulting my eyes, the better. But I'm also thankful she wore this outfit exactly as it is, because it's so AMUSING. I got a welcome laugh out of it this morning. It's ridiculous -- it's like wearing a turtleneck over your prom dress, or trying to repurpose your wedding gown by throwing on a t-shirt. She looks like a piece of furniture you'd find in the Titanic wreckage, right down to the presence of some mildew at the base. Oh, Phyllis. Why were you even AT the Valkyrie premiere? You just caught your husband making out with his ex-wife in Paris and your father-in-law VICTOR NEWMAN (whose name generally requires all-caps, as that's how everyone utters it on the show) is in prison for something he didn't do and your rich old friend is presumed dead but is actually suffering from the kind of amnesia that makes a girl color her hair and sling hash at a remote diner. You have PROBLEMS. You don't have TIME to waddle around in thigh-chafing baroque upholstery. I hope Santa puts some leg salve in your stocking.
Which segues us nicely to: Jessica and I will be taking a short Christmas break, so that we can fully concentrate on bribing Santa with brandy and cookies (EVERYONE looks nice after a few hot toddies), using way too much tape to wrap our presents, making merry with Intern George, and sleeping until noon. We will miss you, but frankly, it's not like you guys would be reading anyway. If you celebrate Christmas, your to-do list is probably a lot like the one we listed for ourselves, and if you don't, you're probably luxuriating in the fact that there's no traffic and probably very short lines in restaurants because everyone else is at home lazily lounging in front of their trees and refusing to change out of their pajamas. Barring the onset of unexpected holiday ennui, we're giving ourselves the weeks of Christmas and New Year's Eve to relax, meaning we'll be back with new posts in 2009.
Happy holidays, have a wonderful end to 2008, and as ever, thank you so much for all the love and support and occasionally deeply entertaining hate mail you've given us this year. We have the greatest readers in the world and we want nothing but the best for you all in 2009. Remember, Fug Madness is just around the corner....
XOXO,
Fugsip Girls
