AUDRINA PATRIDGE: We've actually never met, Tori.
TORI: I know you from somewhere.
AUDRINA: I'm on The Hills? That reality show on MTV? Lots of pretty girls crying about boys and texting a lot?
TORI: I don't watch reality programming.
AUDRINA: You're ON a reality show.
TORI: I'm only on that because I was on a scripted show first. It doesn't count.
AUDRINA: Why are you even posing with me, then?
TORI: I thought it might make me look young. Hip. With it.
AUDRINA: Um, maybe you should try not wearing a doily and a severe bun, if that's what you're going for.
TORI: How dare you? If I stare at your boobs REALLY hard, I think I can see your nipples shields.
AUDRINA: At least people want to see my nipple shields, GRANDMA. You look like you just took a vow of celibacy.
TORI: I will cut you.
AUDRINA: I'd like to see you try.
TORI: Why don't you come on my reality show and we can mud wrestle? The ratings will be huge!
AUDRINA: Okay!
TORI: Nice doing business with you.
