[All photos: WENN]
MATT DILLON: Hi, Sarah Jessica, it's good to see you. Shall we go inside?
SJP: Matt, I just... hang on, I need to ... does my dress look weird?
MATT: Is this one of those trick questions? Because that is a LOT of plaid...
SJP: No, I mean... I can't seem to... it won't... Gah, is it bad around my boobs?
MATT: I am not good at these situations. Maybe you should ask someone else? Here, try this guy.
SJP: Excuse me, Fatherly Looking Gentleman No. 1, I don't mean to interrupt you, but does this look wrong to you? Should I.... I mean, does it need to be.... does yanking it up help? I can't seem to get it to stay... it just won't...
FLG 1: I'm sure it's fine.
FLG 2: Maybe if you hadn't just tied a giant kilt around your back...
SJP: WHAT? What did you say? Fatherly Looking Gentleman No. 1, WHAT DID THAT MAN JUST SAY? Did he say to pull it up MORE?
FLG 1: No, he didn't...
SJP: He said it's weird by my boobs, didn't he? HE DID, I SWEAR IT.
FLG 1: Come on, now, Sarah Jessica, you're being paranoid. Shall we?
SJP: Well, I mean, it's... I just need to... why did I even WEAR THIS THING? It's not even flattering! It's like a giant plaid sack! And it won't stay put!
FLG 1: Stop fidgeting. It's time to go inside and get this show on the road. Come on, time is a-tickin'.
SJP: No, I'm not READY, it's not RIGHT, I'm going to make an ass of myself, I have to...
SJP: Does tugging on it right here help at all? Is that laying better?
FLG 1: Sweet Jebus, I am never going to get her inside the building. I should've had a V-8.
SJP: I wonder if I should just run home and change real fast...
FLG 1: I can't handle this. MATT! Matt, I need you.
MATT: Kid, it's too late now. You wore it. Does it look uncomfortable? Yes. Is it pinching your boobs? Yes. Is it so shiny that I could check my reflection in your groin area? Yes. But you know what? Yanking on it is not going to help. So just suck it up and GO INSIDE and don't ever wear it again.
SJP: I need a valium.
MATT: That can be arranged. Come on, here we go... that's right... try not to look quite so crazy-eyed.
SJP: Is this better?
MATT: Not really. But there's a bar inside
SJP: Lead the way.
